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  • Housing situation

    Hey guys! Been lurking for awhile decided to post...Heres the situation..My parents went into a financial free for all after my fathers business went belly up and my mom does not work. We had an assessed house of 230k...absolutely georgous! My older sister, who has a high powered big money job came home from NYC and bought the house...My parents owed 100,000 on it, and owed like 10k in taxes which she paid...They signed everything over to her...No compensation...Gift of equity...The agreement was that my mom would live with her(dad got thrown out). Here we are, a year later, and my sister wants my mom out and isnt willing to give her a penny(my mom has nothing, never worked). My sister has a bf and i think he is going to propose soon and he wants to fully move in. This is such a terrible situation I do not know what to do or say to my mom. I figured with all the informative people here maybe someone could help me out or turn me on to something?
    Thank you.

  • #2
    This isn't really a financial problem. It's more of a family problem.

    I'd explore the reasons why your sister wants her mom out of the house. I assume that your sister is aware that her mom has no momey, income, or place to live. So, she has no compasion for this situation? Or, is there more to this story that you haven't disclosed? Do your sister and mom not get along? If so, why not?
    Brian

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    • #3
      Yes they do not get along. My mom doesn't like the bf because he does not acknowledge her and is extremely disrespectful. She knows my mom has no income but she said she will get money when her parents die. She is only asking for 55 k from my sister and she says oh I cannot afford that maybe 300 a month. It is a really sad situation. A real sticking point is my mom will not give up the master bedroom.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by UpstateNY86 View Post
        Yes they do not get along. My mom doesn't like the bf because he does not acknowledge her and is extremely disrespectful. She knows my mom has no income but she said she will get money when her parents die. She is only asking for 55 k from my sister and she says oh I cannot afford that maybe 300 a month. It is a really sad situation. A real sticking point is my mom will not give up the master bedroom.
        Unfortunately, your sister owns the house. So, if she wants her mom out, then she has to leave. She also is not obligated to give her mom $55,000 if she chooses not to, unless your sister owes her this money from some past debt. Where did the figure $55,000 come from? Is it an arbitrary amount?

        What are the prospects of your mom living with another member of the family or with a friend? I'd hope that your sister wouldn't allow her own mother to be homeless and broke.
        Brian

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        • #5
          Well sis profits on the house being signed over to her was about 110k after fees and taxes...so 55k was a settlement my mother came up with. Pretty much conceding the first 55k to my sister..The sad sad thing is my sister makes huge money and will only make more and more as time goes on, and my family gave her the world(while times were good)....I.E. she never worked before graduation....Supported her through 7 years of schooling new cars gas money paid for apartments...Just shaking my head typing about it..

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          • #6
            Originally posted by UpstateNY86 View Post
            Well sis profits on the house being signed over to her was about 110k after fees and taxes...so 55k was a settlement my mother came up with. Pretty much conceding the first 55k to my sister..The sad sad thing is my sister makes huge money and will only make more and more as time goes on, and my family gave her the world(while times were good)....I.E. she never worked before graduation....Supported her through 7 years of schooling new cars gas money paid for apartments...Just shaking my head typing about it..
            Well, it sounds like she at least owes her mom aid in finding a place to live and some of the profits from the house to at least get her started out being on her own.
            Brian

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            • #7
              So, this entire riff between your mom and sister is because of the boyfriend?

              Is he truly a bad person, or is that just everyones' perception? Or is it a case of your mom not accepting anyone and having the atitude that no one is good enough for her daughter?

              It would be a shame if a few years down the road your sister gets burned by this guy and comes crawling back to her mother for help. The same mother that she threw out onto the street a few years before.
              Brian

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              • #8
                You are absolutely right and we talk about that scenario..My sister is a controlling b****, to put it lightly...Now keep in mind I am not KNOCKING the BF for this, as my GF is in the same boat education wise and career wise...
                She makes 100k plus sister
                BF makes 25k a year
                She has 7 years of ivy educ
                He has none
                He was a pizza boy his whole life up until him and my sister hooked up and she probaly didnt want to introduce him as a pizza boy so he got a somewhat respectable job, albeit low paying. He does everything she asks him and is a puppydog..He grew up with nothing and now is living a lavish lifestyle dinners galas golf outing all kinds of stuff....He is socially inept to say the least....Really wierd and awkard...But that doesnt matter. The fact how she is treating my mom is gruesome to say the least..
                Last edited by bjl584; 12-04-2012, 07:56 AM.

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                • #9
                  Also the riff is because my mom wants the $ and she says she cant afford it...which she def. can...she also has personal trainer 3x a week brand new car all kinds of stuff...

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                  • #10
                    Sounds like your family should seek mediation. In the meantime, your mom should look into tenant and eviction laws in your state. Despite owning the home, many states prevent the owner from just throwing the current occupant out. There are legal proceedings which need to be undertaken, and could delay your mom having to leave for many months. It may motivate your sister to find a better path to resolving this issue.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by UpstateNY86 View Post
                      Also the riff is because my mom wants the $ and she says she cant afford it...which she def. can...she also has personal trainer 3x a week brand new car all kinds of stuff...
                      I see two separate issues:

                      1) There is definitely a family problem here. Maybe an intrvention of some kind would help.

                      2) I see an issue with your sister. From the little information that you gave, maybe your sister truly can't afford to give her mom $55K right now. She might have an issue with managing money. One thing that is for sure from being on these forums is that it doesn't matter how much someone makes. Anyone can overspend and be broke. New cars, personal trainers, and a leach boyfriend are all tell tale signs that maybe your sister has money problems. Maybe you can get more info on this.

                      Also, I had to edit your last post for language. No worries, just try to keep it clean.
                      Brian

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                      • #12
                        If your parents were married and your mother never earned income, does your father have any obligation to help with her support? Is she pursuing that?

                        How about you-- can Mom come live with you? Is she seeking work? She would not be the first older person to have to get paid work after decades without it.

                        I don't think your sister actually made a prfit by buying the house. She just got a house inexpensively. That does not put $55,000 in her pocket. Besides, if your parents sold it to her, I cannot imagine that your would have any legal claim on the value of the house.
                        "There is some ontological doubt as to whether it may even be possible in principle to nail down these things in the universe we're given to study." --text msg from my kid

                        "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." --Frederick Douglass

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                        • #13
                          1) Yes my mom is still legally married to my father and he still supports her actually. He is on a wage job and doing the best he can he gives her 300 a week so she can buy groceries for herself, pay cellphone, health bills etc...We thought a solutiton would be to sell the house and give the profits, or at least a share to my mother....but sis isnt willing to compromise...and also she made a profit because she paid 100,000 for a 230,000 house...Technically not cash in hand though...

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by UpstateNY86 View Post
                            1) Yes my mom is still legally married to my father and he still supports her actually. He is on a wage job and doing the best he can he gives her 300 a week so she can buy groceries for herself, pay cellphone, health bills etc...We thought a solutiton would be to sell the house and give the profits, or at least a share to my mother....but sis isnt willing to compromise...and also she made a profit because she paid 100,000 for a 230,000 house...Technically not cash in hand though...
                            Was it an actual sale done properly with title being recorded, your parents' mortgage being paid in full, and a new note? Or did your sister simply move in and begin making the mortgage payments? If the latter, was there any sort of written agreement?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by UpstateNY86 View Post
                              1) Yes my mom is still legally married to my father and he still supports her actually. He is on a wage job and doing the best he can he gives her 300 a week so she can buy groceries for herself, pay cellphone, health bills etc...We thought a solutiton would be to sell the house and give the profits, or at least a share to my mother....but sis isnt willing to compromise...and also she made a profit because she paid 100,000 for a 230,000 house...Technically not cash in hand though...
                              What are your father's thoughts on what's going on? Is he prepared or willing or able to help your mom out should she get thrown out of the house?

                              Your sister didn't really make a profit on the house. She just swooped in and bought it on the cheap. She would make a profit only if and when she sells. As I stated earlier, your sister may not have $55K. She could have money issues that you aren't aware of.
                              Brian

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