Early "Retirement" thoughts

[bdoubleu]

Long time listener, first time caller

Long story short:
Mid-twenty-year-old female, married, no kids. A major life event (death in family) happened recently, and has really put things in perspective.

Long story:
We have recently paid off all our debt (student loans) except mortgage of ~$90,000. I make a base salary of $110,000 and have the opportunity for bonuses/overtime/etc of ~$20,000 extra. Hubby makes ~$27,000 base with possible ~10,000 extra annually in bonuses depending on the success of the company he works for.

I work odd hours (12:30pm-11:00pm) seven days in a row, then have seven days off in a row. He works M-F 9-5. So when I'm working, we don't see each other for often days at a time. On my off week, he is still working during the day, so we still don't spend a ton of time together. We have had these schedules for one year now.

Our thoughts are that he quit working. We have been putting his income on our debt repayment for the last year, and now that we are done with that, we don't think we would "miss" his income. We would easily be able to save $2,000/month on just my income (plus 10% to my 401k and $10,000 annually to a ROTH for each of us) based on current expenses.

The biggest problem we are having is that we have talked about doing this when we have kids - but we don't have kids...yet. At this point, we just think it will be better for our relationship with each other, to be able to actually spend time together and be able to travel more (a goal of both of ours).

I absolutely love my job - it is fairly low stress, high pay, and very flexible when needed. He doesn't hate his job, but he has never really enjoyed what he does for pay - but he has several hobbies that he does on the side (brewing beer, writing music, cooking, etc.), and he is already great about cleaning/laundry/etc.

He has been at his job for just over a year, but has worked in the same industry for ~3 years now. We are both entirely on board with him not working - I am naturally driven to want to work, so I can't imagine staying home 24/7, and I'm already home for half of the year because I have every other week off. He is not lazy, just has not found his "calling" in the workforce. And we have come to a realization that the $30-40,000 he makes isn't worth us not seeing each other most of the year.

We are both in our mid-twenties, and are mostly struggling with the social aspect of our decision. We are in a much better financial situation than many of our friends/family due to living well below our means and focus on rapid debt repayment.

Wondering what your thoughts are on this situation - is this an okay idea? Smart idea? How to handle peoples' reactions? Anything we're not thinking of? For people who are older than us, do you wish you could have done this at our age, or did you do this?

Thanks in advance!

[MakeAStash]

Once he's out of the workforce he will likely find it tougher to get back in at a decent wage. If you should become too ill to work (or lose your job), how will you then pay the bills? Presumably you will miss at least some time when you have children. If he spends more time with the children than you, will you become jealous of their connection with him? Do you have significant savings to fall back upon should something go awry?

[disneysteve]

Certainly a great position to be in. If both of you are truly fine with him not working, I see nothing wrong with stopping. If you are debt-free except the mortgage and are able to invest 19% (10% to 401k plus 10K to Roths) for retirement and still have an additional $2,000 savings each month just from your base salary (not counting bonuses), that's fantastic.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about what other people think or say, but that's just the type of person I am.

I would at least consider a couple of other things. You mention that he has several hobbies that he enjoys. Perhaps he could find a way to monetize something that he does to some extent. Another consideration is for him to find work that would more closely match your schedule (at least on the weeks that you are working). If he could find a flexible part-time job that he liked, he could still be contributing financially while also having the freedom to spend time with you when you are off.

Overall, though, I see no reason for him to work given what you've posted.

[disneysteve]

Just to add some personal history to my opinion, in 1994 I had been working for just over a year and my income had climbed nicely to where we were living well on what I made and putting a good amount in savings. My wife was working full-time and didn't like it at all. She was constantly stressed out about her job. We were trying to have a baby with no luck. Finally, she had a really bad day in December 1994, called me in tears, and I told her to quit, which she did. We didn't need the money and the stress was wearing her down.

A month later, she was pregnant with our daughter. She remained a SAHM for 10 years and then went back to work. Initially, she had a full-time position and after about 2 years, she was offered a per diem job that she has now been at for 5-6 years. She works typically 3 days/week from about 8am to 1pm. She isn't thrilled with working but she knows finding something that flexible again would be tough. We have 50% of her gross going into her 401k (that's the max we could put in or else we would have done 100%) so basically she is working to pad our retirement savings.

[phantom]

I agree with the others. It sounds like you're in a great financial position for your husband to quit his job and like it would be a healthy move for both of you. So, I think you should give it a shot. Let other people think what they will. But, I think many would understand completely if you explain the situation to them like you just did here.

My only concern would be that, without work keeping your husband busy, the two of you would start finding more ways to spend money. You'll have to make sure you don't fill your extra time together with expensive nights on the town and trips around the world. Since you already live frugally, this shouldn't be much of a challenge, but it is something to watch out for. I like DisneySteve's suggestion that your husband find ways to monetize his hobbies. Even if he can only get his hobbies to pay for themselves, that would still help off set the potential for spending more.

[EEinNJ]

I understand how a loss can cause you to rethink priorities. We're not here forever, and there are no guarantees.

If your question was strictly financial, I'd say, sure, you make more than enough for 2 people.

But people, especially young people just starting out, need purpose in life, and have some sense of self-worth. Your husband may have hobbies he enjoys more than his job- me, too- but it's quite possible he'll get bored, de-motivated, and feel useless if he voluntarily becomes unemployed. Eventually this will take a toll on the relationship you're trying to protect.

So I think it's a bad idea. Encourage him to find something he'll like that also has the schedule flexibility that will allow you more time together, even if it doesn't pay much. It's not all about the money.

[MonkeyMama]

I say, who cares about everyone else?

I encouraged spouse to quit job and pursue his passions from the moment we married. I love working and love my job. He never had the guts but was laid off when I was first pregnant. Age 24. Fast forward 11 years and no regrets. Is transitioning from full-time parent stage to "more time to pursue passions" stage. He just wants to look back and say he tried his best. His income was much higher, and my income was half of six figures - it did not matter. (I am sure I now make far more than otherwise with his 100% support. The kids generally don't interfere with my work). But we did save up large sums in case my pregnancies or post partum were difficult. Definitely plan for the worst. You will have non average concerns. A short term disability policy might also be useful - if it covers pregnancy.

One thing that has made this decision positive was a nasty health scare to my spouse. He truly has followed his heart and focused on the important. there is so much more to life than having an official job.

Any female or male making this decision would be wise to have a plan b in case of death of bread winner, or divorce. Going back to work to support his family may be rough, but he has skills, lots of work experience, a degree, and we are insured. I do not worry about him. Divorce is the biggest financial risk I think. I personally couldn't put myself in that position, but have mad respect that my spouse did.

Other people will never get it, just get used to that up front. But the women will love him!

[asmom]

This is not a good idea. He's only in his mid-twenties and he's ready to call it quits from the workforce? He's too young for that. If he's not found his "passion", he should consider pursuing the training/education to do so.

[bdoubleu]

Once he's out of the workforce he will likely find it tougher to get back in at a decent wage. If you should become too ill to work (or lose your job), how will you then pay the bills? Presumably you will miss at least some time when you have children. If he spends more time with the children than you, will you become jealous of their connection with him? Do you have significant savings to fall back upon should something go awry?

If I become too ill to work, I have short- and long-term disability policies. I don't foresee losing my job (I obviously understand most people don't). I work in healthcare, and we are having trouble finding enough new applicants (even in "this" economy and "saturated" region), and I work the odd hours nobody wants to work. The organization is very big into employee retention. No one in our department has ever been let go except in situations where the employee violated rules several times.

I will have 12 weeks paid maternity leave whenever that happens. That does depend on the PTO I have built up by that time, but I have around 230 hours right now, and it would also accumulate during the leave. I don't ever use the hours since I have a week off so frequently, so they just build and build. If, for some reason, I didn't have enough PTO at that point, I would still have every other week off when I returned to work, so in my opinion, it's not as "bad" as going back to a M-F job.

I don't feel I will become jealous of his and our kid(s) relationship. I am home often enough that I think I would see them enough that this won't be an issue. And I would value my time with them even more, knowing I don't see them all the time.

At this point we have ~$20,000 liquid (very recently finished paying off debt), planning on the at least $2000/month savings, etc. Our monthly expenses now are ~$3500, and in an "emergency," we could cut this by at least $1000/month, probably more. We also have a goal of paying off the mortgage in 5 years (currently on a 15 year with 13 years left without adding extra to the payment). We'd like to get the savings up to around $30,000 before he quits, just for a little extra cushion, and then tweak that as we settle into our new routine.

If I did lose my job - we both have worked minimum wage jobs through early high school and college - neither of us have a hang-up on working for very little pay, especially in an emergency situation. He has no problem working if he has to, we've just come to the realization that he doesn't have to.

Our tentative plan is that he will be done working by 6/1/13 - so this gives us a "deadline" to try to save as much as possible from now until then. We should have at least the $30,000 liquid we want by then.

[bdoubleu]

Certainly a great position to be in. If both of you are truly fine with him not working, I see nothing wrong with stopping. If you are debt-free except the mortgage and are able to invest 19% (10% to 401k plus 10K to Roths) for retirement and still have an additional $2,000 savings each month just from your base salary (not counting bonuses), that's fantastic.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about what other people think or say, but that's just the type of person I am.

I would at least consider a couple of other things. You mention that he has several hobbies that he enjoys. Perhaps he could find a way to monetize something that he does to some extent. Another consideration is for him to find work that would more closely match your schedule (at least on the weeks that you are working). If he could find a flexible part-time job that he liked, he could still be contributing financially while also having the freedom to spend time with you when you are off.

Overall, though, I see no reason for him to work given what you've posted.

I was hoping for this - not just a "yes," but a "yes, because..."

I am also a person who really doesn't care what people think, but hubby is not, which I think is why we are contemplating this so deeply (read: me convincing him this is okay!). If I were the one who was going to stop working, I would just stop. He, on the other hand, thinks about how him leaving his job would affect everyone, and how everyone would react (i.e. his employer, parents, friends, random people, etc). He is very loyal to his employer, mostly because it is a very small business, they sought him out, and they have been almost like fathers or big brothers in encouraging his growth in his role. But the more he thinks about it, the more he begins to understand they may be upset with him leaving, but that his employer really shouldn't have a pull that strong in the work vs family battle.

We have talked about exploring him expanding his hobbies into some sort of money-earning thing at some point, so that is definitely an option. Also leaving the option of a part time job open if it comes with flexibility. He also has expressed interest in volunteering at the local food bank or animal shelter.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Use the time to find something he enjoys and if you want kids have them and I bet he'll like being with them. I never thought I'd enjoy my kids so much. But I do. I never thought I'd stay at home at 22, but 10 years later I do and I like it.

[riverwed070707]

Once he's out of the workforce he will likely find it tougher to get back in at a decent wage. If you should become too ill to work (or lose your job), how will you then pay the bills? Presumably you will miss at least some time when you have children. If he spends more time with the children than you, will you become jealous of their connection with him? Do you have significant savings to fall back upon should something go awry?

So what you're saying is that he should work so she doesn't become jealous of his time with any future offspring they may produce? That's just silly. Would you say the same if it were the woman wanting to stay home? As a woman with a husband who stays home with our child, I can say first hand that I love the bond they've been able to develop and I'm thrilled that she has a dad who can put her first and fill the gaps that I cannot when I'm working. Why on earth would I EVER be jealous of my spouse for being an involved parent?!

To the OP, I say go for it. Make it a trail basis. If he quits and doesn't like being home, he can look for work again or even quit with the intention of finding somethign he likes better. It doesn't have to be a permenant decision either way but theres no sense in working a job you don't like if you don't need the money. We work to live, we don't live to work.

[MakeAStash]

So what you're saying is that he should work so she doesn't become jealous of his time with any future offspring they may produce? That's just silly. Would you say the same if it were the woman wanting to stay home? As a woman with a husband who stays home with our child, I can say first hand that I love the bond they've been able to develop and I'm thrilled that she has a dad who can put her first and fill the gaps that I cannot when I'm working. Why on earth would I EVER be jealous of my spouse for being an involved parent?!

I merely asked a question, but your assumptions are very revealing. The OP didn't jump to such a conclusion.

[disneysteve]

To the OP, I say go for it. Make it a trail basis. If he quits and doesn't like being home, he can look for work again or even quit with the intention of finding somethign he likes better. It doesn't have to be a permenant decision either way but theres no sense in working a job you don't like if you don't need the money.

That's exactly what I was going to say. Give it a try. If 6 months or a year from now, he is feeling bored and unfulfilled, he can get a new job. As I said, my wife went back to work after 10 years out of the workforce.

I wonder if the small business he currently works for could work out something for him to stay on on a limited basis with flexible hours. I don't know the nature of the work but it might be worth exploring if he's interested.

[humandraydel]

I guess I'll be the odd man out and disagree (sort of). My personal opinion is that you are currently too young to do this. You have an opportunity to save a LOT of money in the next 2-3 years before you have children. That would provide you a very solid financial base which would make having children easier - then he can stay at home.