absolutely no concept of money

[97guns]

i have a 31 year old niece that lives in lake tahoe, she comes down to the sf bay area every few months to visit. she has some kind of degree in EPA but never could get work in her field, she is a parking attendant and makes $9/hour. last time down my mom gave her $500 because she knows that she is on a shoestring budget and advised her to keep it in the bank for a rainy day.

well she is down right now and i took her and my mom shopping in china town yesterday. the frivilous stuff that girl bought was unbelievable. sauces, snacks, candies and all non essential things, she blew $250 without batting an eye. when we get to my moms house she leaves for the pet store, she has a 40 pound dog at home that must eat 40 pounds every other week. she comes back with a $13 toy for my moms cat and whatever she left in the car for her dog.

i figured her mad money at the end of the month to be around $350-400 after all expenses. this kind of mentality will never get ahead. not a question, not a statement, just venting

[disneysteve]

She is clueless and your mom, who thinks she is being helpful, is only adding to the problem by enabling her.

She isn't on a shoestring budget at all. She is on no budget which is far worse. And as long as well-intentioned people like your mother continue to enable her by handing her money, she'll never be forced to deal with the problem.

[rennigade]

I wish I could personally thank her for stimulating the economy. Although she is probably just racking up cc debt which will lead to bankruptcy...which doesn't really help anyone.

[97guns]

she is not enabling her, she gave her $500 one time "for a rainy day"

when my mom saw her spending money like that it really turned her off, i told my mom "like it or not you are the one that just bought her all that crap"

[disneysteve]

she is not enabling her, she gave her $500 one time "for a rainy day"

when my mom saw her spending money like that it really turned her off, i told my mom "like it or not you are the one that just bought her all that crap"

Good for your mom for seeing how that money didn't actually help. I wonder how many others in her life are also "helping" her though.

[bjl584]

This is an all too common problem. There are books about it. You see it all the time on Suze Orman's show. Hopefully, at least your mom won't be enabling her irresponsibility going forward.

[kaleida]

I think it's rude to post another person's financial situation on the internet without their permission - even if it is anonymous. Posting your own financial situation is totally different.

[Nika]

I think it is totally fine when it is anonymous.

Creating more arbitrary "taboos" around money does not help people, quite the opposite.
There is something healthy about being able to talk of things that bother you, and doing it anonymously does not impact anyone.

[bjl584]

I think it's rude to post another person's financial situation on the internet without their permission - even if it is anonymous. Posting your own financial situation is totally different.

I see no issue with it. This is an open forum of discussion. If 97guns revealed her full name and address, then yes, it would be innapropriate. But it is anonymous. No one but OP has any idea who this person actually is.

[disneysteve]

I think it's rude to post another person's financial situation on the internet without their permission - even if it is anonymous. Posting your own financial situation is totally different.

I see nothing wrong with anonymous discussions. "I have a friend who..." is perfectly fine. Many of the discussion we have here are based on things we have experienced with friends, family members, coworkers, etc. If you cut out all of that, you'd be left with a far less useful site.

[lindsay06]

Yeah Steve is completely right. money won't fix her problem and you need to actually sit her down and physically help her.

[UnknownXV]

Irresponsible people, what would we do without them. Wait, we'd do a lot...

My mother's Boyfriend is far worse than this. He has mountains of credit card debt, low income, and just recently took out an 8k loan at his bank to try and consolidate his credit card debt. That was smart, because the interest rate is lower than the credit cards, but of course when the money got into his account he only used half of it for paying down the credit cards. So he actually is another 4k in debt and didn't even bat an eye at it.

He has parents that enable this behaviour though. They gave him his car, pay the insurance on it, they even give him food and money all the time for gas and other stuff. This is the type of person that will eventually just declare bankruptcy and be done with it, only to start it all over again. It irks me to no end. It doesn't matter if you try to sit them down and explain how this is not going to work for them long-term because they only live in the moment.

[woodie96]

UnknownXV...
My DW and I got married in 2002, and despite all my best efforts, the step-children all live in the here and now, never worrying about anythign moving forward.
Sad to say, but they are condemned to a life of poverty, unless something or someone can get through to them.