Reduction in Income, while we be ok?

[Stevenm122084]

My wife is leaving her job of 6 years to hopefully be a stay at home wife, and one day(soon) we hope to have children.

My gross income is $52,000(about 43,850 net) - her net income is about 21,750, which by December 30th will be no more. Since she is technically being laid off we are looking to draw unemployment, which in my state is about $275 a week up to about $3700(I think, Florida) This will go streight to savings.

We have a total monthly expense of about $2350-$2500, I get paid weekly so we will have money each week, but she is concerned it won't be enough - I have confidence it will be enought to get by comfortable but won't be enough to support 2 children in the future. With only my income we are left with about $250 a week after bills. From this will come food, gas, and other needs and wants(shopping, movies, dining out - this to a minimum). With all this, living comfortably would be cutting in close - any extra expense would cause insecurity. My guess is that I'm looking forward to alot of arguments about money... I worked my butt off to get a job that pays this well - I don't know what else to do.

If we pay her car off(which we'll have about $6,500 in savings at the end of the year) and cancel my gym membership, these being the two imidiate things we can do - we'll have about $70 more a week. We have over $200 in credit card bills(maybe $3000 in cc debt) - even paying these off will only add about $50 more a week and it would wipe out our savings(not something I'm looking at doing seriously - maybe just one or two cards). We have various needs around the house - A/C repair(or replaced, crossing my fingers it doesn't need to be), a new roof - its in good condition, but the insurance req a new roof ever 25 years... jerks.

With all this, I work as a FTC(Full-Time Contractor) not as a FTE - at the end of my term I could be looking for a new job... I really don't want to tell my wife she needs to find another job. I really want to have kids and have a family. Why is it so hard to make it in today's society? Am I overlooking something, am I over-reacting? I don't know what to do.... any advice?

[bjl584]

"Stay at home wife." Why?

[MonkeyMama]

As some other input, my spouse has stayed home with our children for 9 years. There is no way in heck this would be possible if he wasn't working and we weren't saving 100% of his income leading up to the time he stayed home.

If you don't want her to work, I'd have her work, and save up 100% of her income until you were in a better spot. You have to plan ahead for these things - I know people who make $120k per year (alone) who can't figure out how to let their spouse stay home. It doesn't happen unless you make it happen - at any income level.

It's hard not to give more specific advice without knowing exactly where your money is going. I'm also curious what is coming out of your paycheck (retirement? insurance? are you withholding too many income taxes?) For reference, my income was $50k when my spouse first stayed home. Living in a higher cost area, mortgage might have been almost $2k per month at the time. Thing is we had no debts, and had a huge amount of cash savings to help us through. Our only *want* in the beginning was a spouse who stayed home - absolutely no other luxury in the budget. Our income taxes were pretty much $0 the first few years when we had kids. Our income was actually less than $50k because I took maternity leave for months. Twice. Very doable, but took lots of advanced planning. The reason my spouse is *still* home is my pay has gone up considerably, since.

[disneysteve]

I agree with MonkeyMama and the others. If you want to make it work, you may need to make some sacrifices.

When my wife first left work to have our daughter, I was making 65K. We had bought our home about 8 months earlier and I still had close to 100K in student loans. We made it work by living frugally. We only spent 142K for our house so we could afford it comfortably on my income alone because we knew then that we wanted her to stay home once we had kids. We didn't eat out often. We did a ton of stuff to trim spending (read The Tightwad Gazette for example). We shopped at thrift shops and yard sales.

If you are both willing to do what it takes, you can.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Agree, get her to work until kid comes along. Then use entire salary to pay off debt or save. You'll be happy.

[Redraidernurse]

It seems the obvious answer is for her to work until you have children....It could take months to get pregnant and it takes 9 months for the baby to cook so that's a lot of unnecessary lost income. We are also transitioning for myself to be a stay-at-home mom right now and I have been socking away my income into savings in preparation for this. I'm approaching 8 months of pregnancy and have worked up until now (in undesirable conditions - night shift 12 hour shifts) I guess I am missing the point - why stay home while pregnant?

[jadet]

You guys can explore home businesses.

I think you're overreacting a bit. I'm sure you'll adapt to the change. I use to pay rent which is 1/3 of what I pay now for mortgage. Yet I felt like I wasn't saving then. I feel no different now...

[NuggetBrain]

The point of unemployment is to help you during your search to find another job. Not to pad your pockets when you have no iintention of working again.

[Coronet]

No reason not to work up until the baby is about to be born (7-8 months pregnant). She can find another job and work on saving her income till then. Hopefully that will help your situation.

[disneysteve]

It seems the obvious answer is for her to work until you have children....It could take months to get pregnant and it takes 9 months for the baby to cook so that's a lot of unnecessary lost income.

I don't necessarily disagree but just to give another view...

My wife and I were trying to conceive for months without success. My wife really felt that part of the problem was all the stress she had at work (she was a retail manager). She finally called me in tears one day in early December and said she couldn't do it anymore and wasn't about to go through another holiday season. I told her to quit and she did. She was pregnant less than a month later. Coincidence? Who knows.

[DebbieL]

I see no reason whatsoever for her not to try to get another job. You don't have kids yet, so what's the point of not contributing to the finances? I can see once you have kids if you want a stay at home parent, but at this point (and with your current financial situation) she needs to work. I believe adults should support themselves, so I guess I really don't get the whole "stay at home spouse" thing. I get it if there's kids in the picture, or some disability, but an able bodied adult with no kids should be working IMO. I would never dream of living off a man (again, I understand the looking after kids thing, so don't think I'm against that).

[dojo]

I'll chime in with the idea that, until she's close to giving birth, there's no reason not to work. She should look for another job and also try to think about something home based. Not all of us work 'normally' anymore and we're actually doing very well like this too. But now you need to pay off debt and get some savings. A kid 'costs' a lot, so I'd think about consolidating my finances and not let thousands of dollars slip

[elessar78]

I'll chime in with the idea that, until she's close to giving birth, there's no reason not to work. She should look for another job and also try to think about something home based. Not all of us work 'normally' anymore and we're actually doing very well like this too. But now you need to pay off debt and get some savings. A kid 'costs' a lot, so I'd think about consolidating my finances and not let thousands of dollars slip

Barring medical complications I don't think a baby costs a lot. When we had our first I was ready for this onslaught, this tsunami of costs tied into the baby that never materialized.

Formula is expensive, diapers can be expensive (I don't really think so). But everything is else is discretionary.

Get one of those magic bullet things to puree foods and baby can eat what you're eating. Babies have been growing up "on the cheap" for millenia.

[snafu]

1st, many who respond here want entitlement programs to end because people like your wife seek to draw benefits which in this case are for folks genuinely seeking employment.

2nd. Lots of families live on less than Gross $ 52,000., Net $ 43,850. and I'm certain you could accomplish your goals if you are both willing to work together to s-t-r-e-t-c-h every disposable dollar. What are you willing to give up? What is DW willing to give up to be a SAHW? We haven't access to your disbursements so you will need to create a budget that starts with retirement savings, emergency funds, existing debt, covers needs and wants. The oft quoted breakdown is 20% savings, 50% needs, 30% wants. Most debts fall in the want but not yet paid for column. Your wife has expenses tied to employment like income tax, transportation and clothes and she can focus time and effort on spending avoidance.

Items that you may consider need like 2 cars, cell/text plan, cable, internet, restaurants, convenience foods, gifts, new clothes, entertainments may need to be relinquished. Can you rent a room to a college student to bring in extra income? How much is privacy worth? What items can be sold on local e-bay or Craigslist? If you don't use it or need it, rather than store, create clutter or take the easier donate route.

Check Amy Dacyczyn [Cheapskate writing] at your library for novel ideas as suggested by DS.

When will you begin?

[LuckyRobin]

I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years, even before child one was born, because I had to be on bedrest for the pregnancy. DH was bringing home 28K then and we did fine. But we didn't eat out, we didn't have cell phones, we had one car, during part of that time we had no cable and only dial up internet, one phone line and no long-distance. We didn't go to movies or bowling or out drinking. We didn't smoke. We just didn't waste money. We tried to find free things to do in our county so we could have a date night now and then (free babysitting from grandparents). I spent as much of my time as I could learning to be economical. I checked out books from the library like The Tightwad Gazette and books on how to budget and stick to it, how to make cheap but healthy meals, how to save money and get out of debt, etc. Was it easy? No. Was it possible? Yes.

I would suggest your wife isn't going to try to find work, that she figure out the best ways for you to be economical. She should make that her job so it is second nature once she gets pregnant and then has the baby. I would suggest selling the second car. It can be tricky to have just one car, but not impossible. We did okay with it, it just took planning. If there are days she needs it for doctor's appointments or grocery shopping she can simply drive you to work and pick you up that day.

Try cutting back to just your income for this last month of her employment and bank her paycheck, just to see how hard it is to get by on one income and what you might need to do to be successful at it.