don't prepay anything

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I've learned my lesson yet again. I have to stop paying things in full and up front because I get a better deal. I need to pay things monthly so that if anything goes wrong I can stop payment and not deal.

I had to pull DK2 out of private school 2 months early and I lost the 2 months of tuition because I prepaid it 1 year up front. Part of the contract. Mind you I could have been paying monthly but I didn't. I hate the hassle. I also got a 5% discount in full instead of paying the monthly fees. Turns out I should have done monthly so they would have to chase after me.

I pulled my DK2 because she was being bullied. I do not use that lightly and until this most recent episode I didn't call it that.

To address your concerns about alleged bullying...There is no bullying happening. These kids are five years old. Occasionally they may squabble although our classrooms are known for being calm and peaceful environments where kids feel safe. The bite on Malia's finger did not break the skin or leave a mark. The child who bit her finger was talked to; he and his parents were talked to; and he sat by himself at a separate table for a week. He also wrote Her an apology. He is not a bully and he and her have continued to choose to play together, eat lunch together, and just generally gravitate towards each other daily. We cannot arbitrarily uproot this child and disenroll him as you demanded today in my office or move him to a new classroom. We would not move her away from her classmates and friends either. It would be inappropriate and entirely unnecessary.


That's what the principal said. I didn't ask him to be kicked out, I said I want my kid away from and said I want my money back for 2 months of tuition. If not I suggested he be moved to the other kindergarten class room.
That was the principal's reponse.

The boy bite her finger last week 6/19. We left for SF the next day then returned on Monday to school Then on 6/28 (thurs) he poked her in the eye. This is after in December 12/12/17 he pulled her jacket over her head and hit her. In February he hit her and pushed her on the playground 2/22. Then 3/16 he sprinkled green sparkles on her lunch so she didn't eat it (came from st paddy's day). 4/10 he teased her and sang mean songs to her at gymnastics. All the prior incidents she talked to the teacher. I emailed and documented each incidents. On friday 6/29 I went in again to talk to the teacher and principals and asked for my money back because of the situation. I explained that we'd just prefer to leave. But she could move the other child.

Anyway it's a loss. Right now we are on vacation this week and I had signed her up for a camp next week girl scouts with her sister. Then we're chilling the rest of the summer and she was going to school but I can't stand the thought of her going again.

Anyway I'm just annoyed. No i did not talk to the other parents. I thought the school should deal with it. Did I mention his mom is the 1st grade teacher? Other people heard about his bad behavior and I never said my DK was the one being bullied. And yes i'm calling him a bully.

Each time we went in and were told nothing else would happen. They would take care it. We signed a contract. We didn't want to move her to public school in March/April.

Oh well. Public school can't be worse. I am so lucky that I don't have to work and can just stay at home with DK. I have nothing else but to enjoy. I'm just a bit pissed and my mom was unhappy when I told her what happened.

Yes i have photos of the bite mark and photos of the apology letters. We found out about all these incidents because we sit together every night dinner and do highs and lows. And when she's had a bad day that's her low.

Anyway that's my sad story of the day. I spent thursday night crying over feeling like a failed parent. That I allowed it to happen. I was so stressed out over it. I worry so much about if I harmed DK2.

[Like2Plan]

I’m so sorry you had to deal with this situation.
I wonder if a letter from a lawyer might result in getting a refund? Or, could you take them to small claims court? It does not seem just that they did not provide a safe nurturing environment for your child and you still have to pay. (Also, it doesn’t give them any incentive to change the way they handle these issues in the future.)

[msomnipotent]

I think you did the right thing. One bite isn't a bullying situation, but this is ongoing. Maybe when this problem child directs his attention on someone else now that your daughter is gone, they might take more notice. Do you know any other parents that can keep you informed of what he is doing? If you can document that he is still bullying, it might strengthen your case for a partial refund. As L2P already said, it might also incentivize them to handle this type of problem better.

[disneysteve]

Sorry to hear about that. Unfortunately, it has been our experience that schools generally do absolutely nothing about bullying. They talk about it and run assemblies about it and all that nonsense, but when there is actually bullying occurring, they ignore it. I think they just don't want to get involved or don't want the legal risk of siding with one person over the other or whatever.

As for paying up front, I tend to agree. The only time I will prepay typically is for insurance premiums like our auto insurance. I know that if we cancel for some reason, we will get a refund. We just did that with Allstate last week actually.

When our daughter got braces, we had the option of prepaying to save 5% I think. I actually posted here asking opinions and the consensus was not to prepay.

Another time that comes to mind is when we were going out of town for a charity event. The hosting hotel was booked so I made a reservation at another hotel across the street with a prepaid rate. Fast forward a couple of weeks and rooms opened up at the host hotel so I booked us there, sacrificing the prepaid room across the street. Now, the only time I'll make a prepaid reservation is when I'm doing it just a couple of days in advance and I'm quite sure we are going.

[Gailete]

Many years ago after my first divorce, I was talking to a very wise and also a very quietly wealthy man at my church wondering if I should do the balanced budget thing for gas and electric. He simply said, why give them your money ahead of time to use? Stick the extra in the bank and draw it out as needed. I've gone by that policy ever since until I got into this house with prepay propane. By prepaying we save almost $1000/winter. If we don't use all the fuel it goes to our next year's heating needs.

When I was talking to the guy from Progressive about how to pay the bill - either all at once or monthly, quarterly, he said the fee for making payment is so cheap it isn't worth spending all that money at once.


I dealt with bullying of a sort with my youngest son that is autistic. When it was my part of the week, and I would pick him up from school, he was like a thundercloud and it would take him hours to decompress. It was like he was walking around with a 'Kick Me' sign on his back. I ended up taking him out of school and homeschooling him for 8th grade. By the time he started high school in 9th grade he was more mature and able to handle things better. Graduated HS with honors. Sometimes we have to do what is in the child's best interest when it comes to us and the school. Currently even though we have a good school system, I would never send a child to public school again. I don't like the fact that the schools think it is their business to check up with the doctor or dentist as to did we really bring the kid in for an apt.? Like assuming I am lying to them! That was just the tip of the ice berg.

[~bs]

he who holds the gold makes the rules.

it's easier to determine when and how to dole out your gold than it is to beg for it back once it leaves your hands.

[Butterscotch]

You have a cooler head than I do. On several occasions I have gone straight to the kids who have given my daughter a hard time and told them exactly what I think of their rotten behavior - starting in kindergarten, and right in front of the teachers. Because Disney Steve is right, schools will not do anything about bullying. Go right to the source of the problem. 5 years old is plenty old enough to know when they are being nasty and they should be put on the spot for it, IMO. Some parents might get mad, but decent ones will be embarrassed to learn their kid was vile enough to illicit a “talking to” from another parent.

[rob62521]

Very sorry about the bullying. There's always big talk, but very little action. It totally depends on the administration.

As for prepaying, we have been burnt in the past. Years ago we bought some carpeting and paid for it in full and we were waiting until someone finished the woodwork before we had it laid. Well, the business went under and we lost our money. Grrr.

[~bs]

if you do prepay, make sure it's with a credit card only and that the length of time is a few months max. that way if they try to pull some bs, you can file a chargeback.

[prosper]

Sorry you had to deal with the bullying. I had to deal with this in Kindergarten as well. I went through the necessary protocols and it didn't work. Eventually, I told my son to hit the kid back. He did and the bullying immediately came to a halt.

[Snydley]

The bully's mom is the 1st grade teacher. The school will definitely never do a thing and this kid is very likely harassing other kids as well.

I would have arranged a meeting with the kid's mother, but I'm a pretty confrontational person.

Good points about pre-paying in this thread. We just made the decision not to pre-pay my DD's orthodontic work for the reasons mentioned. It felt wrong to give up the discount but what if we decide to switch to another doc?

[disneysteve]

We just made the decision not to pre-pay my DD's orthodontic work for the reasons mentioned. It felt wrong to give up the discount but what if we decide to switch to another doc?

I think part of the pre-payment decision should be based on what is involved and what the timeline is. For braces, you're looking at 18 months to 2 years usually. That's a big thing to pay up front. What if something happens to the doctor? What if something happens to your kid? Who knows?

On the other hand, if I book a hotel room on Monday for a Friday night stay, sure, I'll prepay to save $20. I know there is only a very slim chance that we won't get there.

Gailete mentioned the budget billing for utilities. I honestly never really thought of that as prepaying since we still pay month to month. I've always done that more as a cash flow thing to have a set monthly bill rather than one that varies every month. Some months the bill is a little less than my payment; some months it's more than my payment. It's never dramatically different and it all evens out in month 12. I'm not giving them hundreds of dollars in advance.

[cypher1]

I think the only things I pre-pay is auto insurance for 6 month policy with Progressive saves me maybe 10% (?), and waste services only charges 11 months if paid in full annually.

[myrdale]

About 10 years ago when I replaced about half of my windows, I prepaid because I thought it would buy me some favor with the contractor. Instead it seemed like it put me at the bottom of their list. What was suppose to be a 2 week delivery turned into over a month. The next year I replaced the rest of my windows, didn't prepay and everything got done on time.

Yesterday I had my garage doors replaced. I had to pay 50% up front when I placed the order, then the balance yesterday on completion. I had specified I did NOT want windows on the door. Well guess what, I have windows. In this case I decided it wasn't worth the effort of having it changed, and honestly I kind of like them, but if I didn't I would still have the 50% to hold over their head and demand the correction.

In the case of the gym membership, I do pay annually which gets me a slight discount. I don't utilize it as much as I should, I am satisfied there.

I have played an online game called EverQuest for almost two decades. There is good savings for paying for the annual subscription vs month to month as well.

My ultimate opinion is for contractors, NEVER pay in full up front. For other services, weigh it out.

As for the details of your exact case, I don't know I would have removed my kid because of another 5 year old. Now that it is done, I think I would demand a refund (minus the discounted rate), even if it means a letter from a lawyer.