$500 patch for a bald tire

[TexasHusker]

My wife's twin and her husband haven't been able to run two nickels together in 24 years of marriage. She's a spender (drives a 5-6 yr old BMW), he's a passive dufus. Granted she has had major illness, but they've been on the financial brink since forever. We've helped bankroll hotels, vacations, eating out when they visit for a week.

They've tapped out his parents, her parents, and - you know it - here comes the cash call to us - they need $500 for graduation announcements and senior pictures.

Can you say PayPal ?

I'm $500 lighter today - better tighten the belt this month since someone else wont.

Sorry for the rant.

[disneysteve]

We've helped bankroll hotels, vacations, eating out when they visit for a week.

they need $500 for graduation announcements and senior pictures.

I'm $500 lighter today

Why? Are you saying you actually gave them $500? What possessed you to do that? I would have said "no way in hell".

[scfr]

On behalf of the niece or nephew for whom you forked over the cash, let me say thank you.

My parents were not good with money. My mom is a kind of a "professional victim" when it comes to finances.

When I was in 9th grade most of my friends became cheerleaders. I was interested in trying out but I did not have the money to pay for the fee or uniforms. Neither did my parents. My mom called my uncle and guilt-tripped him in to offering to pay. Even then I knew how she was, so I was a bit embarrassed. I declined and starting working an after-school job instead of trying out for the squad (I was 14). But I was, and still am, forever grateful to my uncle for making the offer, even though I knew he felt pressured in to it. In fact, when I met my cousin (his daughter) for brunch last year I expressed to her how touching his offer was and how I have never forgotten.

If the niece or nephew know where the funds are coming from, hopefully they are grateful, remember, and choose to follow a different path from their parents.

[TexasHusker]

Why? Are you saying you actually gave them $500? What possessed you to do that? I would have said "no way in hell".

When your wife's twin is asking for money, you give it.

[TexasHusker]

Her sister gets a $1400 a month disability chk, hubby makes around $55 as a coach. House pmt is $1200.

I've offered multiple times to help them figure out their finances, but he's too stubborn and says "that's private." I told my wife that if you're stretching dollars mode, you can't go driving around in finicky, high end German cars. Ludicrous.

Champagne taste on a beer budget.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Oh it happens alright. Being taken advantage off seems the name of the game in my DH's family. His parents and brother think nothing of doing it to us. They all make a lot of money but are so cheap.

[cypher1]

When your wife's twin is asking for money, you give it.

But where do you draw the line for limit of giving? Whether it's $5 or $500, doesn't make a difference, or who's asking, or for what purpose IMO.

For a lot of us (myself included) it's easy to say no when we're not in that situation. But then again, my family and friends already know better than to ask me for money or a loan, because they know my answer.

[97guns]

For a lot of us (myself included) it's easy to say no when we're not in that situation. But then again, my family and friends already know better than to ask me for money or a loan, because they know my answer.

I don't get asked either, it's really shame faced to ask for money, if I give money to someone they have not asked me for it

[Petunia 100]

When your wife's twin is asking for money, you give it.

Thats a chpice.

[disneysteve]

When your wife's twin is asking for money, you give it.

Not in this house.

Don't get me wrong. If one of my wife's siblings was truly in need, we'd do what we could to help, but no way would we participate in their bad behavior. If these folks earn $72,000 and can't scrape together $500 for something, that's not our problem. I'd be happy to offer financial advice to help them get their money in order, but we're not opening our checkbook to their mess.

[Fishindude77]

You did a good deed. Just be thankful you have the ability to contribute when called upon. I've done the same over and over and will probably again with friends & family. If it gets to be too much, you'll know when to shut it off.

Can't help somebody change that doesn't want to change.

[pflyers85]

[QUOTE=TexasHusker;455275]
I've offered multiple times to help them figure out their finances, but he's too stubborn and says "that's private."[\QUOTE]

Well if their finances are so private then I guess the solution to their money troubles should be a private one and I would take that as my cue to not involve myself further with my time or money. Them taking a handout from you is having it both ways.

[msomnipotent]

Not only do I have family like that, but I have a sister that asked to borrow money from us when we didn't have an income for 18 months (she and her husband had full time jobs), and then told me that she wishes she could go 18 months without pay because we must be rich. Sigh.

Can you just give the money to your niece/nephew as a graduation gift?

[Petunia 100]

That's a choice.

[tripods68]

My parents send $500 a month to her siblings for financial support. She's been doing this for 35 years. Unless you walked in other people shoes, we will never understand.