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Our family has had more than its share of funerals lately. I have noticed a trend, and mentioned it to some friends, who stated they have experienced the same thing.
Why do some people send flowers and plants, even though t
the family request not to, or suggests a charity or education fund donation instead???
Example 1.
My elderly cousins family request NO plants or flowers. She was not living near where she was buried, and had no family living there any longer either, but buried here beside her husband (she had a service at the small cemetery chaple, but also a service where she lived before). In fact, the little town at the cemetary was pretty much empty--more or less a ghost town as all have moved away. All the family flew in or drove it for it. Yet, people who came to the service brought plants and flowers, even though the obit asked for none to be sent and suggested donations to one of her favorite charities. The family could not take them home, because they flew and drove in. There are no nearby hospitals or nursing homes to take them to. So, they basically were thrown away--several hundred dollars worth of plants and flowers. It was cold and snowy, so none lived.
Example 2.
When my sis passed on in Jan, we requested no plants or flowers, but donations to the childrens education fund. Seemed reasonable to us, as her income would no longer be coming in to help fund their college. Also, her husband and son are highly allergic to many house plants and about anything that blooms.
Yet, there were probably 600 plants and flowers sent to her funeral (over 1000 attended the service, and many more attended another service in her honor as well).
While it made her husband somewhat proud people thought that much of her, it left him with what to do with the plants and flowers and he could not take them home. The local nursing home said they would take a couple, family took maybe another 10, leaving him with hundreds of expensive plants. The church policy is no live plants due to members allergies. At an average of maybe $30 spent per plant, roughly $1800 or more could have gone into the childrens education funds.
Flowers die, and thats depressing. A few plants is ok, but hundreds for the family to deal with is just another hardship on them. The funeral home said they had never seen anything like it before.
To top if off, one person called and ask her husband if he needed any assistance in how to care for the plant she had sent......being aggitated over the entire plant forest he had to deal with, he nicely told her to come get her plant as he was overwhelmed with plants and she took offense to it.
The church wanted all the plants removed the same night of the service, so it took over 30 people transporting these plants to her home. It filled the basement and garage to the point you could not walk through them, and left no space for out of town guests to sleep in the basement. Being January, they could not be set outside. With their allergies, it was a real mess.
Why do people do this?? Is it just easier? Or do they feel more traditional? Is it more of a sense of comfort to them to send flowers? Is to donate to their educational fund or a charity frowned upon of viewed as begging??
Any ideas??
Why do some people send flowers and plants, even though t
the family request not to, or suggests a charity or education fund donation instead???
Example 1.
My elderly cousins family request NO plants or flowers. She was not living near where she was buried, and had no family living there any longer either, but buried here beside her husband (she had a service at the small cemetery chaple, but also a service where she lived before). In fact, the little town at the cemetary was pretty much empty--more or less a ghost town as all have moved away. All the family flew in or drove it for it. Yet, people who came to the service brought plants and flowers, even though the obit asked for none to be sent and suggested donations to one of her favorite charities. The family could not take them home, because they flew and drove in. There are no nearby hospitals or nursing homes to take them to. So, they basically were thrown away--several hundred dollars worth of plants and flowers. It was cold and snowy, so none lived.
Example 2.
When my sis passed on in Jan, we requested no plants or flowers, but donations to the childrens education fund. Seemed reasonable to us, as her income would no longer be coming in to help fund their college. Also, her husband and son are highly allergic to many house plants and about anything that blooms.
Yet, there were probably 600 plants and flowers sent to her funeral (over 1000 attended the service, and many more attended another service in her honor as well).
While it made her husband somewhat proud people thought that much of her, it left him with what to do with the plants and flowers and he could not take them home. The local nursing home said they would take a couple, family took maybe another 10, leaving him with hundreds of expensive plants. The church policy is no live plants due to members allergies. At an average of maybe $30 spent per plant, roughly $1800 or more could have gone into the childrens education funds.
Flowers die, and thats depressing. A few plants is ok, but hundreds for the family to deal with is just another hardship on them. The funeral home said they had never seen anything like it before.
To top if off, one person called and ask her husband if he needed any assistance in how to care for the plant she had sent......being aggitated over the entire plant forest he had to deal with, he nicely told her to come get her plant as he was overwhelmed with plants and she took offense to it.
The church wanted all the plants removed the same night of the service, so it took over 30 people transporting these plants to her home. It filled the basement and garage to the point you could not walk through them, and left no space for out of town guests to sleep in the basement. Being January, they could not be set outside. With their allergies, it was a real mess.
Why do people do this?? Is it just easier? Or do they feel more traditional? Is it more of a sense of comfort to them to send flowers? Is to donate to their educational fund or a charity frowned upon of viewed as begging??
Any ideas??
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