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I need serious help. My MIL really does know how to push my buttons. Arrgh, I am getting so frustrated again. I want to SCREAM.
My DH has been gone all week for work since Sunday. His mom was going RV with friends and said she would be there on Sunday. Didn't happen until Wednesday (yesterday) because they were turned away at the border for some reason.
Anyway, last night he has dinner with his mom and she tells him she wants to visit. She has decided that she wants to book a ticket and stay with us. Realize this is a woman who once fly internationally and showed up at our doorstep. We booked her and his dad a hotel room. I am not happy. I am also getting frustrated because I am unsure what my DH should tell his mother about when and how long to visit. Basically she is going to SHOW UP on our doorstep again.
How much is a reasonable expectation of parents to visit? How long and How often is too much? Where and how do you draw the line?
We are currently in marital counseling because I have been feeling more and more stressed out by my MIL this year. Yes we went to premarital counseling, but it was just a short course and covered the basics finances, kids, family, very generally. And my DH and I get along great, even the counselor was wondering why we were there until the family started to really pour out. I really am starting to HATE, not just be ambivalent about my MIL. I feel like a bad person because I want to tolerate my MIL, not HATE her.
She wanted to visit for 1 month+ in February but was not allowed due to work circumstances thankfully. To put a perspective on how nuts/psycho she is, she is currently on "disability" from work, thus she is supposed to be at home. But she was worried if she came to stay with us and they found out, actually she did ask the department, they said that her "disability" would be revoked. Currently she is lying to her job and is not supposed to have left the country.
She has really gotten worse over the years. When I started dating and living with my DH she refused to talk to him, see, him, basically ignored him. The situation I think escalated when we got married, and she couldn't run me out of his life. I feel much more comfortable bringing this up now that we're in counseling, but I still get very stressed out.
My biggest problem is I just want my DH to say NO. I do not want to tell my DH no, I want him to say no because he wants to say no. I wonder if I'm being too petty and if I should directly say, No? We aren't meeting with the counselor for another 2 weeks.
My DH has been gone all week for work since Sunday. His mom was going RV with friends and said she would be there on Sunday. Didn't happen until Wednesday (yesterday) because they were turned away at the border for some reason.
Anyway, last night he has dinner with his mom and she tells him she wants to visit. She has decided that she wants to book a ticket and stay with us. Realize this is a woman who once fly internationally and showed up at our doorstep. We booked her and his dad a hotel room. I am not happy. I am also getting frustrated because I am unsure what my DH should tell his mother about when and how long to visit. Basically she is going to SHOW UP on our doorstep again.
How much is a reasonable expectation of parents to visit? How long and How often is too much? Where and how do you draw the line?
We are currently in marital counseling because I have been feeling more and more stressed out by my MIL this year. Yes we went to premarital counseling, but it was just a short course and covered the basics finances, kids, family, very generally. And my DH and I get along great, even the counselor was wondering why we were there until the family started to really pour out. I really am starting to HATE, not just be ambivalent about my MIL. I feel like a bad person because I want to tolerate my MIL, not HATE her.
She wanted to visit for 1 month+ in February but was not allowed due to work circumstances thankfully. To put a perspective on how nuts/psycho she is, she is currently on "disability" from work, thus she is supposed to be at home. But she was worried if she came to stay with us and they found out, actually she did ask the department, they said that her "disability" would be revoked. Currently she is lying to her job and is not supposed to have left the country.
She has really gotten worse over the years. When I started dating and living with my DH she refused to talk to him, see, him, basically ignored him. The situation I think escalated when we got married, and she couldn't run me out of his life. I feel much more comfortable bringing this up now that we're in counseling, but I still get very stressed out.
My biggest problem is I just want my DH to say NO. I do not want to tell my DH no, I want him to say no because he wants to say no. I wonder if I'm being too petty and if I should directly say, No? We aren't meeting with the counselor for another 2 weeks.
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