Recently, a younger cousin called to tell me she had some exciting news. After her first semester of college, she finally found a flexible job that worked with her demanding schedule. However, I quickly realized she was involved in a Multi-Level Marketing scheme. Although I’ve been approached by people before, it’s much different when a loved one joins an MLM.
How to Respond When a Loved One Joins an MLM
When she told me she found a job, my initial reaction matched her enthusiasm. That is until she gave me more details. She then asked if I would be willing to listen to her sales pitch and help her practice.
While my initial instinct was a hard no, I hesitantly agreed, immediately thinking about how to address the elephant in the room. Unfortunately, it isn’t always easy to remain supportive or objective when a loved one joins an MLM. After giving it a lot of thought, here is how I decided to approach the conversation.
1. Reinforce the separation of the person and the product.
I have no trouble turning down offers from friends and acquaintances. However, I knew that this situation would be more delicate since it involves someone I love.
While I had to make it clear where I stood, I didn’t want to discourage her during her job search or make her feel foolish for falling for their traps. So after her sales pitch, I told her that I was proud of the initiative she was showing. Then, I informed her that I don’t support the MLM model and that there are better opportunities out there.
2. Support your stance with facts.
Her reaction was exactly what I expected. She regurgitated the company’s standard responses. Since she was already deeply entrenched, I chose to focus on facts rather than changing her mind.
I started the conversation with some general career advice: no matter what the job is, you should always research the company to know who you are getting into business with. Next, I sent her articles discussing the class action lawsuits against the company.
However, I feel the strongest proof comes from online reviews. So, I forwarded links to sites like Glassdoor and Indeed so that she could read online reviews about the company and opinions from its employees.
3. Be firm but gentle.
Although I sat through her sales pitch, I told her that I could not afford their products and wouldn’t buy anything. Even when she came back with the standard rebuttals, I stood firm.
But in an effort to remain supportive outside this job, I offered honest feedback about her presentation and helped to search for other job opportunities better suited to her strengths.
4. Prepare for a backlash.
Although I tried to be as gentle as possible, she still didn’t take the news well. She was clearly disappointed and has been distant ever since our conversation.
But there was a silver lining. Even though she had a negative response, it wasn’t as bad as I expected. When I turned down other offers, people became very angry. Despite my gentle approach, I have been both personally attacked and insulted for my refusal. You must prepare for this backlash and keep your cool. Escalating the situation is the quickest way to ruin relationships and drive them further into the MLM structure.
5. Enforce your boundaries.
At this point, I realize that there is very little that I can do to prevent her from going deeper down this rabbit hole. Therefore, the only way I can respond is by enforcing my boundaries and repeatedly telling her that I will not be buying any of her products.
I have also reached out to other family members to make them aware of the problem. Others have also tried talking to her, but she stubbornly sticks to her script. I feel as if the only way she will learn is through failure.
Although I don’t agree with her choices, I still plan to do my best to maintain other aspects of our relationship. And, you can bet that I will quickly shut down any conversations that may lead to another sales pitch. While I realize there is a chance our relationship may never recover, I still have hope.
What advice do you have for a loved one who joins an MLM? Please share your idea in the comments below!
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Jenny Smedra is an avid world traveler, ESL teacher, former archaeologist, and freelance writer. Choosing a life abroad had strengthened her commitment to finding ways to bring people together across language and cultural barriers. While most of her time is dedicated to either working with children, she also enjoys good friends, good food, and new adventures.
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