A money-spending addiction – which can also be referred to as a compulsive buying disorder, shopping addiction, or oniomania – can destroy a person’s financial life. Plus, it can harm their relationships. Driving up household debt or missing critical payments can easily lead to disagreements. Plus, how a person’s spending addiction expresses can cause strife. Fortunately, by knowing the red flags of compulsive buying disorder, it’s easier to see whether intervention is necessary. Here’s a look at ten telltale signs that you have a money-spending addiction.
1. Busting the Budget When Shopping
While everyone may occasionally spend more than they initially planned, a person with a money-spending addiction struggles with remaining within a spending budget more often than not. Essentially, any limits in place – whether imposed by themselves or others – aren’t effective at limiting how much money they commit to purchases. Instead, they essentially ignore the budget and shop until the desire is quelled.
In some cases, this can lead to a pattern of bulimic shopping. When this occurs, the person buys items to release feel-good chemicals that improve their mood. Then, once that buzz wears off and the guilt or reality of overspending kicks in, it causes them to return some or all of the purchases. However, others may not feel the drive to return the items, causing them to remain over budget.
2. Buying Things in Response to Challenging Emotions
For people with a money-spending addiction, purchases may be a form of self-medicating. Essentially, they buy to trigger feel-good chemicals in the brain that functionally serve as a pick-me-up, allowing them to offset challenging emotions like sadness, stress, or depression.
In this case, shopping isn’t based on the need for any items; it’s essentially an emotional experience. It’s the act of buying that matters, and what’s purchased isn’t always as critical a part of the equation.
3. Using Credit Cards or Loans to Pay Other Debts
When a person has a money-spending addiction, they typically have trouble making financial ends meet. Additionally, it’s not uncommon to have several credit accounts, such as multiple store cards.
As a result, they may begin using credit to pay other debts that result from their excessive shopping. For example, they may pay a store card payment using a regular credit card or might get a loan to pay off a credit or store card and then rack up a new balance on the account they paid off.
4. Hiding Purchases from Loved Ones
For many people with a shopping addiction, hiding purchases from loved ones may be a way to disguise their addiction or a means of avoiding judgment. The person might keep purchases hidden in the trunk of their car or may bury them in their closet. Some may go as far as to have a secret storage unit rented to hold the items. However, the goal is primarily the same, as they’re aiming to stop others from seeing what they’re buying.
5. Concealing Financial Accounts
Another step someone with a money-spending addiction may take is finding ways to conceal details about various financial accounts. For example, they may have credit cards they don’t disclose to other household members.
Additionally, the person with the spending addiction might make sure that they’re the only one who has access to credit cards or bank statements. They may do this by being the only person who checks the mail, sending statements to a location other than home, or being the only person with access to the accounts online.
The goal here is to prevent others from seeing the evidence of the purchases they’re making. By hiding financial accounts or statements, household members won’t see charges to the cards, essentially allowing the person with the spending addiction to continue their activities without interference.
6. Struggling to Make Bill Payments After a Spending Spree
With a money-spending addiction, a person may shop regardless of whether they have upcoming bills to pay. Then, they only realize that they can’t pay their bills after the spending spree is over, leaving them in a sudden financial bind.
Essentially, the person’s shopping behavior distracts them from other financial needs or priorities. The drive to spend overrides the rest and that can cause them to make unwise choices that ultimately bust their budgets.
7. Failing to Use Items You Purchase
When a person has a shopping addiction, they may buy items they legitimately don’t need. As a result, new purchases may linger in their packages for months or years. In some cases, they may even remain in the retailer shopping bags they were placed in after purchase.
In some cases, failing to use the items they buy can result in hoarding behavior. They may pile up everything they purchase in a closet or room, preventing the space from being used for other purposes. At times, they may even go as far as to get other storage options – such as a separately rented storage unit – purely to hold the products they buy.
8. Being Secretive About Shopping Activities
Many people with a spending addiction are often secretive about their shopping activities. They may tell household members that they’re heading out to handle other tasks to not draw attention to a shopping trip. Alternatively, they may limit their spending to times when household members inherently aren’t around, such as during lunch breaks at work.
For those whose spending is primarily online, they may start having their items delivered to an address that’s not their home. For example, they may send their purchases to their office, or they might get a new post office box – without informing others – as a means of keeping their online purchases private.
9. Getting Angry When Others Try to Reel in Your Spending
When a person has a shopping addiction, they often react negatively if another person attempts to put constraints on them to limit their spending. Anger is a common emotion they’ll experience, though others may become defensive, especially if the limitations posed by others are expressed in a way that seems judgmental.
The source of the frustration can vary, but some of it is usually based on another person attempting to prevent them from participating in an activity that releases feel-good chemicals in the brain. How the attempt to reel in their spending is delivered may amplify these negative feelings.
10. Wanting to Cut Back but Failing to Make It Happen
If a person wishes they could get control of their spending but struggles to make it happen, that could be a sign of compulsive shopping disorder. Many people struggling with an addiction will find workarounds to obstacles they put in place to curb their behavior, even if there’s a genuine desire to quit spending. For example, they may delete shopping apps, bypass favorite stores, or take similar actions but not achieve their goal, as they quickly find other ways to satisfy their desire to shop.
Can you think of any other signs of a money-spending addiction people should be mindful of? Have you struggled with a spending addiction and want to tell others about your experience? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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Tamila McDonald is a U.S. Army veteran with 20 years of service, including five years as a military financial advisor. After retiring from the Army, she spent eight years as an AFCPE-certified personal financial advisor for wounded warriors and their families. Now she writes about personal finance and benefits programs for numerous financial websites.
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