Do You Have The Right To Buy Luxury Items?

[Singuy]

I know the topic sounds weird but I had an argument with the wife about this last night so here goes.

If you are a generally frugal and all your friends/family members know you are frugal, then do you come off as a show off buying luxury goods?

This happens to a lot of Asians I know, who do all sorts of "extreme cheapskate" things like diluting dish soap with water, but ends up buying Mercedes/large houses.

So are luxury goods only for those who generally waste money? Does eating out a lot/going to whole foods/ buying brand name things at the mall, paying for friend's meals, and going on lavish vacations give one MORE right to buy a Mercedes?

This topic is extremely interesting to me because the argument makes sense. Why would someone who is so cheap/frugal, goes out and does something that makes no sense at all?(like why not a beater but a Mercedes?) Buying a Mercedes will come off like a show off..and that you are not representing your true self(which is a calculating cheapskate).

But on the flip side, people who are extremely frugal can save up enough to pay cash for there Mercedes unlike people who wastes money to begin with and needs to lease theirs just to be more consistent with their image.

My parents paid cash for their Mercedes (and also paid cash for my Jaguar as a wedding gift..and paid cash for their 3200 squareft house ) and has a substantial net worth..but they also dilute their soap with water, not turning on the A/C, and shop at Aldi/Save-A-Lot/Walmart.

My wife's friend leases her Audi (and must continue to lease), has no savings(or net worth), no down payment for their house, but has a purse that cost 2k, only wears brand name clothing, recently bought a 8k Rolex for the husband, and bought a 3k espresso machine to "save money from going to Starbucks daily". This is the eye roller every time she sees what I do that is considered to be "cheap".

Of course what you want to do with your money is your business, but that's not the argument here.


What do you guys think?

[disneysteve]

Interesting question.

I think it really comes down to priorities. If someone's priority is driving a top-quality car and they are willing to economize in other areas in order to, I see nothing wrong with that. We do that all the time. I'll buy store brand Cheerios and drive a 10-year-old car that I bought used so that we can afford our annual trips to Disney World. We buy clothes at Goodwill and tear dryer sheets in thirds but have Calphalon professional grade cookware.

As long as the overall budget works, you're not racking up stupid amounts of debt, you're not neglecting your health or that of your children, and you are saving adequately for the future, how you spend each dollar really doesn't matter.

Certainly there are cases that I'd look at and suggest that maybe that person's priorities need to be reevaluated (like your friend with the leased Audi, no savings, and a $2,000 purse). Apparently, she prioritizes her appearance over her financial security.

[Singuy]

Apparently, she prioritizes her appearance over her financial security.

This is true, but does this gives her the right to dismiss or accept other people who does the same? According to her, my parents are doing it all wrong(since she's the expert at prioritizing appearances). My parents should be more wasteful in order to have the right to own a Mercedes. Is there's a build in maintenance (image) cost on luxury goods?


It's like having a country club membership while driving a 20 yo Honda civic...or getting a motel room while driving in a 70k Jaguar.

Also I think it is more acceptable to travel lavishly because it's harder to "show off" your experiences.

[disneysteve]

This is true, but does this gives her the right to dismiss or accept other people who does the same?

Certainly not. She has her priorities. They have theirs. They don't need to all be the same.

[disneysteve]

Also I think it is more acceptable to travel lavishly because it's harder to "show off" your experiences.

But that's exactly the point. We prioritize life experiences over materialistic items (for the most part). Others do just the opposite and would rather spend their money to surround themselves with fancy stuff. Neither one is right or wrong. We just have different priorities.

[Singuy]

But that's exactly the point. We prioritize life experiences over materialistic items (for the most part). Others do just the opposite and would rather spend their money to surround themselves with fancy stuff. Neither one is right or wrong. We just have different priorities.

Yes but I am talking both having similar priorities.

Person A wants fancy stuff (Mercedes) to show off their status

Person B wants fancy stuff (Audi) to show off their status

Person A gets it by being frugal and cheap..doesn't come off as someone who wants fancy stuff..but ends up getting the recognition anyways due to some big item purchases like the car/house.

Person B is more consistent with the fancy stuff image.

We are essentially talking about the same people. They both want the recognition of a certain status. They just have different ways of getting there.

Person A may seem less "genuine" because secretly they live very frugally, but this method allow them to actually own the fancy stuff

Person B seems more "genuine" but they actually don't own the fancy stuff (leased).

Person A will call out Person B for being disingenuine because Person B doesn't own anything and just "seems" rich.

Person B will call out Person A for being "fake" because they are not consistent with their image.

[Jluke]

So in order for someone to have a luxury vehicle, they must also have specific high-end items to go along with it...

otherwise they are just faking their luxurious lifestyle.

[Like2Plan]

I don't go along with the the over spender, but I also wonder about the person who doesn't run the A/C (Well, unless they are comfortable, but I know I wouldn't be comfortable not to run the A/c where I live). It is surprising behavior and incongruous to their financial situation.
But, I might not be the right person to ask this question because I don't really care how folks dress or what car they drive. I think paying 2,000 for a purse is silly--(unless the purse has magical powers. )

[Singuy]

So in order for someone to have a luxury vehicle, they must also have specific high-end items to go along with it...

otherwise they are just faking their luxurious lifestyle.

According to person B, if you are buying a luxury vehicle for the badge (not for anything else but just for the badge), then yes you should have other high end items to go along with it.

[disneysteve]

Yes but I am talking both having similar priorities.

Person A wants fancy stuff (Mercedes) to show off their status

Person B wants fancy stuff (Audi) to show off their status

Person A gets it by being frugal and cheap..doesn't come off as someone who wants fancy stuff..but ends up getting the recognition anyways due to some big item purchases like the car/house.

Person B is more consistent with the fancy stuff image.

We are essentially talking about the same people. They both want the recognition of a certain status. They just have different ways of getting there.

Person A may seem less "genuine" because secretly they live very frugally, but this method allow them to actually own the fancy stuff

Person B seems more "genuine" but they actually don't own the fancy stuff (leased).

Person A will call out Person B for being disingenuine because Person B doesn't own anything and just "seems" rich.

Person B will call out Person A for being "fake" because they are not consistent with their image.

Okay, I see where you were going with this.

I don't think these people are necessarily the same at all.

Just because someone has a luxury item doesn't mean they bought it to impress others or show off their status. They may have bought it because they personally truly appreciate it and couldn't care less what others think. One person may have gotten a nice car because driving a quality vehicle is important to them while another did it to impress their friends.

Certainly, I'd say the person who is more "genuine" is the person who can actually afford their luxuries as opposed to the person who is deep in debt in order to finance their outward appearances. I don't think it matters if you have a consistent image. I think the "real" people are the ones who spend what they can afford on items that matter to them. Buying fancy stuff just to present a certain image is a fake way to live whether you can afford it or not and especially if you can't.

[97guns]

I can afford any luxury I could ever imagine but I drive a 40 year old car and rarely wear more than $30 of clothing on any given day, I choose not to live beyond my means and not be a slave to it. Luxury items I will buy without hesitation is gold jewelry and bullion, I am very hesitant to buy any depreciating luxury item

I'm not out to impress anyone but myself

[feh]

My parents paid cash for their Mercedes (and also paid cash for my Jaguar as a wedding gift..and paid cash for their 3200 squareft house ) and has a substantial net worth..but they also dilute their soap with water, not turning on the A/C, and shop at Aldi/Save-A-Lot/Walmart.

I would describe this as penny wise, pound foolish. Frankly, I don't understand the mindset of making dish soap last as long as possible, and also dropping $50K or more on a vehicle.

To get back to your original question - I don't see why people would care, as long as the buyers are living within their means. Folks should concentrate on minding their own business.

[feh]

My parents should be more wasteful in order to have the right to own a Mercedes.

This makes no sense to me. At all.

Somebody can only waste money on a Mercedes if they also waste money in their day-to-day expenses?

Non sequitur.

[phantom]

Just because someone has a luxury item doesn't mean they bought it to impress others or show off their status. They may have bought it because they personally truly appreciate it and couldn't care less what others think. One person may have gotten a nice car because driving a quality vehicle is important to them while another did it to impress their friends.

I've got to agree with this.

There are definitely some people who judge others based on their material possessions who aren't going to be "fooled" by someone who has one or two luxury items but is extremely frugal in other areas. If one's goal is impressing those people, one either has to keep the frugal habits hidden or opt for luxury everywhere.

Not that anyone should really care much about impressing me, but I find people who choose luxury in some parts of their life and the bare minimum in others to be rather impressive. That signals to me that they've really thought about what's important to them and made conscious spending choices. Of course, I think a lot of my inconsistent choices come from habits I've picked up at different phases of my life, so maybe I give people too much credit.

[disneysteve]

I would describe this as penny wise, pound foolish. Frankly, I don't understand the mindset of making dish soap last as long as possible, and also dropping $50K or more on a vehicle.

I find people who choose luxury in some parts of their life and the bare minimum in others to be rather impressive. That signals to me that they've really thought about what's important to them and made conscious spending choices.

feh, I think phantom addressed your post very well.

We earn a 6-figure income but we cut dryer sheets into thirds before using them. Do we really need to do that? No, but it's a frugal habit we picked up years ago when we did need to do stuff like that and we see no reason to be more wasteful and throw a full sheet in every time.