Do you hide your finances?

[Permanent Temp]

I hide it as best I can. I have a part-time job were everyone lives off of their paycheck and for some the job is their career. Everyone knew coming in that I was just there because I had no other options at the moment and needed to have some money coming in. For some reason they thought I was going to settle down there and work up to management saying things like there's great opportunity for advancement. The minute I got a decent contract job everyone acted coldly toward me. I had to change my hours so I had to let my boss know. One of the managers told me to be grateful I still had another paycheck coming in through a rather tense smile.

It's been a struggle getting along with them ever since and many of them want me to leave it seems. They don't even know how much I make at my other job because I refuse to tell them. One of the mangers is always complaining about how her checks are gone when they come in. Mine are gone too technically since I just put those checks into my emergency fund and forgot they ever existed. I don't have issues like this at my regular job at all. Everyone is just professional and there to work.

OP I would just stay out of it as much as possible. Or say yes I love payday too or something. Maybe do half truths. Like it feels like I'll never pay my house off. Even though you have a plan for it it could feel endless something like that? It seems odd to me that a workplace would be that opposed to success seems counter productive somehow.

[kork13]

I don't really hide my finances, but I also don't normally share much in the way of details unless I'm asked or if it comes up in conversation. I'll freely discuss my saving & budgeting practices in terms of percentages or general amounts; I'll talk about my experiences financially with mortgages, car loans, insurance, credit cards, savings, etc. I just don't necessarily give exact figures or details unless I'm asked directly about them. So I normally just don't mention my financial situation. Sometimes, if asked, I'll downplay things if the circumstances dictate, but that's typically if it's a public situation or if being forthright would not be appropriate.

As far as my colleagues go... I'm an officer in the military, so people's finances are a little more transparent -- based on your rank & how long you've been in the service, I can pretty much know exactly what you earn each month. Plus, if any of my subordinates start to have financial problems (excessive debt, family emergencies they can't deal with, etc), I will be working with them to get things sorted out and back on track. Besides that, being in the military, there's alot of trust and collective commiserating, so I think people are more open and willing to share than in other environments. So people (myself included) all talk about what's going on to some extent. So I know that many people around me have financial issues, or at least aren't exceptionally savvy with regard to their money.

In most cases, I don't share the fact that as an unmarried 27 year old, I've got nearly $100k in retirement and a net worth over $200k.... but that's because I'm a huge exception from my peers. Many of my friends are finishing college, or recently graduated, and many of them are from humble roots where money is tight. In most cases, it would be uncomfortable both for me & for my friends if they knew my full situation and how successful I've been in managing my money. However, my close friends & family know that I manage my money well. They can see my home, the things I have, the fact that I don't stress about money ... and you can tell to some extent. Some of them know details about where I stand, because as I said, I don't really hide my finances, especially from the people I trust, care about, and am close to. I don't like to keep secrets from people, so if I trust someone, I'll freely share details of my life.

Side note... It actually feels strange to bare myself like this even on our anonymous forum... The other reason I don't share alot of details about my finances is that I was raised humbly and I'm not comfortable "bragging" about myself. So that is another thing that keeps me from talking about my finances much...knowing that I'm doing better than alot of the people around me, I'm uncomfortable even giving the appearance that I might be boasting about my financial situation. Odd? Perhaps...but that's me.

[dojo]

We live in a sick society where debt is normal and people who are making smart decisions are seeing as 'weird'. I stopped discussing about finances since most people get mean, once they realize we don't struggle as much as they do, even if we don't have 'normal jobs' and we actually had to work a lot to keep afloat 2 years ago.

Most our friends/relatives are deep in debt and always complain about it. What can I say? That we are debt free? That we earn pretty nicely so that we're not waiting for the next 'check'? That we save money and plan for retirement? No. I just chime in and say we live in very hard times and the economy is crap. Which it is, no one can argue with this, especially in my country. So I just deflect the talk and everybody's happy, thinking we're also struggling as much as they do.

The few times we did try to provide some tips for them to save/budget, we got pretty snippy responses. Oh, well ... then everybody's free to find out for themselves

[kork13]

I'm actually surprised that many people lie, mislead, or otherwise make it seem like they're also in the same financial mess as the people around them. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not at all trying to condescend, judge, or accuse anyone -- I only mean to say that it's unfortunate that doing so would be preferable to sticking out as the "weirdo" who is actually smart with money. Society is strange...

I guess I tend to follow the "stay silent" philosophy when it doesn't seem appropriate to talk about my financial situation. My most common response in conversations where people are talking about the poor shape of their finances is just to mention something along the lines of saying that setting aside some savings every month has prevented alot of problems for me... Just to give a small bit of helpful advice... But as dojo mentioned, alot of times that kind of comment is discounted as fantasy or impossible. They'll say: "Yeah, I wish I could afford to save a couple hundred dollars a month!" .... makes me sigh... I always want to tell them "You can't afford NOT to!!"

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I feel like saying that as well. Or when I hear people say I can't afford retirement, but when the kids are older I will start savings. I wonder when? When do you start?

[Reggie]

I do NOW. After my divorce, some colleagues made some comments about my financial situation and asked if I was struggling. I basically told them that I would be fine. That wasn't good enough. My husband was a bit of a dead beat and just moved away. They asked me about child support and I just laughed and said "He weasled his way out of that." Then they thought they were being helpful and supportive and continued digging. I explained that I didn't have a mortgage and I was buckling down a bit to pay off my old car loan and get myself on solid ground. More probing and direct questions about my debts and I said "I have two car loans but no other debt. My mortgage is paid. I have $290K in my 401k and about $25k in investments and savings combined". Now, they freakin talk smack about me. JERKS. I'm not telling them crap anymore.

And everyone I work with is highly compensated. I am a single mom now and they are talking smack about me not having bills.

I was also at a party over the weekend. The guy's home was at least $750k. He just went through a divorce. He said "I had to sell my GTR and I'm living paycheck to paycheck." I guess I've always just been a bit more convservative even when I was married and we were making a lot more. I never bought GTR's or expensive homes.

[Blessed]

I'm actually surprised that many people lie, mislead, or otherwise make it seem like they're also in the same financial mess as the people around them. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not at all trying to condescend, judge, or accuse anyone -- I only mean to say that it's unfortunate that doing so would be preferable to sticking out as the "weirdo" who is actually smart with money. Society is strange...

I guess I tend to follow the "stay silent" philosophy when it doesn't seem appropriate to talk about my financial situation. My most common response in conversations where people are talking about the poor shape of their finances is just to mention something along the lines of saying that setting aside some savings every month has prevented alot of problems for me... Just to give a small bit of helpful advice... But as dojo mentioned, alot of times that kind of comment is discounted as fantasy or impossible. They'll say: "Yeah, I wish I could afford to save a couple hundred dollars a month!" .... makes me sigh... I always want to tell them "You can't afford NOT to!!"

I'm one of those that will just let people assume we are just like them. My spouses family knowing we have $ starts wars. It is unfortunate doing the right things makes one a wierdo or causes envy. Too many people dont want to realize the hard work and discipline it took and decide one is just lucky and have bad feeling about it.

[Nika]

It is public knowledge who makes what at my workplace. Most people don't discuss finances though.

But few co-workers I know have money problems... I have trouble being sympathetic because they make more than me and their trouble stem from just doing what they want, not from some disaster.
But they are in a minority. I think most people do fine.

The thing that troubles me, is I can't be open about my progress with my mother.
We are very close in other ways, but when it comes to money, she is of the opinion that money is to be used, not "hoarded". I can't make her see that retirement is a very valid concern.

Back when we were only able to designate 800 a month toward retirement and I was proud enough that I could do that, I shared it with her. She called me irresponsible for doing that, because I could use the money for my family instead. (and it is not like I am pinching pennies or don't do fun things with family) So I would love to share what compounding interest and consistent saving did in just few years, but I think instead of motivating her, it will give her false perception of our situation, because to her those amounts in savings are just unrealistic. (While in reality, they are barely adequate).

[TBH]

I have a few close friends and family members that I discuss money with pretty openly. Usually we stop short of saying "this is our exact income" or "this is our exact net worth." But I can think of several people who know roughly what my finances look like, what my house cost, etc. It's how I learned about money--by talking to people I trusted.

I think I have a bit of a reputation as somebody who likes to geek out about personal finance, so some of my friends ask me questions about the rules for different kinds of retirement accounts, etc. Usually it's a bit vague. We talk about things we're worried about, big investment decisions, whether to buy a different house, whether to take a certain job, what kind of car we can afford--all without naming specific figures, usually. But occasionally we talk about specific numbers.

This forum has been nice for me because I can be more open here. But it also means that I don't like to tell people about this site. For example, I know someone who would LOVE this site. She is good with money, gives great financial advice, and likes helping people sort out money problems. She would add a lot if she were on here. But I don't want to tell her about it because I think she would probably be able to figure out who I am from my posts. If she was on here I would be more self-conscious.

[JulieAlbright]

I don't like to discuss finances in real life because what people mostly want to talk about is buying things - buying a new house, buying a new car etc. We've made some choices where we don't do that and it makes the conversations with people uncomfortable.

DH and I decided years ago that are biggest priority was that we get our kids through an undergraduate degree debt free and to retire comfortably. Because of that, our house isn't the greatest and our cars are old.

Awhile ago we had an incident where somebody had bought a new car (likely on loan but I don't know) and DH made a comment that it was a really nice car and he'd like one of those. The guy said "Well, you earn a lot of money - why not?" and DH gave one of those "Oh my wife won't let me." remarks and everybody laughed and looked at me like I was so terrible for not letting my husband buy a new car.

I waited awhile before talking to my husband about it but it really hurt my feelings to just be thrown under the bus like that. Like I'm some sort of financial shrew of a wife who won't "let" her husband spend money. I finally did talk to him about it and I said it was fine if he didn't want to go into the big justification of we're saving nearly everything extra we can come up with for kid's college and retirement but don't lie about it and say it is all me when it is both of us who agreed to that goal. And if he decided his decision had changed and he wanted a new car more than the savings we do, then he needed to talk to me about it because I'm not his Mother. I don't give him permission or take it away. I'm his partner.

So anyway, we've found it best to just do our thing and remain mostly silent about our reasoning with the people around us. I don't like having to justify myself "Hey, my car is 10 years old but my kid doesn't have student loans!" because those conversations always get turned around into where they assume that since we went one way with our finances we must feel all morally smug and superior to them.

It's easier just to talk about the weather, politics and religion than money.

[stoney508]

In my personal life I don't talk about it to much I may ask if someone has a 401(k) at work or they may ask me and ill tell them but stop short with amounts and % I add unless they are interested in the % that should be saved and I may expand a little. Close freinds and family I may expand a little bit. I have been known to put numbers to my SL amounts and what my payments used to be but I wont necessarily go into what they are at right now I can just keep it known im paying them down and im seeing a little light at the end of the tunnel. My freind just went through a bankruptcy and I tend to stay away from the topic of money his was due to an unexpected tumor and medical bills as well as being laid off for over a year and just starting a new job so no healthcare. If he ever asked for help I would offer him the help but until that time I wouldnt say anything and by help i mean information on what he could do not monetary handouts.

I should also note that I do not have a firm footing on my finaces just yet but it is at its starting point after college.

[bigdaddybus]

I think I have a bit of a reputation as somebody who likes to geek out about personal finance.

Ditto, I have had a few people approach me at work and share their story and ask for my thoughts. I like being looked at as someone who makes smarter than average money choices.

[QuarterMillionMan]

With family and friends I divulge freely though it's not always reciprocal.



With coworkers I'm more discreet. However I'll try get a gauge sometimes by breaking the ice so to speak by asking if someone takes advantage of the company's 4% 401k match (not every does). Or I might ask something like, "With 2013 coming to an end are you maxing out your 401k and/or IRA, or do you have an IRA?" Lots of times I get blank stares like the deer in the headlights look. Then I know to change the subject.

[HappySaver]

With coworkers the less said the better. On a daily basis I am more frugal than my co-workers. They all have smartphones/tablets/go out to lunch regularly, whereas I don't have/do any of those things. Salaries where I work are not very high and I am regularly amazed at how much money they spend "on the little things". However, my husband makes a high salary and we are able to live in a more expensive home than most of my coworkers. When we purchased it, I kept it very low key and mentioned it as little as possible, because I didn't want to draw attention to it.

My family knows our financial details and we know theirs, but my husband's family does not (they do not discuss money). With friends I don't share income, but have no problem discussing what things cost/how we manage and do things.

[rutgers07]

My parents certainly want to know how much I make and how I'm using my money. I'm 28 so I don't tell them anything but they can certainly be overbearing. Every time I see them they ask how I'm doing financially and if I've paid off my car yet. I bring home a good deal more than my friends but would never talk about finances with them. It seems too personal.