Weddings?

[tzsgti]

This one is interesting. I think traditional it used to be more common for the parents to pay for everything. Years ago people got married younger and were less financially stable at that age then someone who is in their late 20s and early 30s. Now its becoming more common for the bride and groom to pay because they are more established and independent.

I have friends in the orthodox Jewish communities where the parents always pay for everything because their kids get married at the ages of 18-21. I also hear of a lot of parents having to take out loans to make weddings for their kids. Most orthodox families have 6-7 kids to marry off so it can get really expensive.

That being said should a parent have to go in debt to make a wedding for their children?
IMO why should a parent who is usually 10-15 years away from retirement go into debt?

But if the parents want to make it their wedding and want to invite all the family friends then they should definitely cover some of it.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Because Hamchan I am not a misogynist (female) but rather if you already have a kid and are getting married in a splashy wedding why not save the money for the kids college? It's one thing to afford everything and be rich, but if you are "saving" $20k for a wedding why not shove the $20k to the college fund or retirement since you already have the kid?

I feel like it's one thing to spend $20k on a wedding, then save for a house, then kid, etc. But if you already have the later responsibilities? Why would you want to pay for something that seems more irrelevant?

[hamchan]

You can be female and have misogynist attitudes, but anyway. Your further explanation makes more sense. Your first comment just kind of sounded like those old people who grumble about a bride wearing white when she has been living with the groom.

[ideasonfinancing]

Whose paying for weddings for their kids and why or why not?

I am not. I am worried enough about paying for college and i'd rather pay for college 100% then give them anything for a wedding. If they don't go to college then trade school or certificate.

This is a very interesting topic for me. For some parents, weddings are the last gift that they can give to their children because it will be the last time one can say that they are still dependent.

I just suggest that you invest on something that will help the couple more like starting a business for them or putting up a savings account for them. College tuition fee is a good choice. It may not be very visible but I think it is more helpful.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I think people should live together before marriage. And I have a friend who waited till marriage for sex but lived with her bf before marriage for a year. So it can also be done if you say living together is "sinful". You can live like roommates to see and be certain. Then if you don't sleep together there is no "sin".

But why would parents want kids to be dependent? Could also be used for a house DP.

[MonkeyMama]

I have two boys so never really thought about it.

For the most part, we don't mind chipping in when we can, but on the flip side, I don't see why a wedding should cost very much. If they are going to chose an extravagant/expensive wedding, then they can figure out how to pay for it.

I think my in-laws paid for the tux rentals and the rehearsal dinner for our wedding - it will be fine and nice to chip in a little bit for the big day - I'd probably lean towards something like that. (In our case, was maybe a couple of hundred dollars at most, but was appreciated. We had a small rehearsal lunch and only needed two tuxes).