Sacrificing for kids

[workinabroad]

It's probably best to ask recent grads and teachers in your area about this. As a recent grad myself, I don't think private school from k-12 is necessary. I went to magnet school for high school and since you would be kicked out for low grades, I had motivation to do well and feel that after that, college was a piece of cake.

I would hate for my parents to have nothing for their retirement. I have plenty of time to make my own money and am going to be finished paying off uni end of this year (graduated in 2011). I didn't know my parents didn't have a college fund for us 3 but I was always steered in the right direction to try for scholarships and jobs that made more than retail or fast food.

I'll admit I was upset that there was no college fund, but when I made my choices which included study abroad, I found ways to make up for it and my parents were still able to offer some assistance to us (1 more to go).

If you won't be able to sustain your current comfortable lifestyle, then don't sacrifice the retirement. [Unless you're filthy rich ^^]

[rennigade]

josephortiz you bring a lot to the table...thanks spambot

[Nutria]

I don't get how people let their kids pick whatever school and take out thousands of dollars of loans and no idea how to pay it back. Or say I figure I'll pay it for them.

Exactly. Our kids are going to the Big State School (because we say so), and they'll have zero or minimal debt when graduating.

[Nutria]

I have to agree with this one. For most people divorce can be bad, but for me as well, financially it was the best thing to happen to me. The first few years it was worse for me, but that quickly flipped and I have never looked back.

Children involved? (That's always a sticky wicket...)

[dawnwes]

Exactly. Our kids are going to the Big State School (because we say so), and they'll have zero or minimal debt when graduating.

We have told our kids we will pay the equivalent of the local 4 year state school, plus transportation and books and fees. That is a 100% college education paid for by us.

However, should they choose to go elsewhere, they need to pay the difference.

[dawnwes]

Absolutely true. Marrying the wrong person is a very costly mistake from a financial standpoint.

And yes, I'm with my first and only spouse, as is my wife. Friday is our 21st anniversary!

Happy Anniversary.

We got married in 1995 also and our 21st is coming up in July.

[dawnwes]

So many people fail to grasp this point.

I went to college from 1982-86. I had numerous friends who were able to work their way through with little to no help from their parents. I also had plenty of friends whose parents were able to pay their way. And this was at a somewhat elite private school. Why? Because back then, it simply wasn't that expensive.

Fast forward 30 years. College costs have risen way faster than inflation or wages. The ability of the average student or average family to afford the average college has faded away. The school that was $7,000/year when I attended is now well over $40,000/year. How could anyone work their way through? Plenty of adults working full time don't earn that much. A college student working part time nights and weekends wouldn't even come close. You need a job just to pay for textbooks costing $150 or $200 each.

Yes there are alternatives like living at home and going to community college and if that's what it takes, by all means, do it, but that isn't what we want for our daughter. We want her to be in the best program she can get into at a school that she likes and feels is a good fit for her. And yes, we're willing to make sacrifices to help her accomplish that, just as my parents sacrificed for my education.

And that may have been more possible for us with one child. But with three, we had to find a way to offer them college we could pay for.

Our local 4 year college is roughly $10K with tuition, books, fees, and transportation while living at home.

We have told them they have that much ($40K) to attend college from US. So, if they do CC first, they could potentially attend an away school the following two years and not have debt, or have less. Or they can find scholarships to cover the rest.

Now, I am currently looking for a job. IF I find one, we will be able to offer more $$ towards college.

My middle son would actually thrive at a small college I think, and that would mean private. Although we are seeing an aptitude for engineering, so we will have to look at that as well.

Thankfully my 2nd and 3rd sons are exactly 4 years apart, so potentially, we could have one at a time attending school.

My oldest is in a fabulous 2 year degree program suited for him and I don't know if there will be more school beyond that for him. It will most likely take him 3-4 years to get through anyway, but he is doing great, and as long as he is moving forward, we are thrilled for him. His program is at the Community College and is only $80 per credit hour for tuition, another $20 or so per credit hour for lab fees. And then there are other fees, but overall, less than $3,000 per year. He lives at home and takes the bus.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We're in the 4 years at a state school boat like Dawnwes. It just seems reasonable. That being said I won't rule out if one kid needs more than others.

My sister has three and two went to public school and one went to private school because he needed the smaller class sizes and attention. Sometimes the best laid plans...