Family Budget - is it really this hard?

[LuckyRobin]

I about fell over on the weekly personal spending amount, not going to lie. My husband's spending money is $100 every six weeks and that's only been a recent implementation. We went for years without a personal allowance so that we could get our debt under control. I don't have spending money myself, but instead have chosen to buy a DVD box set of whatever series I am collecting at the time and a music CD every six weeks, so it's generally less than the $100. Even if you just cut your personal spending money in half, you'd have an additional $320 every four weeks to either save or pay off debt with.

I do think you could probably get your grocery bill down to $450 to $500 (maybe even $400) since your children are both young. I have a family of four (14 and 11 year olds) and we spend an average of $17 a day for food. My son is on the Feingold diet due to allergies to chemicals, preservatives, additives, food colorings, artificial flavors, salicylates, apples, raisins, and grapes. My daughter is prediabetic. This means all our foods are as natural as possible and we can't just skimp on protein. We have meat, poultry or fish at almost every meal. But with careful shopping, meal planning, and organization, we make it work to cut our grocery bill down. (We still eat out sometimes but we have a budget category for that).

As for the health club/gym, what about getting a membership to the YMCA instead? Your gym membership is costing you $2244 a year. A Y membership is usually around $500 or so a year, a savings of over $1700. Our local Y even has a rock climbing wall that goes four stories and none of the gyms in town have that despite their heftier price tags.

[snafu]

13oXXY: I sure hope you are secure at work. I truly believe it's important to 'pay yourself 1st to a savings/emergency fund. Your initial post suggests there is a disconnect in your mind/personal vision between gross income @ $82,000. and $58,800. net. House expenses are approx $2,098 + HELOC. Perhaps take a boxed lunch made from previous night's dinner reallocating $5.x 180 days which is likely healthier; DIY yard care reallocates another $ 40. x 10. It's alarming that you haven't participated in a retirement plan. That would be my second goal.

Your wife can help by taking on the challenge of a menu plan and reducing food costs. Is there anything your wife could do from home to add to income? Perhaps look after another pre schooler or child care for the period from school end to parental return. Someone we know makes an extra dinner every night for a bachelor who lives on her street. It's little work or cost to make an extra portion. It's packed in a microwave safe container ready to pick-up.

Most people who seek ways to reduce costs line by line can usually find reductions and ways to earn more, even if it's short term pain for long term gain. Find nearly free entertainment, use library services, and community events.

[ActYourWage]

It just seems like it shouldn't be this hard. How do others pay for vacations, new cars (ha!), flat screeen TVs, iPhones, ipads, etc.?

You need to establish a plan.
1. Establish emergency fund ($1000)
2. Eliminate credit card debt.
etc.

Google Dave Ramsey for his baby steps.

This is a spending problem, not an income problem.

[MonkeyMama]

.

As for the health club/gym, what about getting a membership to the YMCA instead? Your gym membership is costing you $2244 a year. A Y membership is usually around $500 or so a year, a savings of over $1700. Our local Y even has a rock climbing wall that goes four stories and none of the gyms in town have that despite their heftier price tags.

I totally missed this part when I posted before.

The gym membership is way too much. My own is $15/month. There is certainly plenty of options between a discount gym and paying $187 or so a month. Each is probably one extreme on the spectrum. But if you could cut this down by even $100/month, your savings situation would improve dramatically.

Like I had said - it's not about doing without - it's about finding better bargains.

[13oXXy150urqu33n]

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

It seems everyone is in agreement about where we can cut our spending. Wifey and I have discussed it and will work on our grocery spending and personal spending. Thanks for the advice, as hard as it was to hear.

[skydivingchic]

One other thing I wanted to mention. Budgeting is about prioritizing your spending. It seems this is where you and your wife are really suffering. There are all these things you want - new pavers, a vacation, to eat lunch out frequently, an expensive gym membership, etc, etc. You guys can have anything you want, you just can't get everything you want. So you need to sit down and figure out your priorities. Maybe you really want to keep the gym membership. That's fine, but it means you need to sacrifice in other areas - maybe your personal spending money and groceries. This goes to the point of lunch out costing "only $5". Maybe so, but that $5 per day a few days a week adds up to several hundred a month. If that is your priority, fine, but you need to make sacrifices in other areas.

I mentioned earlier that DBF and I brown bag our lunch nearly every day. I believe the last time I had lunch out during the work week was in April, otherwise I take my breakfast, lunch, and snacks to the office with me. As a reference, our household income is significantly higher than yours and we don't have kids. I don't say that to brag, just trying to point out that brown bagging lunches is a choice we have made because other things are more important to us. I would rather spend my money on vacations and cool experiences than lunch out multiple times per week.

Again, if spending money is your priority, fine, though until the debt is gone this probably needs to be at least cut down. Sacrifices will have to be made somewhere. Sit down with your wife and figure out what your priorities are. Then set up your budget accordingly. Most people, myself included, would not recommend cutting out all unneeded spending, as that is likely to lead to failure. But you have to be realistic about your situation and make some pretty big cuts in order to kill the debt and build a cushion.

Also, a second job for you or a part time job for your wife has been mentioned several times. Keep in mind that we aren't suggesting you guys do this forever. Just until you get the CC, furniture loan, and possibly HELOC paid off. Then, depending on how things have gone, you may want to consider keeping the job until you've built an emergency fund. These are short term sacrifices, not your permanent lifestyle.

In the end, the sacrifices are well worth it. If you put in the effort to get rid of the debt and build a proper emergency fund as well as start savings for thing like car and home maintenance, you will sleep a lot better at night and be far more comfortable.

[riverwed070707]

You've gotten lots of great advice. I'm just curious -- the thing that stood out to be about gas expenses wasn't how much you spend but rather where you live that gas is only $3 a gallon?!

[Petunia 100]

You are paying $187 per month for a gym membership to take your family to the pool and also paying $40 per month for the chemicals of your pool at home. I think I see a way to save some money, how about you? Stay home, enjoy your own pool, invite friends over. If you want to attend some exercise classes, you can find a membership for $25 or so.

[dancinmama]

I agree that you seem to have a spending problem rather than an income problem; but in spite of that, would it be possible for your wife to babysit one or two children at home during the day? I'm not talking about full-on daycare, but maybe someone in the neighborhood or an acquaintance that works part-time might have a need where your wife could provide less expensive babysitting than what day care would cost, yet enough money to make it worth it and put it in SAVINGS.

In addition, you have already been told that your grocery bill is too high and yes, a lot of coupons are for processed food, but many, many of them are for other things that your family uses everyday: laundry products, toothpaste, toothbrushes, Q-tips, deodorant, diapers, household cleaning products, deodorant, razors, shaving cream, toilet paper, paper towels, baggies, etc. Others are for staples: pasta, pasta sauce, sugar, condiments, coffee, tea, etc. If your wife became proficient as using coupons in conjunction with the sales ads from the grocery stores and the major drug chains, you could cut your grocery budget by AT LEAST half if not more.

Another thing that can be done to cut the grocery budget is for your wife to menu plan based on what is on sale each week. If broccoli is on sale, then pull out recipes that have broccoli in them. If broccoli is at a rock bottom price (the cheapest price usually offered), buy extra, blanch some, and freeze for use later when broccoli is at regular price. If chicken is on sale for $.69/lb., buy a lot of chicken and freeze some for later use. If you want pork chops, but pork chops are not on sale - you just don't eat them that week. You wait until pork chops are on sale.

Okay, I think I've made my point.

[wincrasher]

Here is what I think:

Your pocket money is too much. I make 5 times what you do and I don't have that much pocket money.

Where do you get the idea you make alot of money, so you should have luxuries? You obviously don't. Don't see saving for your child's education in your budget. Hopefully you have life insurance somewhere in there. Your food budget is too much. Get on couponmom.com and learn how to stretch you food dollar.

Your housing cost is out of whack for what you are getting. $1500 a month for 1100 square feet? Ridiculous! I pay about that much for a house 4 times as big. You are probably stuck with this considering the market. You have a pool, yet go to the gym to swim?

Your wife does have a full time job - or should have. Managing your household budget. She needs to spend her time maximizing what you get for your dollar. You are doing your part by earning the money. She needs to step up on the other end.

Good luck!

[dawnwes]

This is how I view being a SAHM right now too. I view saving/slashing the budget as my JOB. I could work full time and make $$ but due to a special needs child and some other issues, we feel it is best for me to to be home right now.

So, I spend about 45 min/week clipping coupons (I have a hanging file and just put the whole insert in the file per week, then I print out a list from SouthernSavers.com and clip only those coupons for the wek.)

I combine driving errands.

We have been slashing the budget right and left. We need to find $400/mo more than we were finding.

So, I cut one of the boys' extra curricular activities that they all were begging to quit anyway. That was $75/mo.
I stopped going to the chiropractor, $70/mo., we are cutting our vacations next year, about $300-$400/mo savings. I am also slashing our eating out and grocery budget by at least $100. I also cut Directv, $100/mo.

Total saved cutting the above: About $6,000 or so per year! That will get us into another car much quicker.

For your situation:

Cut your weekly "allowance" money in at least half
Stop the gym/pool membership
Cut the grocery bill by $100 min.
Gift giving can be cut a bit
Look for cable alternatives. We went to Roku boxes and Netflix and HuluPlus

Good luck,

Dawn

Your wife does have a full time job - or should have. Managing your household budget. She needs to spend her time maximizing what you get for your dollar. You are doing your part by earning the money. She needs to step up on the other end.

Good luck!

[mmgarren@yahoo.com]

Your personal expenses for you and your wife is 160 per week. Thats about 15 per cent of your take home income. 160 per week times 4 weeks is $640, more than your food expenses.

[Banimal]

--edited--advice already given.

[Andrew Jackson]

$4530 income
$1266 mortgage
$ 277 home insurance/real estate taxes


1) Mortgage costs. Mortgage and insurance and real estate taxes are 18.8% of gross income. I have no idea how people manage 26%.

I always thought the recommendation was based on net income? Basing it on net puts you at 34%. I noticed though that you do have health insurance and retirement savings deducted from your from your paychecks. So i guess actually you wouldn't want to use net pay either.

[TheMom]

I think rather than just reducing that $80/week of spending on 'stuff', you should break it down. It sounds like it's the misc. fund as well as your personal spending. Bedsheets should come out of a household budget, not personal spending. Clothing needs a budget category, too. Split that $640/month up into different categories first and leave you and your wife $80/month or so for personal spending on things that cant' be easily put somewhere else. DH spends his on the occassional lunch out at work,books, computer things, etc. I spend mine on going out with a friend, a pedicure, etc.

We are older than you and make more than you. I buy nearly all my kids clothes used. If I can, I buy their toys/gifts used. That one is harder as they get older though. DH brings his lunch to work daily. My kids bring their lunch to school daily. Being over 40 does make me entitled to buy everything. I still need to save my money and prioritze things. We've never bought new furniture, except for mattresses.

You'll be much happier in the long run if you can get ahead now.