Small Personal Victory

[am_vanquish]

So I've been trying to delicately offer "saving advice" ( ) to my mom & sister over the last year or so about finances. It's a difficult balance between challenging them & not forcing things on them, but I've had a small series of breakthroughs lately, which started from giving both mom & sis copies of DR's "Total Money Makeover" for xmas. Mom actually took it quite well & used that as motivation for her 2010 New Year's Resolutions.

Anyway, mom calls me last night & was EXTREMELY excited that she was current on all of her regular bills. Although this is standard for most people, it's a HUGE accomplishment for my mother. I can't remember the last time she wasn't paying just enough of her bills to keep things from getting cut off (phone, lights, gas, rent, EVERYTHING). Not only that, she paid everything off with a smaller than usual paycheck - because she just made her first-ever 401k contribution (she's 50 & has no pensions or other personal retirement savings).

Next step --> convincing her that an Emergency Fund works better than the "Pay Day Handyline" (wtf?) that she's apparently been using to get from one payday to the next.

Just needed to share that ...

[Ima saver]

That is great!!

[Broken Arrow]

Terrific! That is indeed an accomplishment worth celebrating!

You know, when I started out, I had tons of debt, and basically $20 in my pocket. Back then, I can still remember that if I could just save up $100, and if I could just get current with my bills, I would simply jump for joy.

Regardless of what anybody else is doing, you're still stuck with your own problems and not theirs.

So, yes, I am very happy to hear that about your mom. Hopefully, this is the beginning of a lasting journey towards a brighter future.

[Beppington]

So I've been trying to delicately offer "saving advice" ( ) to ____ about finances. It's a difficult balance between challenging them & not forcing things on them ...

Ain't that the truth! I guess I'm finding that bad financial habits are just about as hard for people to break as any other bad habit like smoking, over-eating, etc. For somebody who's used to spending every dime (or more!), it seems it's pretty darn hard for them to change that habit. It's extremely frustrating for me since at least two people very close to me do just that.

[Scanner]

It doesn't matter what anybody else is doing because, nobody what anybody else is doing, you're still stuck with your own problems and not theirs.

Ain't that the truth! And anyone should remember, everyone has money problems. Some are just larger than others. . .some are different. Doesn't matter if you make $5000, $50,000 or $500,000/year.

Well. . .except DisneySteve. . .he's like the athletic trainer, most financially fit of savingadvice - he never seems to have any money problems

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Hallelujah! Sounds like a breakthrough.

Ah, I tried to google Pay Day Handyline and came up with this, another frequent topic on savingadvice.com:

Mrs Peggs Handy Line portable clothes dryer outdoor indoor clothes line

[am_vanquish]

Hallelujah! Sounds like a breakthrough.

Ah, I tried to google Pay Day Handyline and came up with this, another frequent topic on savingadvice.com:

Mrs Peggs Handy Line portable clothes dryer outdoor indoor clothes line

Haha, I wish that's what it was. The way she described it to me, I thought it was one of those pay-day advance loans that really tear you apart. I just called the bank & apparently it's actually a revolving personal line of credit that's attached to her checking account as overdraft protection. Every time she overdrafts her checking account, they move $100 from the LOC to the accont to prevent the overdraft fees. Then they charge 11.65% interest on the LOC.

That's not nearly as bad as what I thought she was doing, so I'm kinda split on whether she should use that as her "EF" and pay down other debt, or get a real EF in a regular savings account before focusing on the other debt.

[dmontngrey]

Great job and something definitely to be proud of passing along! Wanna work on my mom next?

Sadly, I had to give up on this quest myself. I was starting to see improvement in my mother until the boyfriend rolled in. Now she barely talks to me anymore. It's a sad, sick situation. Nothing sinister at all, but my mother can't see past what's immediately in front of her. This means she'll pay the bare minimum to stay afloat, while racking up interest charges, late fees, DEBT. I spent two years building up just $1400 in savings for her, only to have her happily blow through it in just three months time. That was the end of it for me and I'm one week free of even checking in on her accounts now. I can't do it anymore - too heartbreaking to see your mother live like that. I don't know what she'll do when she "can't" work anymore - it'll be someone telling her she "deserves" to retire. I see this coming soon. How long til she's homeless?

[LMA]

For some reason when handing out financial advice to family members it turns out into a very delicate situation. I think you have done great and the fact that they have accepted it means you are doing something right.

The best suggestion I can give you is to give your advice in an indirect manner...LEAD BY EXAMPLE. When they see you do it and you are open about it that will speak louder than anything else.

I have learned with my own family members, that if you offer the advice without them being open to it they will resist it. Some people just are not ready for it. For you this might be frustrating because you can see they are doing something wrong and they don't want to change their ways but you cannot force it. With time they will come around if they see your advice is sound and they see you truly care.

Oh yeah...never say "I told you so..." :-)