Too Much Stuff?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Something I have to fight is the mindset that I might need something so I should hang on to any piece of junk or scrap in my house. Also I've had to fight the mindset that I need to hoard food in case of emergency. And I've realized that I don't need to have a car for every purpose.

It's taken a long time but I know that my parents set a very bad example. I think part of it was fear of not having enough. But how do you let go?

I'm trying to get my mom to stop hoarding food. For 2 people they have 1 freezer, 2 refrigerator/freezer combos. My grandmother lives alone and has a refrigerator/freezer and a regular freezer. They hoard food that they cannot eat. I mention the cost and the environmental effects of using so much electric but they justify it by saying that they don't have to shop. But instead they keep shopping.

But how do you stop the hoarding mentality? I can't argue money with my mom she says she has so much $$$ it doesn't matter. Then when I point out the environmental issue, she says everyone else is doing it.

What made you give up hoarding?

[maat55]

I don't hoard because I hate tripping over stuff. I gripe everytime I trip over something of my wifes. If there is a disease for hoarding, my wifes mother has the worst case of it in history. DW keeps a very clean house, but does hang on to a few things.

[ThriftoRama]

In this case it sounds like it's not really about the stuff. It's about feeling secure and safe. For some people, security is a well-stocked pantry. Without it, they feel too vulnerable. There is a deep down "if something goes wrong..." If you were interested in addressing your family's food shopping issues, the right conversation might be "why do you feel so insecure?" Just a thought.


By the way, I too am of the a full pantry equals security school. I've toned it down though.

[ScrimpAndSave]

I saw if it makes your mother feel safe and secure...then I wouldn't mess with her. She's blessed to have food in her fridge(s).

[Caoineag]

I stopped myself from hoarding by hating clutter and waste. If you hate the side effects from hoarding sufficiently, it tends to cure you of wanting to hoard. (I think I was about 17 when that scale tipped in favor of purging items instead of hoarding but before that, I kept everything under the sun).

If you already have a lot of stuff, you might want to consider a trade off. I do 1 item in 1 item out but if you have a lot of stuff do 1 item in, 3 items out. Eventually it will weed down.

[pennrj430]

Get the book It's All Too Much Amazon.com: It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff: Peter Walsh: Books

It teaches you how to break this cycle of hoarding stuff...

[PrincessPerky]

When you find the cure please let me know, my husband is fond of 'stuff' and while he is very wonderful, he also has a garage full of stuff that he wont get rid of, plus he cannot organize even simple things (if you were a screw wouldn't you want to be with other screws?)

However I have to be thankful he isn't as bad as his mother, she never throws anything out and was quite upset at the prospect of me doing so for items stuck in the attic, which are never used..never even touched except when my husband and I dig around to find things for the kids.

She once got SOOO mad at me for giving things to the goodwill, would she rather they sat in a pile collecting dust than went to folks who needed them?

UGH.

Now on the other hand I have a problem with paperwork, I never know what I should keep and what I don't need..and I have often recycled papers that I later had to print out, and kept many I have never looked at.

Back on the original topic, try going 'shopping' for yourself in their fridge..wont stop them but at least you might use some stuff before it gets too frostburned.

[stressedmama]

To help with the to much food in the freezer/pantry...I wasn't as extreme as some are talking about here, but I always seemed to have to much and we ended up throwing out frostburned and expired food. To combat this and to save money on our food bill, I plan meals for the week and ONLY buy stuff for those meals and then buy a couple of items for snacks for the week. I very rarely throw any food away and my grocery and eating out bill has gone down. It was hard not to stockpile food in the freezer, but then I started noticing the difference in my food bill and noticed not having to purge the freezer/pantry for expired food. I hopefully will never go back to being so wasteful.

[LuxLiving]

Go to flylady dot net and get going using her system. It will help you purge a lot of S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun)!

...and pennrj430, I don't need to GET the book. Getting books is part of my hoarding problem! For me it's best to BORROW the book from the library and doing it that way also helps my frugal gene get practice and my wallet some relief!

[meatloafkend]

I am not a hoarder, but I do tend to keep my house full of unnecessary items. I have slowly been weeding out those items so now all of the rooms in my house (except for 3) are clutter-free. The only thing that made me feel better is when I finally cleared one room out, I felt a big relief every time I entered the room. Perhaps if your mom saw how much room she would have without one of her freezers, she would start to turn in your favor.

[Coleroo]

how old is your mom??? is she old enough to where the mentality of the depression era has stayed with her? if so, subconsiously, she may feel the need to protect herself with enough food for survival if the need ever arises again. If that's the case, there is probably not much you can do to stop it since it would be a deeply ingrained emotional need.

I use to be a huge pack rat...not with food, but with "stuff" in general. To me, stuff represented my "past" and it was hard to let go of. I also had "stuff" that i thought i might "need" again one day in the future. I have slowly transitioned out of that!

I don't remember where I read it, but in one organization book, the author mentioned that a good way to remember your "stuff" but not keep it permanently, is to take a picture of it. It was a simple thought, but very profound for me...so I implemented it and have done that with many things now.

Another organizer on HGTV one time said that your past is always your past - your memories will always remain. Who you are today reflects on your past....but you do not have to "keep" your past with you to prove who you are (something I had trouble with). That was another profound statement for me - and it allowed me the freedom to let go of more "stuff".

One last thing I repeat to myself is how easy it is to just buy something i need instead of hoarding junk.

The more stuff I let go of, the more I realized how much I absolutely loved being clutter free..and that feeling propelled me even further towards letting go of my hoarding.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Nope she's 56. I wish the house would burn down. And sometimes I can tell from her voice, she wishes it would as well.

[LuxLiving]

Coleroo, I've used the picture thing as well. It works really well for gift items that just aren't you - take a picture of happy you and the gift item and send a copy to the gift giver along with a big thank you for thinking of you. Then if the item does not fit you or your lifestyle, or home - you can more easily pass the item along to someone who will love it more or donate it to a good cause.

This works better if Aunt Matilda only comes to your house once a century.

[Gruntina]

I used to hoard. I hated it so bad but I had so much junk packed in boxes or hiding behind some closets. I hated waste while knowing someone else can use some of my junk so I would set them aside to donate or sell.

The problem? I would procrastinate on sorting out the stuff to give to friends or goodwill that it started piling up so bad that I got overwhelmed.

I know a lot of you on here will not like what I am going to say...

I overcame the "hating to waste things" by purging things in the garbage to get it out of my site right instantly. The freedom of having less work, dusting, storing and driving on my junk that I could have accumulated overrides my feeling of guilt for wasting junk. For nice things, I do give to goodwill. But I am not going to go to goodwill for only one small item. I can't stand having a collection pile or box just to get enough stuff to donate as that feels like clutter in my small home itself and a constant reminder of a chore yet to come.

I have a habit of tossing things out right away and my home is clutter free. I also often request others not to give me any gifts and spend time together instead as well. Flowers are an exception as I enjoy beautiful fresh flowers in vases in my clutter free home.

[Coleroo]

I have a habit of tossing things out right away and my home is clutter free. I also often request others not to give me any gifts and spend time together instead as well. Flowers are an exception as I enjoy beautiful fresh flowers in vases in my clutter free home.

That sounds just like my mom! Everyone in our family knows that they better not give her something that she "has to keep". Consequently, all of her gifts are edible or disposable. lol Like, for her birthday this past June, I made her a cake. I had a hard time understanding her mindset until I myself got married and started having to "tend a house".