Financial advisor vent

[Kris10Leigh]

My DH and I recently went to our financial advisor and he made me mad! He really did! DH and I have some debt and we were looking for some advice. As we were leaving, he gave it to me!

I work in the schools so I get my summers off. He asked me what I was doing this summer (thiswas back in early June) and I smiled and said "spending it with my children visiting museums, parks and pools!" He said, "Have you thought about summer school?" I said "No way! I enjoy my summers way too much!" He then said that I should really consider it if I want to change my financial state.

I know that he is right! I know that most people would look at my situation and say the same. BUT!!!! I make twice as much as DH and I have had the same job for nine years! (We've been married 8). DH has had about 9 jobs in nine years due mainly to just plain bad luck and he keeps starting over at a beginners salary. Our entire marriage I have taken on flute students which is kind of a part time job. At $30/hr it's not a bad deal and I enjoy it quite a bit! But the fact is, I am the stable one and I have always taken on whatever extra job I could to help out.

My summers are my time to relax with my children and I value that so much! More than anything I want to be a SAHM, but life doesn't allow it! I love to "pretend" to be a SAHM all summer. If I did work extra in the summer, my kids would have to go to daycare, so how much would I really make? All throughout the school year I plan our summer! We have a lot of fun, and most of it is free! Besides that, with me home for the summer, I am saving on the cost of daycare, so that is kind of like having a job, right? That's a savings of $230/wk!

Anyway, just a little vent. I hate feeling like I am the provider. DH hates it too. He just took on a "church gig" which pays well because he doesn't want me to work during the summer either.

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Financial advisor vent

Was your financial advisor a guy? It was a guy, wasn't it? It sounds like something inane us guys would say. Kind of like a long version of, "Honey, can you get me another beer?" without the "Honey, how's your day?" sort of thing.

I'm just kidding around. I'm a guy too. Please don't be mad.

[cashqueen]

Re: Financial advisor vent

I don't think that was a fair statement from a financial advisor. As soon as you said you were spending it with your kids he should have shut his mouth. It's not like you said you'd be lounging around doing nothing but buying things off QVC all day. I bet he has no kids. You can't put a price tag on spending quality time with your children.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Financial advisor vent

Yes please dont be offenened by it most people dont understand working with kids is sometimes next to impossible I mean sounds like you do a great job during the school year dont take his advice to the bank most people also dont understand daycares run so high for anyone you would want to leave the kids with anyways I know I am just checking into it today & for my almost 3yr old they want $20for half days!! SO can imagine what 2 or 3 kids would be fulltime & btw we live where the average starting pay is usually less than $8 an hr dont take a math expert to figure that one out!!
Its pretty screwy!! I am already making plans for my almost 3yr old trying to go about how she can be at daycare the least amount of days!!

[Kris10Leigh]

Re: Financial advisor vent

You guys are funny! Thank you for your comments. They truly made me feel better. I know he didn't mean it this way, but his (yes HIS ) made me feel like I wasn't doing much to help out with the situation. But he wasn't thinking about daycare, and the cost of gas and the fact that when I am at home we eat out much less! Our grocery bill goes down and other expenditures to because I am not too tired to be creative.

I will stop feeling guilty now! I feel very lucky to be able to spend all summer long with my kids!

[boefixepa]

Re: Financial advisor vent

You should be. maybe you do up a little spreadsheet to show how much you are saving by being home and how much you would have to make to justify working and ask him if he know of any temp jobs that pay that for an emploee who wil only be around three months! While you are at it. Show him how much you could save if you were home full time during the school year and then subtract that from your current wage and tell him that's how much you make....all things considered. Make sure to list all the non-monetary benifits of staying home too...Then smile really pretty and batt your eyes and tell him to make sure he considers all sides of his advice as you are paying for it!!!

[katwoman]

Re: Financial advisor vent

As offended as you may be, count yourself lucky......he is a sound advisor. Maybe you didn't appreciate it, but he targeted you because you seem to have the capability to bring in the much needed extra cash.

Not that you don't deserve your summer off! You do! No way I could be a teacher so I completely understand.

My advisor knows my situation, but he, too, asked, "so what are you going to do after your mother passes?" He had a point and it got me going in a direction I might not have if he didn't bring it up. He planted a seed and it took! Now you have almost a whole year for your seed to take.

[Thrifty Ray]

Re: Financial advisor vent

More than likely suggesting teachers take a second job in the summer is as natural to him as telling you to pay off credit card debt. He is offering advice on how to improve a financial situation...and sometimes, having a second job works.

However, spending time with your kids cant be measured in dollars and cents. Even if you could make extra...the kids wont remember a little more in the bank account...but they will remember mom spending time with them and all of the fun things they did with you during their summers.

Appreciate that he was offering ideas...and then enjoy the fact that you are in a position to say- thanks, but no thanks.

(Oh, and good for you for choosing to spend this time with your kids...Obviously, you are a very dedicated mom!!!!)

[shengmei]

Re: Financial advisor vent

I am in the same situation as you (without the kids). I spend my summers doing research for my grad school instead of going to work.

The education you are giving your kids this summer is priceless.

I really hate those comments also. I think you need a new financial advisor.

[baselle]

Re: Financial advisor vent

You guys are funny! Thank you for your comments. They truly made me feel better. I know he didn't mean it this way, but his (yes HIS ) made me feel like I wasn't doing much to help out with the situation. But he wasn't thinking about daycare, and the cost of gas and the fact that when I am at home we eat out much less! Our grocery bill goes down and other expenditures to because I am not too tired to be creative.

I will stop feeling guilty now! I feel very lucky to be able to spend all summer long with my kids!

Hey wait a minute...why can't your DH stay at home with the kids?

[lrjohnson]

Re: Financial advisor vent

You guys are funny! Thank you for your comments. They truly made me feel better. I know he didn't mean it this way, but his (yes HIS ) made me feel like I wasn't doing much to help out with the situation. But he wasn't thinking about daycare, and the cost of gas and the fact that when I am at home we eat out much less! Our grocery bill goes down and other expenditures to because I am not too tired to be creative.

I will stop feeling guilty now! I feel very lucky to be able to spend all summer long with my kids!

I think his idea was a fair one to offer, and I think you were right to reject it. I do think you are taking it a little personally. I would forthrightly say, "No, I've weighed the options and it is very important to me to stay home this summer. We see some savings from me being at home, but primarily, it's very important to me. I'll look at other ways to sacrifice." Firm stand, no apologies.

[neatdesign]

Re: Financial advisor vent

I'm apparently the odd (wo)man out here, because I don't think his suggestion was at all inappropriate. If anything I think it is inappropriate to base criticism of this suggestion on the fact that it was made by a man.

You said in another thread that you and your husband are about $23k in debt and have been that way for 6 years. You have approximately 3 months to spend doing anything you want, including part-time work. You could earn quite a bit during that period without having to sacrifice much time with your kids.

You said you charge $30/hour for private flute lessons. If you had three one-hour lessons per week, for three months, that's about $1200. It's a minimum amount of time to spend doing something you admit you enjoy, and you wouldn't even need to leave your home or put your kids in daycare.

While I don't doubt that you want to spend time with your children during the summer, it also sounds like you resent having to shoulder the financial load in general and, like you said, see the summers as "your time." Please understand I mean no offense by this at all, just thought I'd give an objective perspective based on the information you've provided.

~ Jenney

[Kris10Leigh]

Re: Financial advisor vent

I do feel resentment, you are right. I'm extremely traditional and I wish I could be the traditional housewife, but I am not and I am dealing with that.

I do continue to teach flute lessons. So in actuality, he is asking me to take on a third job....sort of. You are right about doing them out of my home and not needing daycare. I do that already. What he is asking me to do would take me out of the home and the kids would need to go to daycare because DH works all day. Any summer job I would take would not pay enough to make it worth my while given the daycare situation.

As for the comments about him being a man...that was said in jest. I was just playing with the words of another [male] poster. He started it!

I admit I am being overly sensitive about his comments. My family says that too. It's just that there is a history with my DH's jobs that I have not divulged and I feel put-upon. Most people see me as one who doesn't roll over and play dead easily. I am simply not willing to sacrifice time with my children who grow up too quickly as it is. I feel very fortunate to have the full time job I have that allows me so much time with them.

[markio26]

Re: Financial advisor vent

quite a few members of my family of origin are teachers, one is a principal... they usually tutor 3 kids apiece in the summer at $300 a piece for extra bucks and to keep them in the teaching mode.. they work it out around their vacation schedule........just a thought... if the guy offended you, he did, call him back up and tell him how you feel and see what else he can advise to help... i have done this... i fired a financial advisor... later on he had a heart attack because so many ppl. did not profit from his advice... he even advised wrongly on mutual fund purchases, he probably got a kick back... i beat his advice all on my own.. i called him up and asked him why???? he blamed it on his company and their mutual fund selection that he could recommend......hth.

[Ima saver]

Re: Financial advisor vent

To be trueful, i do not believe most of us need a financial advisor. Do some reading. i started with money magazine, Kiplingers, etc. and kept reading until it started making sense. Read some of the financial books, you will soon be able to make your own financial decisions.