Feeling Poor

[boefixepa]

Re: Feeling Poor

I'll quote this from the Complete Tightwad Gazette article entitled "How to avoid feeling deprived"

Quote:

First, recongnize that you are engaging in the discipline out of choice. You decide to give up something so that you can have something else. When you recongnize that you are making a choice, attitudes change form deprivation to empowerment.
Second, as you cut back, give up expenses in the order of the ones that provide the least value for dollars spent. View giving up extras as transferring finds from one area of your life to another. To asses your values, constantly ask yourself if you received sufficient value for the money you spent.
People commonly make the mistake of spending money on smaller items that are low on the their priority list and, as a result, cannot afford the big things high on their list. Real deprivation is not being able to afford the things that are high on your priority list. Think about the trade-offs and redefine deprivation.
Third, do not compare your economic situation to those of others. Wringing your hands over economic inequities merely wastes emotional energy that could be better used in a positive way to achieve your goal. Accept the givens in your situation and work with them.
Likewise, come to equate aspects of fugality (which your culture regards as deprivation) as symbols for past or future achievements. You know within yourself that these symbols represent a larger lifestyle that will enable you to aquire (or have enabled you to acquire) the things that are genuinely important to you.

End Quote.

I often reread this article. These are just sinipts from it, but they remind me why I am doing it and that it is all a matter of perspective and attitude.

[Gruntina]

Re: Feeling Poor

I remember the years when I was a child living only with my mom and we were poor. She had two jobs and could not always make ends meet. We would walk miles everyday for my mom to attend job interviews (Could not afford child care that time) or to get anywhere we needed. I remember getting picked on for not having a variety of clothes or lunch. We moved probably every 2 or 3 months to living at runned down apartments or stay at friend’s house from time to time. You can not live out on the streets in the winter time because it can get negative 20 degrees outside with all the snow.

At the time I looked at things a lot differently.

Seeing my mom trying to hide her sadness, I would see right through her and wanted to help her. One day I made colored bookmarkers and sold them around the neighborhood. I am sure people thought it was cute and paid for them (I was only age 7). I came home with bread, cereal and milk on the table for my mom. I thought it was cool at the time feelings like I knew how to do something and achieved a goal that made me feel proud ... I did not realize till much later how much that hurt my mom. It made her feel like she was a bad mom and I never saw it that way. She was always there for me and we still have the closest relationship.

Now living in the Bay Area, its easy to feel poor because there are so many beautiful houses, cars, business buildings and so on... But I have to remember the years I grew up and knowing I can not complain at all. I live in a small apartment but I am able to make it look like home inside and stay there without worry of moving around so much. There are times I feel disgusted feeling like I have too much when there are people that have no water, food and constantly fighting off fleas or flies.

[markio26]

Re: Feeling Poor

each individual has different feelings on the subject of money... i don't personally feel deprived... i feel sorry for my friends who are heavily in debt and add to it.. i set up myself with guidelines that i follow.. after 21 times of practice enforcing them.. i am on automatic... no sale.... no buy.... it is simple for me... it is other ppl. that i have a hard time with... they want to be like me, but, they have to purchase over $400 a month on ciggies, or beer... the only bad thing for me, that i still use and purchase is soda... it calms me down and perks me up at times... i do drink my water and tea alot.. also, juices and coffee.. i purchase soda when it is on sale for $0.79 a 2 liter... and i use the 20 oz plastic bottles of soda, on sale at set of 6, 5/$10

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Feeling Poor

Wow, Grutina. Reading that just makes me sad. Now that, to me, is the true definition of "poor".

[Bookie]

Re: Feeling Poor

Funny how subjective this topic really is. Back in the days when I still carried my credit cards, I had something of an awakening. I stopped by the mall one evening, bored and vaguely discontent, and wandered around for a while. Finally, I paused under the central rotunda and thought to myself, "I can buy anything -- anything in this entire complex, and there's not a single thing that I want." I left empty-handed.

That was the first time in my life I can recall having nothing to want. It was also the occasion when I recognized that buying was not the solution to my discontents.

Presently, I live on a very modest scale, but I can't say I ever feel poor. See, I've had most of the things that people would consider the appurtences of wealth, or, at least, of affluence, and they didn't work for me. I couldn't charge happiness on a credit card or escape from my troubles by pyramiding stuff. I had to discover what was really important in my life, what I genuinely valued, and what was worth wanting.

Today, I'm rich in time, in friends, in the freedom to live as I choose. Some of those friends are still busily chasing the illusion of affluence, and I understand how that feels. I wish them well, but I neither envy nor imitate them. Actually, I sometimes think they envy me the luxurious simplicity of my life, the ease and comfort of my days. I sleep well at night, awaken eagerly to the new day, and want for nothing.

I guess that makes me rich.

[boefixepa]

Re: Feeling Poor

Way to go bookie!!

[shengmei]

Re: Feeling Poor

I think everybody has different triggers of feeling poor.

I can live with furnitures and clothes from the dump, and I can pretty much do anything without feeling poor. I don't even own a car.

However, I have to have expensive cream on my face and expensive cat food on my shelf. When I run out of those things I feel very poor.

[Ima saver]

Re: Feeling Poor

Bookie, that is kind of the way I feel. I don't spend money on much, but I have a lot of happiness. Just having my little puppy and my dh is all I will ever need. (that and being skinny enough to eat all the fudge i want) I am sorry you had such a hard time gruntina. I was poor as a kid, but always had a roof over my head.

[flash]

Re: Feeling Poor

Emotions don't have to be tied to logic, and often aren't. If you have a feeling of self-worth or get a high out of buying, or have any other emotional need FILLED by purchasing things, then when you need that fix and don't get it, you will be miserable. In contrast, saving gives a different emotional reward.

Feeling poor, or deprived, or not as good, or lacking...figure out what the actual emotion you are feeling, and where it is coming from, can help you understand it.

An example -- some women feel like having a rich husband is their "goal" in life. Not buying some little thing if they are single, or husband isn't rich, remind them that they are inadequate compared to their goals.

If you ALSO have a goal of saving money, and seeing the savings rise, and having yourself invested in that, then you can also have positive feelings when you succeed.

Conflicts...usually.

[starving_student]

Re: Feeling Poor

I feel poor when somebody else has something that I can't afford.

Once I visited my friend, she just came back from shopping and showed me what she bought. She spent over $200 on clothes just for herself. She bought shoes for $30, a shirt for $25, and some other stuff.
Excuse me, but I would never spend $30 for a pair of shoes! It has to be at least 75% off, brand name, and cost no more than $18. Again, this is the same friend that always complains that she doesn't have money. But she always gets a fancy haircut and stuff. Of cource she wouldn't have any money. When she showed me all the stuff she bought, I felt poor, but whenever she complains that she doesn't have any money, I feel rich.

I never paid less than 30$ for a pair of shoes (usually from Zappos brand name on sale at 40$)!!! How can you get away with 18$???? or even less?

[Cashguy]

Re: Feeling Poor

Your feelings and emotions can change often. So, try to work your finances with a plan and purpose. Keeping that in mind will help you get through the times of not really feeling like saving, spending wisely, etc. There is bling, bling all around all of us so all the shiny toys do look great and like a lot of fun. But, there is a price to pay (literally and figuratively) for everything. And, the thrill of these things wears off long before the last payment is due!

+1. Having alot of material stuff does not mean that true content and happiness follows. Jusy stay the course.

[Ima saver]

Re: Feeling Poor

I feel poor having so much money tied up in a house being built, and knowing that we have to spend a lot more to finish it. I miss earning that interest. I think I have talked dh into never building a house this expensive again.(It is a spec house, for sale)