Arguments about money

[Lemony]

Re: Arguments about money

We don't fight about money anymore, now that we have goals and a financial plan laid out. It leaves us more time to fight about everything else

[Ima saver]

Re: Arguments about money

I think it is sad that some of you have to hide money from your spouse. That is the way it was with my first husband. He wanted to spend everything we had. He always wanted to go to the dog track and gamble it all away. He would get mad when I said we could not afford it. After we divorced, he became a very poor person and never owned a home again. He lived with his in laws the rest of his life.

[shengmei]

Re: Arguments about money

If my dh and I fight (which doesn't happen very often) I would rather fight over money than anything else. Fighting over money is preferable if money is the only thing to fight about.

Hopefully money is the last of our problems. I really hope we will never fight over any sort of infidelity by either of us.

[Ima saver]

Re: Arguments about money

Well, my first husband went from being a sucessful builder to becoming a bag boy. That is what happens when people just refuse to learn how to handle their finances. When we split up, we split everything up 50-50! He blew it all the first year or two!

[JoyJoy]

Re: Arguments about money

My husband was a spender when we first met. I was just the opposite. I would cringe when he told me what he paid for something and he would say, "That would blow your mind if you spent that much wouldn't it?" Well we had to sit down and talk about this matter because it is very very stressful when two people are not on the same page in a marriage/relationship. I had to make my concerns known when hubby asked me to marry him because I was relocating in this marriage and didn't want to come here to NY and find myself out in the cold over lack of money or a home to stay in.

Happy to say we got on the same page! I handled the finances and hubby allowed me to work out a plan on Quicken to get rid of our debt. That was eight years ago. Happy to say we were able to pay off his credit cards in November of 2005 and now November of 2006, mine will be paid off as well! We just have our mortgage to concentrate on after this November and savings.

Communication is the key. There will be disagreements; no one is immuned from them. Just have to pray things will work out.

[tgavin71]

Re: Arguments about money

When we first got married my husbands nickname was taxi. He would literally wait for 10 mins to catch a taxi to go two blocks down the road. Would have been quicker to walk and saved $5. He had the money in his pocket and it was burning a hole fast. $5, $10, $20 etc would fall through it faster than in went in. The result of which was a humungous credit card debt.
Me on the other hand had trouble spending money on anything. Never having any when I did I didn't want to let it go.
15 years later we have met in the middle. Our house is no "McMansion" (not sure if you use that term or not). It is small and cosy but it does us. One car. No credit card debt. We eat out and have family weekends away. Thankfully hubby and I think exactly like snoopy. Making memories is more important to us than the car we drive or the clothes we wear. We just got back from a few days up the coast. Memories of which will last a life.

[Ima saver]

Re: Arguments about money

It is much easier to get along when you have your finances in order.

[shengmei]

Re: Arguments about money

Both of us are extremely frugal people, but we still fight about money because we are students and we simply don't make enough money. Costs of attending grad school increase by 20% every year.

We both realize it is a problem, though. Recognizing the problem and not being freaked out about it had been good for our marriage.

[abowers]

Re: Arguments about money

my boyfriend and i are not making the big bucks right now -- we moved here last year so he could get his PhD; I found a job as a preschool teacher until I could get into grad school (which has happened). Luckily he gets a nice stipend from the University -- he pays no tuition and gets a stipend bigger than what I make as a full time preschool teacher.

There is not much to disagree about right now -- we are not making globs of money, so it's obvious that we need to be careful of what we spend it on. We split the bills (Except I've been paying down my undergrad loans since last year, plus I've been making car payments since October, but he contributed the down payment on the car).

He's been saving more than I have been; but he's making more, and has a little less in expenses.

Once we're both done with grad school we'll both be making plenty of money, and we have the same goals so I don't anticipate any problems.

[Ima saver]

Re: Arguments about money

My husband and I have never made big money, but we learned form the beginning, to live on a little less than what we made.

[lrjohnson]

Re: Arguments about money

Very fortunately we rarely (never?) argue about money.

My Partner and I keep our finances separate. We each pay half of household bills. We are both naturally frugal. It's no problem if we don't agree on a particular purchase-we don't split that purchase. He likes to go out to eat more-I'm fine with that because it's his money. I travel more-he doesn't come on all the trips.

We have varied on our income-sometimes he has made a lot more, sometimes it's me. Because we both like living low, neither of us tried to escalate our spending to match out higher income.

[Ima saver]

Re: Arguments about money

WE have never argued about money either. The allowance works out well.

[shengmei]

Re: Arguments about money

Abowers, which university does your husband work for? I am a genetics major in Texas A&M and they don't pay stipends to grad students.

[abowers]

Re: Arguments about money

ShengMei--
My boyfriend is working on his PhD in Plasma Physics at Princeton. He gets ~$26k per year plus they pay for whatever ridiculous figure they are currently charging for tuition. He works at the lab full time over summers and breaks, and part time during the semesters -- it's kind of flexible as he's doing research with his advisor.

I will be going to Rider University for my master's in School Psychology -- my assistantship will involve them paying me a wimpy $8.50/hour full time over the summer, 20 hours during semesters (this is a $1.75/hr pay cut from my job as a preschool teacher); but they will pay for $3500 of tuition each semester. (that's what it costs for 2 courses- At most I'll be taking 4 courses, which is full time) My employer (the preschool) only would have paid for $500-700/academic year toward tuition.

It pays to be in science as opposed to education/social sciences!

[funnyvalentine]

Re: Arguments about money

I have to say that my BF and I, in a year, have never fought about anything, but money wise, we see eye to eye. On our third or fourth date, he asked me if I'd pick up dinner since he was paying for theatre tickets (that were about four times as much) and I was actually relieved because I didn't really want him to pay for everything when we went out. We seem to have found a balanced ground; both of us buy tickets to live music (which we love), I'll make dinner often, and when we go out to dinner, he usually pays. It just seems to work.....