401(k) Withdrawals for Debt & HELOC for Divorce Settlement

[disneysteve]

Sorry for leaping to conclusions. That said, birth control isn't just the woman's responsibility. Condoms are a lot cheaper than child support (and/or legal bills).

I hope both of your friends find their way. Point them toward this group if you think they're actually open to help. Just warn them that they'll get a lot of personal questions and may not like what we have to say.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

His ex was a Hooter's waitress. Extremely attractive. She came across as a fun date, but I wouldn't have married her. I am not casting disparages at the job, I'm just saying there is stereotype that appeared to fit her. That said he dated her for a year, then they were engaged for two years before marriage. With that amount of time, I would have thought the judgement and foresight would have been checked.The "shack-up" is probably a good description of the "baby mama".

The other friend, I don't know much about her other than they were both big church go'ers who dated for a year before marriage, and one day she walked in and said we're done. Luckily there are no kids in his case.

Of course I only hear one side of the story, but neither of them seem to have went into marriage haphazardly.

Sorry but hooter's waitress or no, you live with someone for 1-3 years you KNOW their spending habits. You can't hide it. and I guess people can change overnight. BUT you know their habits and their quirks. You know how they live. Even dating without living together for a year gives you a pretty firm idea of their VALUES. If you can't mesh with them why are you with them?