Unfulfilled potential. I am worth more than this.

[azasugrad]

I am going through life and my business under utilized and with so much more to offer. I wanted to be a dentist, put myself through college. 1 year before graduating I broke my knee and docs proscribed pain pills. This took me down a 9 month path I wasn't prepared for. Addiction had me in its grip and wasn't gonna let go. It was the single hardest thing ive ever done but told myself enough is enough. I got the help I needed to leave that chapter of my life behind and fight forward. I came back graduated magna cum laude gpa 3.8.

Legal consequences of my addiction took a toll and the dentist and most health fields shut the door to opportunity as a result. Discouraged, I continued my job that paid bills going through school,, cleaning pools. one year later, my boss died. With no one to take over, I capitalized on the opportunity and started my own business with the clients he left behind. Within a year, I single handedly taught myself how to run it and tripled the size of the company, rebranded it, marketed it, and now have 4 employees working for me. After taxes are paid, employees are paid, and all cost deducted, I walk away with around 160k. Its not much but a lot more than the average person has.

I could live the rest of my life growing business and live comfortably. I built it, I grew it, and I applied myself to create and extremely successful and profitable business from scratch. The problem? I don't feel fulfilled, I don't feel challenged, I don't feel like my assets are fully utilized. I am a goal oriented, driven, hard working, responsible, and adaptive person. I didn't want this business but I capitalized on the opportunity, applied my skills and ambition, and turned a failing business into a thriving growing one with hopes I could sell and use as stepping stone into next chapter.

It doesn't change the fact that I hate it or that I know my talents and attributes can be applied somewhere they can be used to their full potential. I would be much happier in a different environment getting paid the same but in a way I can feel I'm valued and have fulfillment. I am better than a pool guy, its not for me... My question is, there has to be someone, somewhere who recognizes my ability to face problems, adapt, improvise,think critically, and reinvent current models to not only survive challenges but thrive inspire them. I feel I was blessed with my talents and don't want them wasted.

I have been sober 4 years now, and anyone who knows anything about addiction knows it can be near impossible to beat. I wont take no or accept a bad situation for face value. I will move past and learn. I want this to be appreciated and utilized with the right opportunity. How can I get my story, my personality, out there for someone somewhere seeking a person like myself.

I don't know what I want to do, I don't know where I want to go, I just know every day I'm not using what god gave me, is another day I'm wasting it somewhere it could be utilized and valued. Ideal world? I find the right opportunity, my skills are used, I am challenged, I am fulfilled, I'm appreciated, and I get compensated accordingly. I am lost... I get depressed thinking about the wasted time. Every day I do pools I die inside. Ive been doing it for a few years with no end in sight and it scares me. I am all ears to suggestions. I know others feel the same way, there has to be resources to marry someone like myself to an individual, business, or organization who really needs it.

Your time to read and respond is much appreciated.

[disneysteve]

Welcome to the site. I took the liberty of reformatting your post into readable paragraphs.

I walk away with around 160k. Its not much

You're probably going to get some flack for this comment. If you think 3 times the median income is "not much", that's a bit of an issue. Good for you for being ambitious but don't forget to appreciate the wealth that you've built for yourself.

I don't know what I want to do

I think this really needs to be your initial focus. Perhaps look into working with a career counselor who can help you narrow your search, figure out where your interests lie, and help point you in the right direction.

There are resources for this sort of thing for sure. Join the local Rotary club. Check out if the Small Business Admin. has any sort of seminars going on in your area. See if there are any online forums for business owners in your region.

You're clearly motivated and intelligent and know how to make a bunch of money. You just need to figure out where you want to direct those talents that will have you feel fulfilled and challenged. And, of course, at the end of the day, there's nothing terribly wrong with being the best damn "pool boy" in town. But you need to be happy doing it.

Maybe what you need to do is repeat exactly what you did with the pool business. Find an opportunity and jump on it to build/rebuild some other struggling company. It sounds like you may have enjoyed the building part but the lack of fulfillment came after the success was there and you didn't know what to do next.

[Singuy]

I always see two paths when it comes to having a business. Either grow it until there's no end in sight and build an empire, or grow it to the point of self sustaining so you can retire with a sweet passive income which allows you to do something else..anything else.

Pick your poison. A profitable business is hard to come by and you are in an amazing position vs the average Joe. You can hire a manager and just use the rest of your days going on mission trips, rebuild third world villages, start a fundraiser organization, or however you think would benefit the world.

You can also use the money and free time to go back to school and be the dentist you want to be.

You can save up enough and open up a dental office and hire dentists if you want because with money and time..you can literally do anything.

[disneysteve]

You can also use the money and free time to go back to school and be the dentist you want to be.

Not an option. I think that's part of the problem. The addiction history rules that out.

[rennigade]

Dont feel bad about not being a dentist. Isnt being a dentist one of the most stressful jobs? it was either that or a high suicide rate...not sure why?

[corn18]

Pay someone $80k / year to run the day to day part of your business. Live off the other $80k while you find your next adventure.

What did you end up getting a degree in?

[Captain Save]

I am going through life and my business under utilized and with so much more to offer. I wanted to be a dentist, put myself through college. 1 year before graduating I broke my knee and docs proscribed pain pills. This took me down a 9 month path I wasn't prepared for. Addiction had me in its grip and wasn't gonna let go. It was the single hardest thing ive ever done but told myself enough is enough. I got the help I needed to leave that chapter of my life behind and fight forward. I came back graduated magna cum laude gpa 3.8.

Legal consequences of my addiction took a toll and the dentist and most health fields shut the door to opportunity as a result. Discouraged, I continued my job that paid bills going through school,, cleaning pools. one year later, my boss died. With no one to take over, I capitalized on the opportunity and started my own business with the clients he left behind. Within a year, I single handedly taught myself how to run it and tripled the size of the company, rebranded it, marketed it, and now have 4 employees working for me. After taxes are paid, employees are paid, and all cost deducted, I walk away with around 160k. Its not much but a lot more than the average person has.

I could live the rest of my life growing business and live comfortably. I built it, I grew it, and I applied myself to create and extremely successful and profitable business from scratch. The problem? I don't feel fulfilled, I don't feel challenged, I don't feel like my assets are fully utilized. I am a goal oriented, driven, hard working, responsible, and adaptive person. I didn't want this business but I capitalized on the opportunity, applied my skills and ambition, and turned a failing business into a thriving growing one with hopes I could sell and use as stepping stone into next chapter.

It doesn't change the fact that I hate it or that I know my talents and attributes can be applied somewhere they can be used to their full potential. I would be much happier in a different environment getting paid the same but in a way I can feel I'm valued and have fulfillment. I am better than a pool guy, its not for me... My question is, there has to be someone, somewhere who recognizes my ability to face problems, adapt, improvise,think critically, and reinvent current models to not only survive challenges but thrive inspire them. I feel I was blessed with my talents and don't want them wasted.

I have been sober 4 years now, and anyone who knows anything about addiction knows it can be near impossible to beat. I wont take no or accept a bad situation for face value. I will move past and learn. I want this to be appreciated and utilized with the right opportunity. How can I get my story, my personality, out there for someone somewhere seeking a person like myself.

I don't know what I want to do, I don't know where I want to go, I just know every day I'm not using what god gave me, is another day I'm wasting it somewhere it could be utilized and valued. Ideal world? I find the right opportunity, my skills are used, I am challenged, I am fulfilled, I'm appreciated, and I get compensated accordingly. I am lost... I get depressed thinking about the wasted time. Every day I do pools I die inside. Ive been doing it for a few years with no end in sight and it scares me. I am all ears to suggestions. I know others feel the same way, there has to be resources to marry someone like myself to an individual, business, or organization who really needs it.

Your time to read and respond is much appreciated.

You might not be a pool guy ..but sounds like you're at the very least a good business and maybe just a great marketer. That's a valuable skill.. Are you still cleaning pools or do you have your guys do it? ,,If you were to step away from the actual labor and just focus on growing it .. would you be fulfilled?

[~bs]

i think it's all about finding what you're comfortable with doing and the lifestyle you lead. I do think that drive and the feeling of being "fulfilled" tends to mellow out with age. I was much more driven in my teens and 20s than I am now, and I expect it will continue to mellow as I get older. But if you absolutely hate being the "pool guy", then yeah you should consider doing something else. Unfortunately the drug issue (were you ever arrested?) may hold you back.

Would it have been possible for me to push myself to the limits in a chosen field or business and be retired RIGHT NOW (I'm 35) or become a multimillionaire RIGHT NOW? Yes.

But would that have resulted in additional happiness up to this point and going forward in my life? Probably not. What kind of person would I be if I was sitting alone upon piles of money, constantly stressed out, no hobbies, no vices, and not a pleasant person to be around? I've seen and worked with a fair amount of people that fit this description. They are at the top of their game, but like the saying goes, it's rather lonely at the top... They wield power, money, and influence, so people do tolerate them, but as far as genuinely liking them as a person? Not sure on that one.

Right now I work a 40hour/week job + side business in free time. I probably do 100k-150k/year. If I pushed myself, could I make more money? Yeah, but I'm happy where I'm at now with my unfulfilled potential. If I had additional responsibilities like a stay at home wife and kids, I may feel differently, but for someone who is single, I am comfortable with the status quo.

Just some things for you to think about.

[Gailete]

You're probably going to get some flack for this comment. If you think 3 times the median income is "not much", that's a bit of an issue. Good for you for being ambitious but don't forget to appreciate the wealth that you've built for yourself.

Reading your post makes me sad. DisneySteve is so right your income being 'not much'. Our income is so low it is surprising that we still have a roof over our head. However, with a small income, living in chronic pain myself to the point I can't go out to work or even dream of making your kind of income, I feel blessed. I do something I enjoy, I help people as well, I help support others in third world countries to increase their standards of living, generally giving to help women learn to do jobs that help them leave behind a life of prostitution to being able to support their families by sewing and embroidery. Not bragging on what I am doing, but just trying to say that we all can lend a hand to others to help them up to live a much better life no matter our own circumstances.

What I see in your post is your need to have gratitude for what you do have in your life and what you have made of it. As an RN I do understand the consequences of narcotic addiction in your past to having a job in health care field. You are somehow allowing yourself to be in the position of 'poor me, I'm so unfulfilled' rather than being grateful for a job that brings in a salary that is so much more than most Americans receive. So many have never been able to kick their habits and to be able to come back and even support themselves. If you are grateful now for what you have, I doubt if anything else will make you happy.

One of the first things I thought of when reading your post other than you need to learn to be grateful for what you have, is that you need to do things for others by volunteering in areas that you care about. Hands on volunteering as well as donating part of what you make to help sustain causes that you believe in. You could help defray some of the costs of a day for dentists to give free help to those who would otherwise never receive dental care. You could not only donate, but also help with the organization, right down to hands on taking names, prioritizing the care needed and who needs to see who whether a dentist or the dental hygenist sort of thing. I know that my dentist does this at least once a year. They open their office once a year on a Saturday and give totally free care to those that need it.

You could become a Big Brother. You could help sponsor a youth sports team to two. You could help donate to scholarships to students that need the help to go you college. You could take in an intern each summer to help a student have a chance to learn hands on about running a business.

There are so many things that you could do to give yourself a fulfilled life, but instead of doing them you just are unhappy. You have a business that allows you oodles of money to spend on making your corner of the world a better place and to assist people one on one.

To live a fulfilled life, be grateful for what you do have, and do something for someone else. How much money you make doesn't even enter the equation other than it opens more opportunities.

I have a friend that has driven me faithfully to get an IV every 6 weeks for years now. She couldn't this last time because she and her husband who is an MD were going on a medical mission to the Dominican Republic. Now if there is anyone that should feel the need to stay at home is this guy. According to his docs he should have died about 10 years ago. He has some sort of neurological disease somewhat like Parkinsons, he can barely be understood, he drools, he suffles to walk and needs hands on assist. He can no longer practice here in the states since would anyone here go to a doctor like that? Of course not, but with his wife's help the people in the DR are grateful for a doctor that will come to help them. This isn't his first trip to do this. As long as I have known them they have been doing this 1-2 times a year. If he could tell you, I'm sure he would say that he is grateful for what he still can do in life and that he can help others that are more unfortunate than him.

The only other thing that I can think of is perhaps you need to see a doctor as it sounds like you are suffering from major depression issues.

[snafu]

It occurs to me that a lot of dentists/dental practice groups, have wonderful skills in their specific area but I wonder if their level of business acumen operates their practice at it's optimum level. Since you have earned credentials as a dentist and have experience operating a business, I wonder if it's possible to work up a special, business operating system benefitting dentists and group practice.

Amazingly, a huge percentage of individuals who sell themselves as Financial Experts have very little in the way of credentials [excluding the group who are Certified Financial Planners], they are often skilled salesmen who work a good, 'pitch.'

...just an idle thought

[disneysteve]

Since you have earned credentials as a dentist and have experience operating a business, I wonder if it's possible to work up a special, business operating system benefitting dentists and group practice.

You might even want to look into opening (or buying) a dental practice that you would manage even though you wouldn't be the one doing the actual dental care.

A medical practice I used to work in was sold after I left. The buyer was not a physician. He was an MBA who bought the practice and hired a physician and nurse practitioner to staff it. You could do the same with a dental practice.

[~bs]

I honestly dont think 3x median income is that much for a doctor. Not when you factor in the amount of schooling and tuition costs that is incurred for that income. And the length of time it takes to pay off of those loans, which probably equals an amount someone with just a 4 year degree would take out as a mortgage years earlier than the doctor would be able to.

[disneysteve]

I honestly dont think 3x median income is that much for a doctor.

True, but OP isn't a doctor. He wanted to be a dentist but didn't get to that point. He did go back and finish his undergraduate degree.

So for someone with an undergrad degree, making 160K/year isn't bad at all.

[~bs]

True, but OP isn't a doctor. He wanted to be a dentist but didn't get to that point. He did go back and finish his undergraduate degree.

So for someone with an undergrad degree, making 160K/year isn't bad at all.

Agreed on that point. 160k is probably at least double the median household income (maybe 4x the amount of median personal income) in the US. Good value gotten out of a 4 year degree.

[Gailete]

One of the things I got from this post is something that I find very sad to see, is that the poster is looking to his job and the income that it brings in to make him feel fulfilled. Your fulfillment in life shouldn't have anything to do with your actual job, your pay, or anything external outside of yourself. To be fulfilled, you need to be doing something you love, spend time with friends and family that you love (or at least like), spending your spare time doing things that you love. While you may not always find your 'perfect' job, you can always find something to love about a job. If your absolutely hate your job, quit and go flip burgers until you find something that you can be happy doing. Or if you can't feel like you enjoy it, you can know that you are doing a great service like helping keep the electric on in your city or keeping the sewer from backing up.

This isn't fairy tale talk either. I am, along with hubby, most likely, and I know it isn't a contest, the poorest family on this forum. This year we have zero taxable income. But other than the pain from my arthritis, I enjoy my life. I do things I enjoy, I try to help others within my powers, I try to be as generous as possible. I'm not bragging, just saying I have done just about the whole gamut of work from scrubbing toilets to pay for college, to working at Arby's, to working as a truck stop cashier and then into accounts payable and receivable, to being a certified day care mother for the county, to becoming an RN, being certified in rehab nursing, and working as charge nurse and relief house supervisor. I found something to love about all those jobs. Even the toilet one was fun as I would never know if a friend of mine had gotten into the paper towel dispenser and left me a candy bar and being complimented on the job I was doing by my favorite professor.

If a person can find joy in cleaning bathrooms, it seems that they should be able to find joy in earning good sums of money and using it in ways to help others and themselves to feel fulfilled. The OP stated

I just know every day I'm not using what god gave me,

If he is truly wanting to use what God gave him, may I refer him to Philippians 4:12-13

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

This verse I have learned and applied most of my life. I have much joy in my life. I am thankful for it and for everything I have that makes my life great.

Be Thankful for what you have and what you can do. One of the worst things that has affected out society, is calling Thanksgiving Day, Turkey Day and then to top it off making thousands (millions?) of people have to leave their homes to go and run Christmas shopping sales. Why we as Americans can't stop and take one day out of 365 to be thankful for what they have is very sad. One more generation and they will have no clue what Thanksgiving is supposed to be for.