Ethical dilemmas what would you do?

[QuarterMillionMan]

I received this item and satisfied with it and even wrote a good review thanking the seller for it. But Temu is going by the system which is showing that the item never got delivered. Would you keep the refund or notify Temu that the item was in fact delivered?

[Fishindude77]

Notify them that it was delivered and return the refund.

[disneysteve]

I received this item and satisfied with it and even wrote a good review thanking the seller for it. But Temu is going by the system which is showing that the item never got delivered. Would you keep the refund or notify Temu that the item was in fact delivered?

I can tell you from experience that this is one of those situations that isn't as black and white as it appears. The right thing to do is return the money since you got the item that you paid for. The challenge becomes actually doing that. Even with a US-based major retailer, once they've processed the refund, they sometimes simply have no way to reverse it or accept a payment from you. Given that this is with a Chinese company, I'm willing to bet the same is true. You can try to reach out. I don't know if they have English speaking (and understanding) customer service, but even if they do, they may not have the means to reverse the refund.

I would make the attempt to correct it, but wouldn't waste a ton of my time doing so. If you can't fairly easily find someone who can correct it, consider donating the money to a charity of your choice. Think of it like when you order something online, they send the wrong item, and tell you to keep it rather than sending it back.

[myrdale]

Would you keep the refund or notify Temu that the item was in fact delivered?

I'd ignore it and move on with life.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I unfortunately like myrdale would ignore it. It happened once a neighbor got the box from amazon (not temu) which I had already complained and was upset about and they gave it to us like a week later. I was like huh, why do I have two? Turns out it was tossed next door and the "photo" looked similar enough I couldn't tell and well they just were like um....keep it.

[QuarterMillionMan]

Ok then I'll keep it unless Temu asks for it back. I just ordered more things from Temu and when I clicked "pay now," it first prompted me to check my mailing address because a previous order never got delivered, the $115 power inverter. When I confirmed my correct mailing address which was the same as it always was the order was then executed.

[myrdale]

I unfortunately like myrdale would ignore it.

For me it is the burden and hassle factor. Also it is their system.

Their system is set up so certain boxes must be checked. What ever method of delivery they chose to use did not check all of those boxes. This is arguably better for the consumer than charge first and ship later, and dispute even later than that if not received. You're not responsible for making their system work.

That $115 inverter probably has a net value of $25, maybe even less. Yes Temu lost $115 sale, but they only really lost $25 worth of goods. I am sure they pay customer service to handle such things. How much? $7 per hour in India? Also how much is your time worth? Are you willing to sit on the phone for 15 minutes? Now your $115 inverter is suddenly a $150 due to your time invested in fixing their problems. Even if you just shoot an email to them, that is still some amount of time and effort on your part, which they are not going to refund you for.

If their system allows for packages to be delivered with out charging the customer, sooner or later it will hit their bottom line and they will have to fix it, or go out of business. Or maybe it is so rare, you're just one of the lucky few this happens to.

The closest analogy I can come up with would be walking up to the cashier in Walmart, putting your item in a bag and then saying "have a nice day" without charging you. That feels different.

And keep in mind, there may be other issues in the back ground with their billing which may resolve themselves automatically, where that $115 charge goes through at midnight, three months from now. If that $115 suddenly was deducted from your account, I doubt you would miss it, but there are other people who might. That is the risk of doing nothing I suppose.

[QuarterMillionMan]

Some other ethical issues that crossed my mind. Is it okay to text in a movie theater? Or do you recline your plane seat? Even if the person in front of me reclines, I don't recline my seat but I hate it when the person in front of me reclines their seat. Or what about the passenger on the plane who is listening to music using ear plugs but loud. Once 2 people almost fought about it. Or what about on the roads when someone cuts you off did you flip the bird and reciprocate? I have a pretty cool head and just brush it off. Road rage is not worth it and you never know if the other guy might pull out a gun and shoot me.

[Tabs]

Ok, I guess I’ll play too.

Is it okay to text in a movie theater?

Personally, I do not do it. However, I think it is possible if your screen isn’t too bright and is using dark mode (which I do by default). Most people are bothered by the screen’s brightness, so if you can fix that somehow, I don’t see the problem.

I don't recline my seat but I hate it when the person in front of me reclines their seat.

I am not sure why it should bother you. All of the seats are designed to recline, they recline only slightly, and you basically pay knowing that. The alternative is to buy upgraded seats that give you more space.

Or what about the passenger on the plane who is listening to music using ear plugs but loud.

I always bring my own noise canceling earbuds. The sound from the plane engine is far louder than anybody else’s earbuds imo, and noise cancelling has gotten pretty good at filtering a lot of that out.

Or what about on the roads when someone cuts you off did you flip the bird and reciprocate?

Ok that one would actually bother me, but never enough to do anything about it. If that’s all there is to it, I don’t see that as a problem. At the same time though, the fact that it happened at all means you are dealing with a driver who is experiencing low level road rage, and is willing to physically act on it. Therefore, I give them tons of room and do everything I can not to let it escalate any further than that. Otherwise, I am always armed, and am extremely proficient with firearms, along with other aspects of physical self defense. So, I’m not personally worried either way.

[QuarterMillionMan]

It blows my mind everytime someone says they have a CCL and always armed in public. In California the only time I can have my gun in the car is going to the gun range and it has to be in the trunk and unloaded and in a locked case. And only the bad guys have guns in California. I carry a Taser in my car which is legal but it is no match for a 9 mm. My friend in Florida never leaves home without his concealed carry gun. In California it would be a game changer if I could get a CCL but basically only detectives are granted a CCL. Also, I never leave home without my bodycam but again it's no match vs a Glock.

[myrdale]

Is it okay to text in a movie theater?

Around 2004, as a friend and I were walking across campus I made a bet with him how many people we'd see talking on cell phones walking down the street. He said <10 and I said >20. I won that bet.

A few years later around 2010 I attended the Cedartown Beatdown (MMA fight) which was hosted in a highschool auditorium. With the lights off, I counted about 40 cellphones shining across the court.

This weekend, while waiting on an oil change I was the only person out of maybe 10 who didn't stare at their cell phone for the entire duration of the wait.

Yesterday I heard on the radio that some theaters are now going to allow cell phone use during the movie.

Its a slow infectious creep, but it is growing and getting worse. Obsessions? Idolization? Either way I think it is extremely unhealthy to see a mother and child eating at a restaurant, and for 15 minutes she never acknowledges the child at the table.

Or what about on the roads when someone cuts you off did you flip the bird and reciprocate? I have a pretty cool head and just brush it off. Road rage is not worth it and you never know if the other guy might pull out a gun and shoot me.

Georgia is now a constitutional carry state, I still plan to maintain my Carry Permit even thought I don't typically conceal carry. A couple of years ago, at 4am I had a guy decide to road rage behind me on a two lane road that was under construction. He passed me then parked in the middle of the road and got out and started walking towards my truck. I regretted not having it on my at the time. I passed him and keep going with no further incident. Since then I always keep a loaded firearm in my glove box.

Or do you recline your plane seat? Even if the person in front of me reclines, I don't recline my seat but I hate it when the person in front of me reclines their seat. Or what about the passenger on the plane who is listening to music using ear plugs but loud.

The person in front of me, behind me, and myself all understood when we bought the ticket the approximate conditions of the plane. I have specifically gotten a window seat before to watch the land below only to have the person behind me reach forward and try to close the window.

[disneysteve]

Is it okay to text in a movie theater?

NO

Or do you recline your plane seat?

NO

Or what about the passenger on the plane who is listening to music using ear plugs but loud.

If it's disturbing me, I'll ask them to turn it down, or ask a flight attendant to do so.

Even more common and annoying to me is all of the people who use their cell phones in public without ear buds. Sitting in a doctor's waiting room watching videos on their phone with the volume up for all to hear, and I'm not talking about entertaining a small child. I mean an adult. Or having a phone conversation in public on speaker phone. Those are the folks I just want to slap.

[disneysteve]

I have specifically gotten a window seat before to watch the land below only to have the person behind me reach forward and try to close the window.

Yeah, I'm not having any of that. My window, my decision as to whether the shade is up or down. Personally I only buy aisle seats but if I am stuck by the window for some reason, that shade is under my control.

[QuarterMillionMan]

What about when someone ask to switch seats on a plane. Like for like (ie, aisle for aisle is okay with me), but not aisle (me) for middle (requester).

[myrdale]

What about when someone ask to switch seats on a plane. Like for like (ie, aisle for aisle is okay with me), but not aisle (me) for middle (requester).

A request is a request. Sometimes it's a yes, sometimes it's a no. I am a proponent of Ayn Rand's view of doing whatever is in my best interest. And I never feel guilty about saying no.

If seats were randomly assigned, and I was in an isle seat while a pregnant woman was in the center seat and she wanted to switch, it might be in my best interest to switch so I didn't have to move for her to go to the restroom multiple times on the flight.

If we picked our seats and some guy decided he didn't like his choice and wanted to swap then tough luck. Then again there might be a hot blond on the other side of him that might be the driving force for me accepting the request.

In high school I went on a tour of England/Scottland. No seats were assigned on the tour bus, but where everyone sat on day one, more or less everyone was in the same place on day 5. At a rest stop I tripped and spilled a bottle of Mellow Yellow (I think they actually put yellow paint in it over there) in a seat a woman had sat in for three days. I tried to dry it up, then I took the seat. When she got back on the bus I tried to explain why I was where she was but she was rather aggravated and insisted I move.... so I did. The yellow stain was far worse on her white skirt than my blue jeans.