Just reflecting...

[Thrif-t]

..as I'm sitting on my front porch, feeling a little like Gladys Kravitz, watching the neighbors move their recent college graduates back home. The 3rd one just came back with a truck load of stuff.

I'm thinking you're supposed to be moving out and on with your life after college not coming back home. People have it backwards today. They take student loans to be able to afford going away to school. At least I can say I know this as a sure thing with my neighbors, cause the kids all talk.

I'm far to practical for that. We have so many good Universities within driving distance, in fact, these kids took loans to live 20 minutes away. Oh well, not my business really, like I said just kinda sitting here watching and thinking.

My kids will have a little bit of student loans, less than 10k. I am hoping they live at home for a year to just pay them off and save some money so they can start their life debt free and with a saving account. But who knows who they will hook up with, I hope someone debt free too, but I realize that might be looking for a needle in a haystack now-a-days. Hopefully, they'll all just have good life

[Jluke]

Very odd post. Alternate reality? Different life style?

This may have played out like that back in the 80's and earlier but times have changed.

Are you suggesting they go buy a home with 20% down?

Would you rather see them throw $1000/month away on rent?

Living on/near campus has many advantages and could be well worth the money borrowed for that experience.

[Gailete]

I think the OP was thinking it a bit odd to be taking out thousands in loans for room and board when they are practically going to school across the street from home. We have three universities 20 miles or less from our home and other than the possibility of not being able to get to class due to a blizzard, I would think it much cheaper to have them drive back and forth from home. I certainly would have encouraged my boys to stay home when going to college. My youngest was already out of the house when he went to school and got his AA. The older one started taking classes after getting married and moving a state away so it didn't come up for me.

[Smallsteps]

If anyone has taken a moment and had an "mrs kravitiz " moment you will begin to see many puzzling situations. I listen to co-workers as we have cubicles and some items discussed defy any logic when it comes to money matters and what they are willing to disclose.

I agree that if there are schools close enough to commute, the extra expense of room and board seem like a waste to me but there are so many situations that some people who choose to do things, I would never do.
Then many choose NOT to do very practical things for better finances every day.

[rennigade]

Yeah great idea...miss out on living on your own...making decisions on your own...making new friends...building social skills. Ah yes...everyone should live at home when they're in college if they can to save a few bucks in the grand scheme of things, lol.

[Gailete]

Yeah great idea...miss out on living on your own...making decisions on your own...making new friends...building social skills. Ah yes...everyone should live at home when they're in college if they can to save a few bucks in the grand scheme of things, lol.

Better to miss out on some things, than to graduate with $50K in student loan and the only job you can get with your philosophy degree is a job at McDonald's. Part of that growing up and living on your own is learning just how far a dollar with stretch! Easier to learn that while living at home, than when thrown out on your own to figure it out. Some kids can't handle it while others are more than ready to do so. It depends on the student themselves.

[TexasHusker]

There are different lines of thought on all of this.

We are really encouraging our kids to attend a university at least 250 miles away from home, so that they can spread their wings. There are a lot of life skills learned when you have to start fending for yourself.

Of course, if it was going to saddle us with a lot of debt, we wouldn't do it. We know plenty of parents whose kids live at home and attend local college, and that is just fine, too.

Another thing is their major: My son is planning to major in Aviation and will simultaneously be in flight academy to obtain his Commercial Pilot License - there wasn't a university near us that offered this. He could have obtained a vanilla degree near home, but after four years, he still wouldn't have what is goal is: A degree and commercial pilot license. This is all going to cost mom and dad around $120,000 (gulp), but we can afford it.

Every situation is different.

[disneysteve]

This topic has come up several times before. Some of it is generational. Some of it is economic. There's no easy answer.

I recently read an article about how the number of US teens working summer jobs is at an all-time low. It is no longer the rite of passage that it was when I was growing up in the 80s. It has forced employers who depend on hiring a large number of seasonal workers to literally travel the world to find people to man the shop. Go to the NJ Boardwalk and you'll find the ring toss and the custard stand and the fudge shop staffed by teens not from NJ or Philly or NYC but rather from Bulgaria, South America, and Poland.

As for college, my wife and I are very firm believers in living away. We feel it is a critical part of the college experience and we indoctrinated our daughter from an early age that going to college meant living on campus, even if she went to a local school. Commuting was not an option in our house.

All of that said, I don't think that explains the trend for students to move back home. Yes, student loan burden is a piece of it, but I don't think that's the whole story. When I graduated in 1986, plenty of my friends had 15K or 20K or more of student loans which was equivalent to what kids have today adjusted for inflation.

So what was different? Mindset, for one. Grads today aren't willing to make sacrifices. Kids want to come out and have all of the same amenities that they have at home. And parents feed into that. They don't want to see their precious snowflakes face any adversity. My first apartment was a small studio. No bedroom. No bed. I had a sofa bed that I opened at night and folded up in the morning. The place was infested with roaches. But it was what I could afford at the time and I lived there for 2 years before moving to something a bit nicer.

All of that said, I fully expect our daughter to move back home after college next year, though I would attribute some of that to her own unique issues. She does suffer from some mental health challenges and although she has come a long way with treatment, she still lags behind her peers by a couple of years when it comes to certain social skills and independence issues. She'll get there. It will just take her a little longer than average.

[Fishindude77]

I don't get it?
I was ready to get the heck out of the house and do my own thing at 18. Back under my parents roof was about the last place I wanted to be.

Myself and most of my friends started working and doing something for some income at about 13 years old. In high school, most of us had regular part time jobs with more full time stuff in the summer. Most of us bought our own cars and paid our own insurance.

I suppose college loans were available, but none of my friends had one. Either their parents paid for college or they worked their butts off and paid as they went.

[disneysteve]

I don't get it?
I was ready to get the heck out of the house and do my own thing at 18.

I think the family dynamic has changed. Parents aren't as much authoritarian figures as they used to be and kids aren't as eager to leave as a result. I grew up in the "kids should be seen and not heard" era. That's long gone. Kids are much more integrated into daily life today. We cook together. We travel together. We watch the same shows together. We enjoy each other's company. Why would anyone want to leave that? So I can understand that piece of it.

When I was finishing college, I looked forward to being out on my own, having my own space, doing my own thing. But that's just not the flight path today.

[msomnipotent]

We still have several years before my daughter is ready for college, but I think I would like her to board regardless of where she goes. If she keeps to her current plans, there is a top 10 school for paleontology just 40 miles from our house, but it can take anywhere between 1 to 4 hours to get there. One way. Chicago traffic can be a nightmare. I would like her to experience living with people close to her age as well. She is an only child, so she doesn't have to work to get along with people right now. Thankfully, she isn't a spoiled brat so getting along shouldn't be too hard.

But if our current plans hold up, she won't have a home to come back to. We plan on traveling for a while when my husband retires, which will be right around the time she starts grad school. My husband has a great track record of blowing our plans out of the water, though. If she needed to come back to the nest, she would be welcome to carve out a space in the RV or wherever we wind up at the time. While I couldn't wait to get out of the house and I bought my first place at a young age, I don't see the point in kicking the kids out before they have a decent foundation. And I mean just decent and not, "I have enough cash to buy my own place" kind of foundation. Some struggle is good for a person.

[bjl584]

If I could do it all over again, I would have stayed at home. Went to community college for 2 years, then finished out my degree at a local University. All the while working full time and paying my way through school loan free. That would have taught me a lot more about the real world than moving away from home. Down time at college was spent sleeping in, playing video games, drinking beer, and chasing girls. I would have had my nose to the grindstone if I would have stayed home and had to manage work and school. That's just me though.

[TexasHusker]

There is no absolute right answer to this question, and there is no relational cause and effect that translates into a kid who then lives at home for a while, post graduation.

[disneysteve]

There is no absolute right answer to this question, and there is no relational cause and effect that translates into a kid who then lives at home for a while, post graduation.

Agreed, but it's still an interesting topic because there has been a real, documented trend for college grads to move back home in larger numbers than ever. I've read various articles discussing this and what factors may be driving the trend. Some blame the economy and job market. Some blame helicopter parenting. Some blame spoiled kids. And the truth is probably some combination of all of those things and more.

[Thrif-t]

Hey guys. I know everyone is different. Heck I have a kid who lives at home and commutes and another that lives about an hour away. Here's the thing we saved "some $$" for the kids but not enough to finance living away.

DD 2 was determined she was going away. I told her if she could find a school for the same price as the one down the street I'd consider it. Well she did, by way of the scholarships she got. DD1 didn't want any part of looking at college's when she was in high school, so she ended up going down the street. I just couldn't co-sign for loans for my kids to go to school and saddle them with all that debt, I just couldn't.

My neighbors I know saved NOTHING for their children's educations. It's not any of my business, and I'd never say anything to anyone about what they do in their families, but going away to school is great IF you can afford it. I don't agree with the kids who have ZERO money saved and get loans for it all, when there are cheaper options. 2 of the families did just that. Again not my business but that is why I like this board, I can say what is on my mind.

I just felt bad for the kids watching them move all their stuff back in and think what a drag to have to come back home after being gone for 4 years that's all.