What options do we have regarding my mom

[emanon1501]

My mom lives with my brother in Florida, and I am in Texas. So close, but too far to run over there and help. I have few dilemma and and I am unsure what to do. I realize this may not be the right group to ask, but maybe some will know or can point me to the right group to ask this.

First issue is that my mom is in her 70's and have some kind of dementia and schizophrenia problem. Poor health condition and my brother is having hard time taking care of her. She only has 600 to 700 of income from SSI per month. Owns nothing. We think she should be in some kind of assistance home, but how do we do that? She refuses to accept help, so this will be more of force than asking her.

Second issue is nuts. Just today, her ex-husband is suing her. I dont know how he thinks he can force her to pay. so can they garnish her SSI? Is there a service where my mom and/or my brother can reach out to help her out of this lawsuit with no cost? Her ex husband was not a good man, but so was my mother. Her dementia and schizophrenia made her think she was kicked out of her house. In reality, she left on her own thinking he was out to get her. This was few years ago and she does not know what she is doing anymore. So I suspect he is suing for legal work to divorce her or something. I am waiting for copy of the lawsuit.

Any tip will be appreciated as I am unsure where to start with for lawsuit and getting her the right help regardless what she thinks.

[kork13]

A couple immediate points -- First, SSI can NEVER be garnished, except if she owes money to the federal government (ex: back taxes). And as such, it sounds like your mom is what they call "judgement proof". She has no assets, no income besides her untouchable SSI, so even if a lawsuit against her was successful, there wouldn't be any money for the ex to get anything out of her.

Have she been declared legally incompetent? If the dementia/schizophrenia is bad enough, a judge can decide that she's incapable of safely providing for herself. This would require having someone there to serve as a guardian for her (your brother perhaps?) to make legal decisions on her behalf. If that were to occur, he could get her moved into an assisted living home, though given her non-existent income/assets, it would almost certainly be a Medicare-/Medicaid-funded home, which aren't exactly known for their high standards of care. Nonetheless, that likely would end up being the best option, if she can't care for herself & you/your brother aren't able to either.

Realistically, this is basically a no-win situation. It's going to be emotionally draining... just do the best that you can.

[emanon1501]

Have she been declared legally incompetent? If the dementia/schizophrenia is bad enough, a judge can decide that she's incapable of safely providing for herself. This would require having someone there to serve as a guardian for her (your brother perhaps?) to make legal decisions on her behalf. If that were to occur, he could get her moved into an assisted living home, though given her non-existent income/assets, it would almost certainly be a Medicare-/Medicaid-funded home, which aren't exactly known for their high standards of care. Nonetheless, that likely would end up being the best option, if she can't care for herself & you/your brother aren't able to either.

Thank you. I thought that she would be somewhat protected due to her current financial state. if one of us take guardianship, will we get stuck with any future medical bills or something like that? She has ton of debts especially medical bills. She goes to ER just about everyday for something that she did not need to go.

[TexasHusker]

I would accompany your mother to an geriatric internist and/or psychiatrist to get a firm diagnosis before I did anything else. Depending on that, you or your brother need to have power of attorney for all of her affairs. If she is mentally compromised, you need this now. After that is obtained, then you can start making the big decisions. I would be looking at facilities for dementia ASAP.