Should I have done this?

[DaveInPgh]

Don't second guess yourself.

This.

[Fishindude77]

I think you did something very nice there. Don't do this stuff to the point of getting yourself in financial hot water, but kudos for this one.

[amastewa93]

I would have helped her by getting her a decent meal. A little more than that would be overkill for me since I don't have that much to spare.

[97guns]

I would have helped her by getting her a decent meal. A little more than that would be overkill for me since I don't have that much to spare.

i would have gone this route as well. most all the pan handlers i see here in california are not that bad off, i tried giving a loaf of bread and pack of bolongny to a guy in front of a grocery store begging for money and he declined my offer, wasnt good enough for him.

[snafu]

What you did was incredibly kind. I doubt i would have been so generous seeing her in possession of card after card after card, all declined. It speaks volumes about someone whose finances are totally wrecked but once again enabled by the kindness of a stranger like you. I see it as more generous than your finances allow.

I suggest you create a planned 'giving,' donating dollars to where you feel they will be well used and donating time to a worthwhile agency like a shift at the Food Bank in your community.

I wish folks would check on how their donations are parsed-out by different agencies. We've some type of Cancer walk/run nearly weekly each fall and on examination, it's clear in spite of volunteer hours, the majority of sums raised goes to the PR firm and advertising agencies. The percentage that goes to the worthy cause is paltry.

[DaveInPgh]

I would have helped her by getting her a decent meal. A little more than that would be overkill for me since I don't have that much to spare.

i would have gone this route as well. most all the pan handlers i see here in california are not that bad off, i tried giving a loaf of bread and pack of bolongny to a guy in front of a grocery store begging for money and he declined my offer, wasnt good enough for him.

Although these are very nice gestures, I don't think they are fitting for the situation that HundredK encountered. The woman was not outside the store begging. Had he not paid for her groceries, I suspect she would have embarrassingly apologized to the cashier and made a quick exit for the door. I also doubt she would have stood there and waited as the cashier voided her transaction and rang up his, so he could take her to Denny's for a Grand Slam.

[97guns]

Although these are very nice gestures, I don't think they are fitting for the situation that HundredK encountered. The woman was not outside the store begging. Had he not paid for her groceries, I suspect she would have embarrassingly apologized to the cashier and made a quick exit for the door. I also doubt she would have stood there and waited as the cashier voided her transaction and rang up his, so he could take her to Denny's for a Grand Slam.

in this scenaio it would have gone on ignore for me, sure she wasnt begging but i can guarantee one of those declined debit cards was an EBT food stamp card and possibly all 3 declined cards were EBT handout cards. i know and see these types too often, this is why she had a $100 grocery tab, they have absokutly no value of money when its free money

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Very kind. But if you are in financial hardship try donating time somewhere. Honestly it'll do a lot of good and make you feel good too.

[Eagle]

So, it has occurred to me lately that one of my issues with spending is that I am too generous to others. Especially to those I feel are somehow less fortunate than me. I've really gotten that under control recently, but today there was an interesting situation. I was in the grocery store, and the woman in front of me was trying to pay for her groceries by trying to swipe credit card after credit card and they were all getting declined. I could see her getting embarrassed and more upset each time one was declined, and she looked like she could really use a good meal. She seemed desperate. So I bought her groceries for her, a little less than a hundred dollars.

Now, I'm still in debt, and the money I spent on her groceries will reduce the amount of extra payments I am able to make on debt this month. So, I'm just wondering, what would you all have done? Teach me where my thinking is broken. Should I have done that, or not?

What kind of debt do you have?

This money would've gone to extra payments on your debt?

I've done this in the past when we still had a 0% interest loan on furniture and as we still have our mortgage to pay off. It's very satisfying to see the joy on another person's face when they receive an unexpected gift.

I think as long as you include giving money in your budget and are able to pay your bills doing good deeds such as you mention can be a wonderful thing.

We do try to give towards charities we know where 90-100% of the funds will actually go towards helping people in need.

Do keep in mind that some people try to game the system by selling their groceries to others for cash to support their addictions or vices. Then at the end of the month they don't have enough to buy groceries for their own family. It's fraudulent and should be discouraged.

[HundredK]

I want to thank you all for your responses. I think each and every one of you had really good input that I can take to heart.

I do have a history of giving more to those that I view as less fortunate than me, and I hadn't done that in a long time which is why it worried me that I felt compelled to do it now. I didn't want it to be a bad habit starting up again.

But I think what many of you voiced that sometimes doing a nice thing for someone is just what you need to do is kind of what happened here. I also agree that it's something I need to keep an eye on to not go overboard with. I like the idea of it being my Q4 good deed. And whoever said that you give and you get was right - I was buying coffee on my way to a work meeting today and the person in front of me bought my coffee for me! Woo! I also agree that I could look into doing some volunteer work, though time is a bit tight for me as I try to work to obtain extra income to pay down debt.

As for those people who scam the system, I don't know why, but that's never really bothered me a huge deal. I always figure that those are people who probably couldn't function in the workforce anyhow. I've spent plenty of time in places like San Francisco, so I know how the beggars there can be. Strung out on drugs, hopeless, it's not good. I once witnessed a homeless guy dying from a heroin overdose, and you can pretty much walk down the wrong street and see them shooting up in the streets. It's really really sad. I have a firm rule of not giving beggars anything, but every now and then my heart breaks for someone who isn't asking for a dime and I am compelled to help.

I actually am quite prudent about the majority of our donations. We've stopped donating much at all while we pay off our debt, but when I do, I typically make sure it goes to a tax exempt org just so I can get the writeoff. That said, I have worked with charities in the past, and let me tell you, it's disappointing how many handle their finances. All is not what it seems with many of these orgs.

Anyway, sorry for the super long response, I just wanted to genuinely thank you all. This has given me a ton to consider.