Death and Dying

[clatoden99]

What are the most difficult things to deal with as a dependent/beneficiary when a loved one dies (besides obvious emotional grief)?

And is there anything I can reasonably do now to make any of those things easier? Not anticipating dying soon, just want to know.

[bjl584]

I think it really depends.

The more prepared that you are, the easier it will be for your loved ones.

All important paperwork, passwords, and contact info should be easily accessible and in one location like a lockbox or safe.

Life insurance or access to finances for funeral costs should be a priority.

A will and trust should be in existence.

[Fishindude77]

Having a funeral all prearranged and paid for is a big load off of the heirs, as is having a good will.

[97guns]

My mom has all arrangements made for herself, even has the clothes she wants to be wearing boxed up, I hate the thought of it all but it puts her mind at ease I guess

[FrugalFish]

This may be a little different direction than you had meant, and end up sounding like an extension of the decluttering thread, but...

Dealing with all their possessions and maybe trying to figure out what was important to them and what was just there. I've had a few people tell me that they were so overwhelmed by having to deal with a relatives possessions (especially while feeling grief) that they just rented a roll-off and tossed everything it in indiscriminately.

If you keep only the things most dear to you, or important, it will make their lives much easier during a difficult time. Even if they end up throwing a lot out, anything important/valuable- that you may have wanted someone else to have- will stand out much more readily.

[corn18]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately because of my heart attack(s) last year. Here's what I have done:

1. Will, trust, power of attorney, health care power of attorney and DNR stuff all in place. I keep them in the fireproof, waterproof, bolted to the floor (but 6" off the floor) 10 cu ft safe. Along with this are all passports, birth certificates, titles, social security cards, marriage certificates, life insurance policies. All of these things are in the "book". I have a book and my wife has a book.
2. Wrote a document titled "Tom's dead, now what?" and put it in the "book". This outlines, step by step, what she should do if I die. All account numbers, passwords, etc.. are in this document. I also tested all the phone numbers to make sure I gave her the correct ones, especially for my pension, social security and life insurance.
3. I greatly simplified my finances. I had money spread all over kingdom come taking advantage of sign up bonuses and 1% interest rates. Had I died, my wife would have had a terrible time getting it all back to our main bank. So now I keep the EF and all short term savings in a single account making .2% interest. There is enough in there to cover all expenses for a year or so. She knows this and is very comforted by the fact that she doesn't have to worry about money to survive while the pension and SS get figured out.
4. I auto pay 95% of the bills. I put a list of these in the book. This way she doesn't have to worry about the electric getting shut off

There are others but I can't remember them right now.

Tom

[snafu]

It's incredibly important for all parents to have a will, an advanced care directive and a living, revokable trust. During a time of emotional upheaval there is so much opportunity for muddle, disagreements, expensive mistakes and downright rip off of those who love you. Someone you trust needs to have a copy or at the very least know exactly where you keep those documents and list of passwords.

Every bank account, retirement, taxable account needs a beneficiary and their contact information. The process of going through my mom's personal effects and memorabilia was so painful it's enough for me to suggest we all clear out excess and not hide money in books and obscure places.

[Like2Plan]

What are the most difficult things to deal with as a dependent/beneficiary when a loved one dies (besides obvious emotional grief)?

And is there anything I can reasonably do now to make any of those things easier? Not anticipating dying soon, just want to know.

I decided to streamline everything in our household so that it would be easier for me to manage ongoing and also it in the event that I predecease DH--I want him to be able to get his hands on our assets --and be able to pay the bills. With every company pushing to go electronic, it could be a real problem just to find the bills.

I sold almost all the individual stocks we owned and put the proceeds into a target fund. I did this in 2010--at the time I sold there weren't a lot of gains. The stocks were "uncovered" stocks which means I had to keep track of the basis. Even though I kept all the paperwork, it would have been a headache for DH to deal with. This is one thing I thank myself for doing every tax season. It made things soooo much easier for me.

I bought a book called, "Get It Together". I have been working though the steps outlined in the book. This is book is really helpful in reminding you of stuff that needs to be done to organize everything.

Last year DH and I updated our wills. I have been working on making sure all our assets are set up TOD (transfer on death). Also, I am making sure there are primary and contingent beneficiaries set up on everything. That way they don't have to go through probate. We still have a couple of things we have to fix.

I have also closed out accounts which have not been used very much. For example, DH had a credit union account that we didn't use much and was a pain to keep up with it.