Vulnerable family members

[ua_guy]

For those following the story, this is about my birth mom who I met last year for the first time since being adopted at birth. I feel a connection with her and I worry...she's in very poor health, has no money. SSDI pays for her to be in a (not very nice) assisted living facility. It's a heavy weight on my shoulders to see her like this, to know I'm related to someone by blood and to see them suffer.

Her finances are a complete disaster. I've broached a discussion with her that she might need someone to step in and help her manage things. The facility that takes care of her has somehow become the payee on her SSDI checks (I'm guessing she wasn't paying them?). I thought her daughter (my half sibling) was overseeing and helping her, but it turns out she's in deep financial trouble and really has no clue. My mother has nobody to care for her. The only other family member she really had contact with was her mother. I will be accompanying my mom to her mother's funeral this weekend. It will be the most awkward thing I will ever do, but she needs someone to be there with her.

I will not (can not) give her money, and do not want to accept liability for her current financial situation. But she needs someone with a power of attorney (is that the right concept?) to help her sort through this situation with the facility, come up with a budget, make sure bills get paid, be part of discussions and decisions about her care.

I say she's 'vulnerable' because I feel like she's heading down a path of homelessness, and she's told me she just wants to die. She has no support.

Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? What are the different concepts needed to transfer control of finances? I've promised her we will talk through things this weekend, which I hope will get the ball rolling. If she is to inherit anything from her mother, which probably won't be much, I want to help that go as far as possible for her.

[97guns]

Look into a state sponsored living facility

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Your B-mother could sign a permission directing the facility to release info to you. But I think will will find out that it is standard for the facility to be payee on the SSDI. They might be giving her a pittance out of the check for personal spending, an amount that would be the same every month. Assisted living likely costs far morethan her SSDI check.

(It might be, too, that if she had SSDI prior to assisted living, that she already had a payee. Sometimes, the disability which qualifies one for SSDI means that one is not considered competent to responsibly receive and use the check.)

Sorry about the depression. That could be a gnarly subject. Do you know whether she has only been depressed since she moved to assisted living?

[ua_guy]

Look into a state sponsored living facility

That's what she's in. I need to discover more about how they became the payee on her SSDI checks. I believe Medicaid should be paying for her stay, but this is a whole ball of wax I've never had to deal with before.

This Thanksgiving I specifically called my mother (the mother that raised me) to tell her how thankful I was that her and my dad did good things like save for retirement, and are taking good care of themselves. They're happy, healthy, and are financially sound. That's something that I think I just accepted as normal and kind of took for granted, and now I realize how lucky I am (and how well off they really are, in comparison).

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Medicaid might be paying for any medical things, but if she has housing, food, and non-medical services, I don't know how much of them medicaid would pay.

Basic rent and utilities still need to be paid even if she has only minimal medical needs which I assume is the case since you say she is in assisted living rather than a nursing home. Or were you just speaking in sort of a generic way?

By the way, it might be Medicare she has since she is disabled, and also she might be over 65. She might even have both, or some non-medicaid state (as as opposed to federal) aid....These kinds of facilities are expensive.

If you get involved, you might be learning a lot(!), and some of what you learn about how things are paid for can change year to year, as federal and state laws and their execution changes.

[creditcardfree]

Yes, a power of attorney could be very helpful. I wonder if you have a legal aid in your/her city that you could visit together to get a document together.

My husband and I each have one for each other. I need primarily if he is out of the country and I need to conduct business for him. The powers can be limited to certain types of transactions. Ours are pretty all encompassing, which could actually be a very bad thing if one of us were to take advantage of the other.

[ua_guy]

Medicaid might be paying for any medical things, but if she has housing, food, and non-medical services, I don't know how much of them medicaid would pay.

Basic rent and utilities still need to be paid even if she has only minimal medical needs which I assume is the case since you say she is in assisted living rather than a nursing home. Or were you just speaking in sort of a generic way?

By the way, it might be Medicare she has since she is disabled, and also she might be over 65. She might even have both, or some non-medicaid state (as as opposed to federal) aid....These kinds of facilities are expensive.

If you get involved, you might be learning a lot(!), and some of what you learn about how things are paid for can change year to year, as federal and state laws and their execution changes.

Thank you Joan...I think I am in for a crash course. She is 54 years old...not sure what coverage she has exactly between Medicare and Medicaid. I believe her situation is specifically "assisted living" versus more involved care. She lives on-site at the facility and they do both types of care.

[FLA]

Medicare does not pay for assisted living. Medicaid will pay for assisted living under certain circumstances in an assisted living that accepts Medicaid. Finding this facility and actually ever getting to the top of the list to get an apt is the Holy Grail. We have one assisted living facility that takes Medicaid in two cities. Medicaid will cover nursing homes, but she has to qualify for needing one. Maybe she has a Medicaid case worker assigned to her who could help with this stuff?

I have had patients who had no one to help with finances and they received a person to act as POA from a judge, but this is rare.

I should have more advice for you since I saw patients like this for two decades, I'll talk to my social worker peeps and see if I can get better advice. I'm sorry you are in this position.

[QuarterMillionMan]

How involved are you willing to commit? On one end of the spectrum if you intend to become fully involved you could petition the courts to become her legal guardian or conservator. On the other end you could ask the local government to take over. Here in Los Angeles the Office of the Public Guardian would take on that role;

http://dmh.lacounty.gov/wps/portal/dmh/!ut/p/c4/04_SB8K8xLLM9MSSzPy8xBz9CP0os3hXAwMDd3-3YCN3YzdHA09XF-MQvwATQ2c3M_2CbEdFAHrD3ww!/

ABOUT PUBLIC GUARDIAN
The Public Guardian provides a vital service to persons unable to properly care for themselves or who are unable to manage their finances. The service is provided through a legal process known as conservatorship. Persons in need of conservatorship are physically or mentally disabled to the point where they cannot utilize community services and resources. They usually have no family or friends able or willing to help.

The Los Angeles County Office of the Public Guardian was established in 1945 - the first in the state. Initially, the primary responsibility was for the finances of persons civilly committed to psychiatric facilities. As society evolved and the laws changed to meet new social challenges, the role of the Public Guardian broadened to include more responsibility for the care of the individual. The landmark LPS Act of 1969 and subsequent changes to the Probate Code meant that the Public Guardian became the substitute decision maker for vulnerable populations of the county, such as the frail elderly and persons with serious mental illness.

The Los Angeles County Office of the Public Guardian is organizationally located within the Department of Mental Health. Dr. Marvin Southard, Director of the Department of Mental Health has been appointed by the Board of Supervisors as the Public Guardian and County Conservatorship Investigator. Office of the Public Guardian operations is managed by Deputy Director Connie D. Draxler.