What is a small wedding?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

In line with the recent question about paying for weddings of offspring, what do you think is a small wedding?

I'm chuckling as I ask because my son and his fiance told me they want a "small wedding". Last I heard, that needs to include about 100 people from her family. I don't think our families have had 100 people in the last four generations. I knew she had a large extended family, very much accustomed to getting together. Even without big occasions they have one or two well-attended reunions per year, so yes they'd want to be there for the wedding. My son has been attending those reunions for four or five years, so they do know them as a couple.

[bjl584]

I recently got engaged. We're not having a wedding at all. Justice of the peace then straight to a honeymoon. Total cost will be about $2000. I figure that's about as small as it can get.

[LittleMissSplendid]

I would say a small wedding is 30-50 people including the bride, groom, and the bridal/groom parties if those are to be had. From what I've observed weddings get larger because people insist on inviting extended family, coworkers, acquaintances, not so close friends, parent's friends, etc. I'll admit I don't see the point in inviting all of those extra people. If you want them to be aware of your major life change you could just send them a holiday card and mention the news and include a photo.

I've also heard of people doing immediate family only weddings which are often 20 people or less and then they do a larger reception or no reception at all. This seems like the perfect option for a couple with limited financial resources.

[ua_guy]

I've felt that small weddings are typically on the level of 25-30 people--immediate family and closest friends, usually with a pre-defined budget.

I'm getting married to my partner of 12 years. The marriage is happening before a judge with two witnesses present - my parents. We may elect to have a small reception/party down the line and we'll probably keep it to about 25 people. Not for lack of resources, but we're just not into big/fancy events, and, we've already pretty much been married for at least the last 10 years, so all of this is mostly a formality and to appease family members that want us to adhere to their traditions.

[snafu]

Perhaps it's more choice of terminology. Wedding planners seems to call a guest list that numbers about 100, a 'small' wedding, considering they are paid a percentage of sums spent for outfits, venues, invitations, transportation, flowers, food, cake, tables, chairs, liquor, decor, music, other sound system, late night snacks, choreography, photography, entertainment, mementoes and anything else the couple and their parents want.

Smaller groups seem termed 'intimate' weddings, Usually planned and executed by principals [family & friends]. In some really large extended families everyone is invited to the wedding ceremony and dance/reception where tickets are used for alcohol but finger food/snacks, sweets and wedding cake is offered. Dinner and photography is limited to bridal party, clergy and immediate family.

[rob62521]

To me, small wedding would be less than 50 guests in all, and that would be a simple ceremony and punch and cake at the reception.

[kork13]

I would call my wedding itself a small one... It was basically my immediate family & grandparents, her immediate family & a grandmother, plus some of our closest friends. In total, I think we had perhaps 30 people. We held a dinner reception in a local restaurant, and that was it.

To satisfy our extended family's desire to make a big to-do of it, though, we did hold 2 larger open-house "receptions", at our home & my wife's family home. Again, rather simple & informal, though at those we had a total of probably 150 family & friends who all stopped by.

[disneysteve]

As with many things, "small" is a relative term. If your definition of a "large" wedding is 250-300 people, then yes, 100 people would be a "small" wedding. On the other hand, if your definition of "large" is 100 people then you might think "small" means 40 or 50 people. Neither mindset is wrong.

Personally, I think 100 people is a nice size. Enough to have some variety of people and relationships represented without being overwhelming.

One thing DW and I discovered during our wedding planning was how very different 2 families can be structured as far as extended family is concerned. On my side, I had tons of cousins, all of whom I was pretty close to. On her side, there were far fewer cousins. So if we decided to cut the list at a certain relationship level (1st cousins, for example) it resulted in a very unbalanced list. The other problem is that I'm the youngest of my generation. Some of my first cousins have children my age, so I'm close to all of them and wanted them invited too. It was tough to resolve all of that.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I had 55 and was told that was small. I feel small is less than 30. I was smaller but midsize. Midsize is up to 100. Then above that is getting large midsize and large above 150.

Bjl congrats on the engagement. I did the justice of the peace and a wedding a year later.

[Thrif-t]

Well as someone who had 400 people at her wedding, 100 is small to me. I have a big Italian family and so does DH. We only went to 1st cousins. Of course my parents had a ton of friends that they invited too. And DH and I did get carried away inviting our sorority and fraternity friends. I don't think my kids will have weddings this big, our family has split up because we just got too big, and its way too expensive now!!

And really things have gotten a lot more expensive. DH and I both were able to work and pay for our college and we saved for our wedding. Kids today can no way work and pay for a 4 year college education and then a wedding on top or it. Prices have just risen to much on these things.

[FelicitaHarper]

You can have small but weddings even at a less budget by spending smartly and on the right things, all we have to do is plan properly and be reasonable with our requirements like choosing nice venues such as wedding venue South Florida , and having a well planned menu to avoid food wastage etc. Conducting the wedding on off seasons will also earn you some discounts from the vendors, and taking all these factors into account you can have a wedding at around $4500-5000.

[TexasHusker]

a "small" wedding is a very relative term. To the bride's parents, that means a few witnesses at the Justice of the Peace Office. To the bride, that means fewer than 6 bridesmades, and an economy rehearsal dinner at the local country club.

[FLA]

my brother is having a 50 person wedding in June. To save money, it is at her parents' B&B thus necessitating the small guest list. Family are only invited to the aunt/uncle level and then only very closest friends. No wedding party. It will be fun but to be honest it would be more fun with some of the guests they were not able to include. But it's about the vow, not the party, right?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

a "small" wedding is a very relative term. To the bride's parents, that means a few witnesses at the Justice of the Peace Office. To the bride, that means fewer than 6 bridesmades, and an economy rehearsal dinner at the local country club.

Are you joking Texas Husker? Having been a bride, I can assure you that that kind of wedding is not my definition of small wedding.

[Like2Plan]

Joan,
I noticed the date of your initial post on this thread was almost a year ago. I was wondering if the event has taken place?