My mom stole my money

[AbbyD]

My mom stole my money and I don't know what to do about it. My mom and my dad are divorced. My dad set up a fund for me to help pay for my college when I go next year. There was over $10,000 in it that both my dad and I had added to it over the years.

I made a deposit last week and when I looked at the balance, all it had in it was the recent deposit. All the other money was gone!! When I asked, the teller said that my mom had removed it. She was on the account because when it was created, I was too young to create one only for me, and my parents don't get along and I don't see my dad often, so my mom was on the account.

I confronted her and she said she needed the money to pay for bills because my dad hadn't paid child support. She says if I need the money from college, I need to get it from my dad since he isn't paying what he should. That was my money, not hers. Is there anything I can do about it?

[lorraineb]

This is a terrible situation the way you have described it. Morally, if the money was for you and for your college, your mom shouldn't have touched it. Legally, she had the right to access the account because her name was on it. The bank didn't do anything wrong by giving her access to it. I'm not sure what legal action you could take, or even if you would want to take legal action against your mom. This sounds like a case you would see on Judge Judy.

[bjl584]

Her name was on the account. There isn't much you can do legally.

[Like2Plan]

Was your account a custodial account? Are you over 18 (or 21) now?


I added a few links for you:

Fairmark UGMA & UTMA Custodial Accounts for Minors rules

What Expenditures Are Proper?

The Minor's Right to the Money

[rennigade]

Your mom sounds like a peach. Chalk it up as a life lesson, her name was on the account, nothing legallly wrong with her raiding it. At least you're still young and it was only $10k, which sounds like a lot at the moment. Imagine if there was $100k for your college fund, yikes. Your mom is a POS...quicker you realize that the better off you'll be. End of thread.

[disneysteve]

My mom stole my money

Her name was on the account.

Unfortunately, this sums it up. If her name was on the account, it wasn't your money. It was her money. That might not have been the intent but that was the reality. Sorry your mom is so dishonest as to steal from her own kid but there's nothing you can do about it at this point.

[AnotherReader]

I'm sorry a parent did this to you. I suspect you are or were about to turn 18 and the custodial nature of the account would have changed, as you become an adult at that age. Your mother may have seen this as the last opportunity to recover child support that was due but never paid.

The answer to your question is that it depends on why the account was set up and what the divorce settlement says. If your father set this account up as part of the divorce settlement, your mother may not have the right to take the money. However, it is likely that your father would need to go back to court to enforce the claim, where the question of the unpaid support would be an issue. If he is not willing to take your mother back to court, there is likely little that can be done to get the money back.

The bigger question here is why your mother would punish you by sabotaging your college education for your father's failure to pay support. How will you pay for college without that money? Have you discussed this with her?

In your shoes, I would call your father and tell him what happened. It would be up to him to decide what action to take.

Once you turn 18, set up your own accounts. Do not allow your mother to have access to them. Do not assist her in the future by cosigning loans for her or in any other way that exposes you to financial risk. It's possible she may continue to "punish" your father by sabotaging his child.

[snafu]

I think this situation is disgusting. I hope you've changed the account to eliminate your mom's access. Her disagreement is with your dad, and she has several options to collect missing/late child support. If you qualify for legal-aid, I'd talk to a lawyer for options to file a claim against mother. Mother at very least needs to offer evidence that bills paid with sum taken was for expenses generated by child support bills. It won't get you the money you need but has potential to make mother realize she has seriously impacted your future.

I hope you'll take advise offered seriously and never ever co sign for someone else's loan, or financial obligation. Painful life lesson learned

[Green43]

Not to sound cliche' but education is expensive and your first lesson cost you 10k don't trust anyone but you with your money. I am sure you love your mom but the line of back child support is BS, it was theft plain and simple, if your dad was back on his child support that was her battle with him and the legal system to resolve, she took the easy way out, stole your money and blamed it on him. What a piece of work. The best revenge is living well, do your best, work hard, become successful and live your life and learn from mistakes (even if they weren't yours). Good luck.

[bennkar]

Once you turn 18, set up your own accounts. Do not allow your mother to have access to them. Do not assist her in the future by cosigning loans for her or in any other way that exposes you to financial risk. It's possible she may continue to "punish" your father by sabotaging his child.

I'm a little late on this, but I sooooooo agree with this advice. She may continue with this attitude for some time. I wouldn't side with my mother in her fights with my father so she tried to take it out on me from time to time. Decades later she's all innocence and sweetness with me and would never do anything like that. Lets just say I trust her, but only so far.