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Hello, all. I am a long-time lurker and I so appreciate this forum.
I have a bit of a dilemma, and I will try to concise.
My father-in-law (my husband's step-dad) has always made a nice chunk of money-and both he and my mil have very expensive taste. They are well-off but most definitely not multi-millionaires and live beyond their means, in my opinion at least. As an example, it is not unusual for them to lose 50K over the course of a year at the local casino, and they often eat every meal out at nice restaurants.
At 74, after being bored out of his retired mind- FIL decided to start another business. Because I have skills related to this arena, I became loosely affiliated with this venture, and I now share an office with his business partner and also receive ( a few) client referrals from them for which I pay a small commission.
My dilemma is this: his business partner (whom I will call Sandy) and I have become friends and often chat about the business. In short, the business has HUGE expenses that way outweigh any revenue, and as a result, Sandy is essentially losing three thousand dollars a month. She even bounced her part of the rent once, and is stressed out of her mind. I have come to find out that my FIL is losing a good deal of money too-and what is more--he is always throwing considerable sums of money into what seems like a business destined for failure. They have been at it for three years and the margins are BAD. I know that he is funding this all with his (and my mil's) retirement fund.
What I am struggling with is the fact that my mother-in-law thinks he is making good money. He clearly doesn't show her his books. This is not my business-I realize-except that I feel like I am watching an elderly woman in precarious health have the wool pulled over her eyes. I have no concrete proof of what he is losing-and so I can't make any solid claims. But I know that I know that things are financially bad with this business.
My husband is torn as well, as you might imagine. I just don't understand how someone could be 75 years old and spending retirement funds like this. Longevity runs in his family--his mom died just a year ago!--and the rate I suspect he is burning through money they won't have adequate resources to last another ten or fifteen years.
Should I speak to him privately, should I ignore all of this--what should I do? I know he won't welcome any questions, but I feel some sort of obligation here. Maybe I shouldn't.
What do you all think?
I have a bit of a dilemma, and I will try to concise.
My father-in-law (my husband's step-dad) has always made a nice chunk of money-and both he and my mil have very expensive taste. They are well-off but most definitely not multi-millionaires and live beyond their means, in my opinion at least. As an example, it is not unusual for them to lose 50K over the course of a year at the local casino, and they often eat every meal out at nice restaurants.
At 74, after being bored out of his retired mind- FIL decided to start another business. Because I have skills related to this arena, I became loosely affiliated with this venture, and I now share an office with his business partner and also receive ( a few) client referrals from them for which I pay a small commission.
My dilemma is this: his business partner (whom I will call Sandy) and I have become friends and often chat about the business. In short, the business has HUGE expenses that way outweigh any revenue, and as a result, Sandy is essentially losing three thousand dollars a month. She even bounced her part of the rent once, and is stressed out of her mind. I have come to find out that my FIL is losing a good deal of money too-and what is more--he is always throwing considerable sums of money into what seems like a business destined for failure. They have been at it for three years and the margins are BAD. I know that he is funding this all with his (and my mil's) retirement fund.
What I am struggling with is the fact that my mother-in-law thinks he is making good money. He clearly doesn't show her his books. This is not my business-I realize-except that I feel like I am watching an elderly woman in precarious health have the wool pulled over her eyes. I have no concrete proof of what he is losing-and so I can't make any solid claims. But I know that I know that things are financially bad with this business.
My husband is torn as well, as you might imagine. I just don't understand how someone could be 75 years old and spending retirement funds like this. Longevity runs in his family--his mom died just a year ago!--and the rate I suspect he is burning through money they won't have adequate resources to last another ten or fifteen years.
Should I speak to him privately, should I ignore all of this--what should I do? I know he won't welcome any questions, but I feel some sort of obligation here. Maybe I shouldn't.
What do you all think?
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