Need help with grocery budget

[frugalredhead]

DH and I got in a discussion last night about how he has been spending more and more money on groceries because I'm buying less and less. He pays most of the fixed amount bills (mortgage, car loans, cable, etc) so when he has to go to the grocery store, he has to put it on his credit card because he has no cash left to use.

I had been trying to feed our family of 4 (2 adults, and 2 boys ages 3 and 7) on $400 a month and we just can't do it (that includes paper products and toiletries). I've been having to charge a little extra (so I'm spending probably $500-550 a month) and DH said he spent almost $400 last month (eek!!) The food that DH eats costs more than the 3 of the rest of us put together. We don't usually eat family meals - the boys and I eat earlier, and DH eats hours after we do. He likes fish, crabcakes, chicken wings... I eat much cheaper food (and less of it) than he does.

I told him that while I agreed that $400 a month was not going to be reasonable, either was $900 and we were going to have to find a happy medium.

I already shop sales, use coupons, but store brand, etc. It's his meat & seafood comsumption that kills us. Other than eating nothing but chicken, any advice for cutting that portion of our grocery budget?

He also make a good point - I eat those Michelinas meals every day for lunch, and while they seem super cheap ($1 each), it's for a tiny bit of pasta with tomato sauce. I can easily make a whole box of pasta with sauce for $1.50, and portion it out and get 8 servings out of it.

We are really focused on eating healthy and weight loss right now too, so that makes it a little harder to save.

Any advice is welcome!

[dawnwes]

I am not really understanding how you are eating. You prep meals only for your boys and you? Your husband makes his own when he gets home?

Would it be possible for you to make a family meal and have leftovers for him when he gets home? Prepared foods of any kind will be more $$. Chicken wings, crab cakes, etc....are expensive. Maybe if you broke it down in to ind. serving costs, it would be more effective to bring up in your discussion.

When we are being strict with our budget, we forgo the expensive meats (crab, salmon, etc...) and stick with chicken and cheaper cuts of beef.

You cannot stick with your budget if he is unwilling, so somehow you have to make it work for him.

I would also say your budget should be about $500-$550 if you can do it, $400 may be unreasonable for you.

Dawn

[frugalredhead]

I am not really understanding how you are eating. You prep meals only for your boys and you? Your husband makes his own when he gets home?

Would it be possible for you to make a family meal and have leftovers for him when he gets home? Prepared foods of any kind will be more $$. Chicken wings, crab cakes, etc....are expensive. Maybe if you broke it down in to ind. serving costs, it would be more effective to bring up in your discussion.

When we are being strict with our budget, we forgo the expensive meats (crab, salmon, etc...) and stick with chicken and cheaper cuts of beef.

You cannot stick with your budget if he is unwilling, so somehow you have to make it work for him.

I would also say your budget should be about $500-$550 if you can do it, $400 may be unreasonable for you.

Dawn

Yep, around 6:00 I usually have Lean Pockets and the boys will usually have hotdogs, chef boyardee pasta, breakfast for dinner (their favorite) or something like that. My husband usually cooks a decent sized meal on Sundays that give us leftovers usually through Tuesday or so. My husband doesn't eat dinner until he goes to bed around 10 or 10:30.

Since it's been a slow day at work, I added up everything that the boys and I are having today and it comes to $12.64 a day, or $380 a month. I told my husband that leaves him $12 for the month and he can eat 1 chicken wing a day But seriously, yeah $400 apparently is unreasonable. I did go through and find areas when I could substitute something cheaper, and got it down to $9.70 a day, or $291 a month. I think I could make it work at $550 a month if I make more foods from scratch, and take the time to do more prep work. For example, I usually buy baby carrots because I just have to grab them and throw them in a bag, but this weekend I bought a big bag of carrots and peeled and cut them myself. We use a good bit of shredded cheese, and I could probably save money by shredding it myself.

I did break it up into individual costs for him - explained that mine and the boys dinner costs under $2 each and his is easily $10 worth of food. He is willing to eat more chicken and cheaper meats, although I think he'd curl up and die if he had to completely give up his chicken wings!

I've done a lot of research today on eating cheaper, and have some recipes to try! Homemade fried brown rice with veggies and some chicken, pasta with veggies and a light alfredo sauce... I also have a bread maker and while I find it difficult for sandwich bread (I can't seem to slice it thin enough), it is great for making homemade dough for pizzas, pigs in a blanket, etc.

I use a separate checking account for my grocery money, and am thinking of changing the direct deposit for my part time job that $100 of every paycheck goes into that account. That way I will have $617 a month there for groceries.

[dczech09]

I think your main issue is that the two of you have not been communicating or working with each other on your finances. The way you have written everything makes it sound like you two are running completely separate finances and have absolutely little communication otherwise. Maybe that is not the case; maybe it is changing.

Bottom line is that you two should be working together. I am not saying that you have to run completely joint finances; that is for the two of you to decide. But either way, there needs to be communication, solid budgeting, and efforts on both sides to eat more inexpensively.

Dining and grocery budgeting is always a troubling area for people. Couponing works. You could also check out one of those websites that creates meal plans; they give advice on setting weekly menus and tell you what to purchase at the store.

Another word of advice- consider using cash for food. On your payday, go to the bank and withdraw whatever amount you have budgeted for food. Put that cash in an envelope labeled "food" and only use that cash for food. This helps with the communication thing, AND using cash is a great way to help you save money. People tend to spend less when using cash! Try it out at the very least!

[disneysteve]

It also sounds like your husband prefers home cooked meals while you and the boys are getting by on ready-made processed junk (lean pockets, chef boyardee, michelinas). Sorry but I'd have to vote with your husband on this one. You mention that you are focused on eating healthy which is great. That means cutting out the high fat, high calorie, high salt, high preservative crap and doing more cooking from scratch. That's much healthier and also typically much cheaper. And if all 4 of you start planning meals together and making one meal instead of 3 or 4 different meals, that will also help reduce costs and reduce waste which saves money too.

Perhaps one thing the two of you need to do is to review the entire household budget and see where you can trim in other areas to be able to direct more money to the grocery budget.

[frugalredhead]

Most of what he eats is processed as well - the fish and crab cakes are frozen and boxed, the chicken wings are bagged and frozen... and he eats a lot of those bagged meals too. We are definitely going to make an effort to cook more from scratch. It is hard to find the time with me working 2 jobs, but it's worth it both health and money wise!

We do have pretty separate finances. He pays the mortgage, car payments, cable/internet, his student loans, and some other little things. I pay the kids daycare, cell phones, my student loans, most grocery shopping, and all of the credit card payments. We've been doing it this way since we moved in together 11 years ago, and it works pretty well for us most of the time. We are definitely going to work together more on the grocery budget! I had been trying to use a "cash" system in that I was using a checking account that was strictly for groceries, so when that money is gone, it's gone. But when you're working with an unrealistic amount of money to start with, and you have no milk and bread, you wind of charging it.

I haven't decided if I will change my direct deposit from my part time job to put some money out of each paycheck into that "grocery account" or if I will just charge one grocery trip a month on my Discover (which then gets paid with that part time job money anyway). As long as I don't let the spending get away from me just because I'm using a credit card, it should be pretty much the same thing, and I would earn a little cash back (only 1% so nothing substantial).

Thanks for the advice!

[snafu]

Do you have a crockpot? It makes it easy to layer root vegetables, meat and possibly frozen veggies you'll both eat, add broth, a few spices and return home to a waiting, healthy meal. Try www.cooks.com + chicken, beef, lamb, pork, salmon, halibut, You merely add fresh salad or coleslaw + fruit for dessert. Make enough to allow you & DH to take a container to heat 'n' eat at work. Even better, the long, slow cooking process works wonders on the cheaper cuts of beef, chicken, pork.

If you enjoy baking bread, you can make it to the 'bake' stage in your breadmaker but set it in a pan as buns/rolls for the bake step.

Chicken wings fried in sauce are a fun treat for a major event like Superbowl or possibly celebratory event like
birthday but you can get the same effect baking chicken breast first baked and then reheated with the hot sauce or
teriyaki dipping sauce DH prefers.

If you roast a chicken, prime ribs, any cut of beef you like, leg of lamb, ham, pork roast, turkey on Sunday, you can slice and dice for 'plan-over,' 'make over' casserole, cassoulet, or combine with cooked rice [18 minutes] or one of dozens different shapes of pasta [12-19 minutes] + any type of sauce the family will eat. If root vegetables get boring, cook the meat in a crockpot but make a green bean casserole. If you live in a cold winter climate, adding soup as a starter allows you to use up all manner of meat, veggies & rice or pasta. It's so easy to make in that crock pot.

If your family will eat stew, try adding that in the search bar at cooks.com or ivilliage.com. You might have a look at a site like Womens Day magazine's month of menus for ideas, using seasonal foods

http://www.womansday.com/food-recipes/month-of-menus/

[frugalredhead]

Thanks for all the ideas, snafu! We do like to make roast in the crock pot sometimes, and DH makes pulled pork a lot. I definitely need to use the crockpot more than I do - homecooked meals are difficult when you're a working mom and don't get home until almost 5, and the kids have to start getting ready for bed just after 7. The key seems to be to take the time to cook and prep foods on the weekend. I need to get better at planning ahead!

I do love to make bread in my breadmaker - will have to try and make my own sandwich rolls, although the bread I buy is usually on sale for 2 loaves for $3, so I don't think in that case homemade would save me much. But making pizza dough definitely saves money.

I also did some reading about having a price list, so you know when things are on a good sale. With most things I buy, I have that memorized by now, but meat I have no idea when a sale is really good or not. next time I go to the store I'll have to make a list of the regular prices in that department. I found imitation crabcakes in a different grocery store than I usually go to - 1 bag of 10 for $10, as opposed to the 2 for $7 (when they're on sale, which is rare these days) that we usually pay for the Phillips brand. DH said they were pretty good and definitely worth the savings! He just douses everything in hot sauce anyway

[SuperSavingTips]

I agree with snafu about the slow cooker. There are plenty of blogs that offer instructions on prepping and freezing ingredients on the weekend to put in the slow cooker during the week, like this one: newleafwellness.biz/2014/08/04/seven-slow-cooker-freezermeals-hour/ (sorry can't post the URL yet). It even includes the recipes and a grocery list. That way you can save money, eat healthier, and the recipes sound delicious. I know it's hard to squeeze that in when you're working 2 jobs. Maybe enlist the help of DH on the prep work, and reward him with some slow cooker chicken wings.

And I would definitely start tracking prices so you know what a good sale price is. Shop the good sales, match with the coupons, and you should be on your way. You might want to set a goal with DH to gradually reduce your grocery budget by a certain amount each month. A specific goal is easier to track and you feel great when you reach it!

[Eagle]

@Frugalredhead

We’ve found it’s really hard to slice the budget AND eat healthy at the same time. It’s possible just difficult. Kind of have to do one or the other.

It seems like you guys are eating a lot of junk food (hotdogs, cheap frozen meals, etc.). This is IMO a short-term savings but maybe a long-term cost. Not to mention it could negatively affect your kids growth or developement.

Kids love carbs (my son would eat Mac & Cheese every day if we let him) but they need a balanced diet. This includes a balanced diet of daily: meats, vegetables, fruit, grains (carbohydrates), dairy & eggs, and very little fats/sweets. Do you guys take multi-vitamins?



Also important is the intake of water and daily exercise.

[Eagle]

Any advice is welcome!

@Frugalredhead

We have a family of 4 and budget $600-700 a month. We do buy a lot of organic stuff (milk, eggs, cheese, etc.) though primarily because my wife thinks it will pay off in the long run.

That said, here’s some suggestions:

1. Can you grow your own veggies in a garden at home? (we don't do this but have heard it saves a ton)

2. Do you have room on your property for chickens? (a co-worker has chickens that provide for his families eggs and he sells them for $3 a dozen)

3. I can also send you a link in private message about a group we've joined on social media that is very helpful in generating ideas for budgeting meals.

Hang in there.

[frugalredhead]

@Frugalredhead

We have a family of 4 and budget $600-700 a month. We do buy a lot of organic stuff (milk, eggs, cheese, etc.) though primarily because my wife thinks it will pay off in the long run.

That said, here’s some suggestions:

1. Can you grow your own veggies in a garden at home? (we don't do this but have heard it saves a ton)

2. Do you have room on your property for chickens? (a co-worker has chickens that provide for his families eggs and he sells them for $3 a dozen)

3. I can also send you a link in private message about a group we've joined on social media that is very helpful in generating ideas for budgeting meals.

Hang in there.

As you mentioned in your previous response, my kids would also eat mac and cheese every day if I let them! My husband takes a multivitamin but I do not. I know I should, and I have them sitting on my sink, but I don't take them, I have no good reason why.

My do grow our own veggies although this years crop didn't do great. We got plenty of tomatoes, cucumbers, and some green beans. The squash borers got my 8 yellow squash and zucchini plants so I only got a couple to harvest. Last year I had enough zucchini that I am still eating the zucchini bread that I froze in the fall and it's delicious! Not allowed to have chickens in my neighborhood.

Since posting this, I made homemade sandwich buns (not really thick enough for sandwiches but they make great dinner rolls), cooked 2 whole chickens and got about 9 cups of chicken meat to freeze, and then made my own broth with the bones (got about 6 cups worth out of that). Tonight I am going to put together a chicken, pasta, & veggie casserole that I can just throw in the oven when I get home tomorrow. Hubby also cooked an 8 lb pork shoulder and made pulled pork, half of which I froze, and we made homemade (low fat) mac and cheese to go with it, and I froze half of that too. Usually we eat something until we're sick of it and throw the rest out. No more!!

I would love a link to that budget meals group - I need all the help I can get