Vacation Problems... Really?

[Eagle]

So I have a friend/acquaintance on social media from the East Coast who went on a vacation over the holiday to the West Coast. So basically that tells me they had saved up enough to spend a couple thousand or more for the trip. They had car issues over the weekend and posted on social media that they needed help financially. They have several kids.

They said they didn’t have any money saved up to pay for the repairs. So no emergency fund. Isn’t that kind of like asking people to fund your vacation and encouraging bad behavior (no savings but going on vacation)?

Or am I just being insensitive...

[dczech09]

I agree. Saving for vacation is great and all, but doing so without an emergency fund is risky. You are asking for trouble.

I think your friend/acquaintance did there savings out of order. That is not necessarily a bad thing; there is not necessarily any harm in going on vacation before having an emergency fund. The only caveat is now that an emergency has occurred, some of those funds needs to be "repurposed."

They did not ask for your opinion, so I do not think it would be your place to jump in and tell them what they are doing is wrong. However, that certainly does not mean you have to condone or reward their behavior. Just do not give them any money and keep smiling

If they ask for your opinion, then give it to them. But until the, mums the word!

[Nonspender80]

So I have a friend/acquaintance on social media from the East Coast who went on a vacation over the holiday to the West Coast. So basically that tells me they had saved up enough to spend a couple thousand or more for the trip. They had car issues over the weekend and posted on social media that they needed help financially. They have several kids.

They said they didn’t have any money saved up to pay for the repairs. So no emergency fund. Isn’t that kind of like asking people to fund your vacation and encouraging bad behavior (no savings but going on vacation)?

Or am I just being insensitive...

It's sad because kids are involved.

I have neighbors or borrow from their kids (their daughter and son in law make decent money but aren't rich, he's a physical therapist and she's a guidance counselor). The neighbors openly talk about their tough times and how she almost sold her engagement ring to pay overdue mortgage and utility bills but after a guild trip her daughter paid the bill for them.
These neighbors are going to the beach with friends next month for a weekend and visit a local casino every so often. I often wonder if the daughter and son in law know about these habits because as you point out eagle, these kids are paying for my neighbors to gamble away the money earned by these kids. And I just think its discussing an irresponsible and while I'm dad for the kids in your example, the parents don't need you or anyone giving them sympathy or money for their vacation lifestyle.
Was this the first time your friends have been involved in a financial situation like this?

[ua_guy]

I don't understand the entitlement mentality regarding vacations. Vacations are earned. If you can't afford one, you don't go on one. Period, end of story.

[creditcardfree]

Isn’t that kind of like asking people to fund your vacation and encouraging bad behavior (no savings but going on vacation)?

I'm sure they are not thinking the way you do. Ignore and move on, it is their lesson to learn. Give advice if asked. I think asking for money on social media for personal gain/help is in poor taste.

[disneysteve]

Let me play Devil's Advocate for a moment. We had a very similar discussion last night about a family who needs financial assistance but takes regular vacations. Someone who is close with them pointed out that their vacation consists of staying at a timeshare owned by one of their parents at no cost to them and probably flying with frequent flyer miles also gifted to them. So their out of pocket costs for what appears to be a nice vacation are pretty low.

You can't always assume that just because they went on vacation, that they were the ones who funded that vacation.

That said, I never really understood why a parent or other family member would pay for a vacation and leave the family struggling to pay their day to day bills. Why not give them that money to help with more important things?

[bjl584]

That said, I never really understood why a parent or other family member would pay for a vacation and leave the family struggling to pay their day to day bills. Why not give them that money to help with more important things?

They probably wouldn't use the money for more important things. They'd probably go on vacation with it.

[ua_guy]

Let me play Devil's Advocate for a moment. We had a very similar discussion last night about a family who needs financial assistance but takes regular vacations. Someone who is close with them pointed out that their vacation consists of staying at a timeshare owned by one of their parents at no cost to them and probably flying with frequent flyer miles also gifted to them. So their out of pocket costs for what appears to be a nice vacation are pretty low.

You can't always assume that just because they went on vacation, that they were the ones who funded that vacation.

That said, I never really understood why a parent or other family member would pay for a vacation and leave the family struggling to pay their day to day bills. Why not give them that money to help with more important things?

If that is the underlying reality, then it certainly changes things. But I think that's the exception, and not the norm.

[Michael Thompson]

I think it is not good , you should help them if you can

[disneysteve]

If that is the underlying reality, then it certainly changes things.

I was just making the point that appearances don't always tell the whole story. It's just like you can't assume that someone is doing well financially just because they drive a nice car or live in a fancy house. They could be buried in debt and have zero savings.

[Permanent Temp]

I was just making the point that appearances don't always tell the whole story. It's just like you can't assume that someone is doing well financially just because they drive a nice car or live in a fancy house. They could be buried in debt and have zero savings.

Exactly this. I fly back home every year from one coast to the other but I get free lodging from family members. I pay for the flight, car rental and expenses.

Before I had money I used credit to go on vacations but still did them as cheaply as possible, although since I wasn't smart about credit cards any savings I had probably went out the window. Point is there is no assuming about other peoples finances. Unless you know what their complete financial picture looks like you don't know whats going on in their lives.

Possible scenarios other than the ones mentioned are:
They used credit for the trip, and had no emergency fund being really bad with money.
They had an emergency recently that wasn't posted on social media that depleted the emergency fund. All of the trip stuff was booked and non-refundable so they went on it anyway and now the car is dead and they don't have enough money left in the fund to cover it. Etc.
Money is not A, B and C. Lots of things can happen.


Also on the several kids? Are they all biological kids or are some adopted or foster kids? Are they a religion that makes it so birth control is something that is an issue for them so they several kids etc etc. No reason to judge that either even if they are all their biological children. If they are scamming the system and/or the children are mistreated or hungry I could see concern but other wise I don't see a problem.

It's best to keep our financial passion and enthusiasm to our own lives. Yes sometimes things other people do don't make sense and we make a comment or two on them but unless we have a direct insight into their financial situation (as in sit down with their bills, looked at their pay stubs, know account balances, etc as people who pop in here for advice often do) we have no right to judge or assume much of anything about a family's particular financial situation.

[Eagle]

@ Dczech09 – Yes, it may be that going on vacation without an e-fund is risky. Particularly when you’re going half way across the U.S. Yeah, I know they didn’t ask for my opinion and I don’t really intend on giving it to them unless they ask. And we didn’t plan on giving them money on this issue unless they sent us a private message we might have considered it.

@ Nonspender80 – If the kids of this neighbor don’t know what they’re doing (gambling and going on vacations) and still asking them for money that’s just wrong IMO.

@ UA_Guy – I agree. Vacations are earned. If you can’t afford one then don’t go. Staycations can be rather cheap IMO.

@ Creditcardfree – Probably have a different view on money and finances. I agree asking people for help on social media is probably in poor taste.

[Eagle]

For clarification…
They were going to visit husband’s family out there on the West Coast. They planned this trip at least 2 months in advance. They drove their vehicle from the East Coast to the West Coast.

They mentioned they had hoped to pay off the credit cards this year. So this tells me this trip might have been on credit cards as well.

The trip cost an additional 3k for the repairs, tow, etc.

The kids are all under the age of 10. There’s 4 of them. And they’re all their biological children.

They ended up using their credit cards to pay for the added expenses.

[Eagle]

@ DisneySteve – I see what you mean about the out of pocket costs for a vacation for the family you mentioned being pretty low. From what this person mentioned they went on their own dime. I agree it’s strange to pay for a vacation but not help with what actually matters – day to day living and bills. However, people do pay for what they see as a priority. Maybe the grandparents wanted to see their kids and grandkids?

@BJL584 – Perhaps their friends and family know they have problems handling money. Some people just seem to go from one emergency to the next. Never stopping to evaluate their spending habits or priorities. We have dear friends who live this way. It’s really sad and frustrating.

@Michael Thompson – If they wanted to stay with us on the way there or back that would be one thing. This is clearly an emergency they didn’t think through. They ended up using credit cards to pay for the expenses.

[disneysteve]

My wife has a family member who goes on vacation every year or so to a nice resort in Jamaica. They are very open about the fact that they charge the trip and then take a year to pay it off. Then they go again, charge it, and take a year to pay it off. They never take another trip until they've paid off the first one, but it just also never seemed to occur to them to flip the cycle. Save for a year, take the trip and pay in full. Then save for another year, take the trip and pay in full. Either way, they'd be going every year and it would actually be a little cheaper because they wouldn't be paying 20% interest on the credit card and they'd earn a bit of interest on the savings.