Not worrying about spending

[Nika]

I couldn't spend $20k on vacation even if we made $500k because again because I wouldn't think I have enough.

Enough for what? That's the main question I guess. What are your goals for which you don't feel you have enough.

As far as vacation, high earners often have difficult time getting away for 2 weeks straight, so they really want to make it a nice experience, because in their situations TIME is a more finite resource then money.

I see the value in good quality comfortable shoes for my child. I buy European brands and Pediped. The only reason I did not buy Uggs for him this year is because of the concern with lack of arch support in those shoes for his developing feet. I have uggs that I am wearing right now (I change in the office, of course). They are best for this super cold weather and very comfy. I inserted custom-made foot orthotics into them. We are not loaded. But buying a good pair of shoes once a season until you build up adequate amount is not prohibitive.

We did not grow up in rich families. But there are people to whom buying 11K bag (and trust me, there are plenty of those in department stores around here, where bags start from 3K and up... is nothing. Proportionately, it is less to them than buying a 99c bag to you. That is what economists refer to when they mention "rich", not a working doctor/lawyer couple that a regular person may view as "rich". I have a relative who works at a very expensive hair salon on Madison Ave. They have locals who come 3 times a week for wash and blow dry. They are so rich they never wash their own hair, and it does not even register as an expense in their world, and you are talking about North Face...

You friends may worry about spending, but just on a different level than you. Clothing and eating out may not matter to them, they might just be careful to not dip into the principle of their income-producing assets, and that alone would make sure they are fine for the rest of their life.

As far as eating out, when I lived in China, I ate out EVERY SINGLE MEAL for 8 months(ah, the ex-pat life...). It just did not matter. I could have a meal delivered for $1. I could have a meal in a mid-range restaurant for $4. Sit down meal, with beers, 3 complex dishes, more than I could ever cook. A fancy one a little more. Or a cheap but still tasty one for $0.50. Would you be spending time shopping, cooking, cleaning up in that scenario to bring down the cost of the meal from 50cents to 25 cents for something that is not as delicious? That is how your friends may be viewing their eating out.

[rmhop81]

Trust me they are loaded. No Nika I think even if I made $500k I couldn't buy stuff like northface at $200 pop for kids shoes because they are kids shoes. Or $100 jacket they wear one season. I'd still be buying costco jacket for $20. It's too much in my nature. I couldn't change. I couldn't spend $20k on vacation even if we made $500k because again because I wouldn't think I have enough.

But as to knowing? Trust me you don't just set aside $500k for college in a trust for your kid at 30 from your trust fund unless you're loaded. And you don't own 4-5 homes each other a couple million unless you are loaded.

but as you probably have learned over the years....most people fib here or there. the better question is...why are they openly sharing this info with you? bc they want you to be impressed by it, which you are!

Maybe they do have a lot of income, but who knows they could spend every dollar they make as well.

why worry so much about their situation?

[disneysteve]

Proportionately, it is less to them than buying a 99c bag to you.

This is an often overlooked point.

If I make $100,000 and buy my wife a $100 handbag (not that we'd ever spend that much ) it would be 0.1% of our income.

If someone makes $10,000,000 they could spend that same 0.1% and get a $10,000 handbag.

You could ask, "Is $10,000 too much for a handbag?" or you could ask, "Is 0.1% of your income too much for a handbag?"

[bigdaddybus]

I think this really nails it. It isn't about how much you have. It is about mindset. Having more money doesn't change a frugal person into a spendthrift. I would never buy a child $100 shoes because I know they'd outgrow them in 3-6 months. However, now that my daughter is 18 and done growing, I would consider spending $100 if I had unlimited funds (or at least a lot more than I have currently).

It comes down to value, not cost.

Agreed

To some it will never be enough, and to others it would be easy to live a wonderful lifestyle and never feel like they missed out on anything for far less than 500K a year.

I have an aquaintence, an executive, that doesn't eat leftovers and wont "slum it" outside of first class or taking the family on the company jet.
I mentioned to him awhile back my wife and I love Ruth Chris Steakhouses and try to visit one around our anniversary. He proceeded to tell me of a dozen better places I gotta try and that I should let him know what I think. To me, I just just smiled and moved on, to him its important to let everyone know he is the big swinging dick in the room. To me, meh. not so important.
I think its easy for some, like him, to get caught up in the lifestyle and struggle to stay grounded (because he doesnt want to, or have to)

[disneysteve]

I mentioned to him awhile back my wife and I love Ruth Chris Steakhouses and try to visit one around our anniversary. He proceeded to tell me of a dozen better places I gotta try

I'm not quite sure what was wrong with him suggesting restaurants that you might like better. Did you think he was just doing it to boast about having been to all of those places?

[bigdaddybus]

I'm not quite sure what was wrong with him suggesting restaurants that you might like better. Did you think he was just doing it to boast about having been to all of those places?

Yep, thought my post made that clear. Guess not

[disneysteve]

Yep, thought my post made that clear. Guess not

Gotcha. If he was just bragging, I see your point. Otherwise, I would appreciate a good restaurant recommendation.

[dojo]

We're doing well money wise and we still track our spending. It's a matter of few minutes every few days to update my data and we can plan/budget accordingly. Unless we become billionaires, I don't expect us to blindly spend just because 'we can'

[Nika]

I mentioned to him awhile back my wife and I love Ruth Chris Steakhouses and try to visit one around our anniversary. He proceeded to tell me of a dozen better places I gotta try and that I should let him know what I think. To me, I just just smiled and moved on, to him its important to let everyone know he is the big swinging dick in the room. To me, meh. not so important.

Maybe he is a foodie and that stuff is just important to him and he is passionate about the subject and wants to share his discoveries with you, so that you too can have a great new food experience. You make the worst possible assumption of his motivation.

[disneysteve]

Maybe he is a foodie and that stuff is just important to him and he is passionate about the subject and wants to share his discoveries with you, so that you too can have a great new food experience. You make the worst possible assumption of his motivation.

That was what I was thinking which was why I questioned what he meant. I didn't get why recommending a good restaurant would be a bad thing.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Possibly people are just foodies. But I don't know when i'd be comfortable with just spending? Probably if we keep on working and we hit say 50 and then retire we'd be really comfortable to retire.

[disneysteve]

I think (not that I would know personally) that even the truly wealthy have some type of internal limit on spending. Even the rich folks must have some concept that they can't go out and buy 20 Rolls Royces, a fleet of private jets, an island in the South Pacific, and a mansion in every state.

I can understand, however, a rich person reaching the level of wealth where there simply isn't anything that they would realistically go out and buy that would threaten their wealth because it wouldn't be enough to move the needle. I have no idea what that number would be, and I don't think it would be the same for everyone for reasons already mentioned.

[bigdaddybus]

That was what I was thinking which was why I questioned what he meant. I didn't get why recommending a good restaurant would be a bad thing.

Even this guys mother is embarrassed of how arrogant he is (especially the way he treats his wife). I'm sure 99.99% of you would see exactly what I meant if you spent just a bit of time with him.

back to our regularly scheduled programming.....

[Caoineag]

I think when your passive income exceeds your own personal spending desires, then its hard to worry about spending. Since everyone has a different set of spending desires, I think how much that is depends on the person.

[disneysteve]

Even this guys mother is embarrassed of how arrogant he is (especially the way he treats his wife). I'm sure 99.99% of you would see exactly what I meant if you spent just a bit of time with him.

back to our regularly scheduled programming.....

Oh I know those people for sure. I just hadn't gotten that from your post but I understand completely.