Elderly Parents!

[Katey5746]

My father and mother is in their 80's .And I think at this age they are over stressful and more than anything the else they need the attention and care from their children.But what if the they are staying far from us and cant get to them daily? I have appointed a care taker for them and also installed a Senior medical alarm from My Alarmcare Canada for them at their home.Always keeps a part of my salary for them in their account.But I always feel it is not enough .I cant get out of my busy schedules...What I can do to make them happy again?

[cschin4]

My father and mother is in their 80's .And I think at this age they are over stressful and more than anything the else they need the attention and care from their children.But what if the they are staying far from us and cant get to them daily? I have appointed a care taker for them and also installed a Senior medical alarm from My Alarmcare Canada for them at their home.Always keeps a part of my salary for them in their account.But I always feel it is not enough .I cant get out of my busy schedules...What I can do to make them happy again?

I just went through a long ordeal with my mother who passed away last year. And, my advice is that there are just some things you have take day by day. First, are they functioning OK at this point? Are they able to do their own grocery shopping, feed and clothe themselves and maintain themselves? If so, then at this point there isn't much to do and they do have each other to help out.
But, a couple of points. Do they have a POA and medical POA assigned in the event of a problem? Do they some assets that might allow them to pay for medical services?
Are there assisted living or in home care nearby? And, there may some Senior services you could put them in touch with.
You can only do so much from a distance. Is there any thought of them relocating to you area and getting a small, easy to manage apt?
As for them being happy, you cannot make another person happy. Happiness comes from within and must come from themselves.

[97guns]

we have been through this with my father who just passed last month, i am in hawaii right now putting him to rest later this week. my parents are divorced and my dad lived by himself for the past 20 years, the final 4 months in a care home because he was unable to care for himself.

we went as long as we could with him living on his own, it was his choice to do so but when we started to see him unable to care for himself we had to make the decision of care home. it was for our peace of mind that he would be safe and cared for.

there will be a point and it will be obvious as to when to enter an assisted living facility

they made the ultimate sacrifices as they raised their children, NOW is the time they need their kids to make sacrifices for them.

[llckll]

Is there a possibility that they can move in with you?

My in-laws are still relatively young (mid 60's) and they are taking care of my son. But I am preparing myself for the day when they won't be able to take care of themselves. They've applied for senior housing, but the wait list around my area is at least 7 years.

Sorry about your situation and condolences to the posters that just lost their loved ones.

[asmom]

My father and mother is in their 80's .And I think at this age they are over stressful and more than anything the else they need the attention and care from their children.But what if the they are staying far from us and cant get to them daily? I have appointed a care taker for them and also installed a Senior medical alarm from My Alarmcare Canada for them at their home.Always keeps a part of my salary for them in their account.But I always feel it is not enough .I cant get out of my busy schedules...What I can do to make them happy again?

I am a certified gerontology nurse. Trust me, you have already done far more for your parents than most people. You mention that they are in their 80s but are they frail? Falling? Do they have memory problems? You mentioned they are unhappy. Depression has a high prevalence in the elderly. Maybe they should be evaluated for depression.

You're doing a good job. It is very important to most people that they are able to remain in their homes as they age. You are making that possible for your parents.