Days on which I feel poor.

[Nika]

Is when looking for education options for my 3 year old.
Pre-K application deadline is in April, and situation is dismal (and it won't get better in later years). We live in a rich area of Bronx, that borders a poor area. So our neighborhood is good. But, just a little bit further away is the area that you would picture when you hear the word Bronx.

So public schools are 80% Hispanic, with most students from the bad area where projects are and a lot of people are on benefits. The rich people won't even bother to try and do something with public schools in the area. Instead, they send their kids to EXCELLENT private schools, of which there are several in the area. 2 wonderful charter schools are right next to us. They are great academically and the campus looks like something off the TV screen, with gorgeous grounds, athletic fields, parks inside. Unfortunately, these right next to us schools are all 45K+ a year (even for pre-K).

There is no way we can afford that (for 13 years from pre-k to K12!) So we are in no-man's land, educationally. And spaces in even not-so-great pre-schools are few. 26 spaces in the one in our neighborhood. Currently, good education is one of the greatest luxuries out there.

I don't know what to do. I'm looking at all options, including giving up on paying off our mortgage, just selling the apartment and moving further up to CT or Westchester and renting there, or getting a place we can barely stretch to pay. But, that would increase our commute by probably 1.5-2 additional hours each, and with that, picking him up and dropping him off in daycare will become impossible. We also won't be able to afford to hire a nanny to do that for us.

[Petunia 100]

Charter schools are public schools. Why would a charter school have tuition?

I'm not familiar with your area at all, what do other people at your income level do? There must be other people like you who simply can't cough up 45k per year for tuition.

[Nika]

Sorry, I meant private schools that are not affiliated with religion.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Do you and your spouse have what it takes to incorporate a preschool, hire good staff, and get it up and running by the time you yourselves need it?

[Reggie]

Break down the reasons for living where you do. It obviously isn't the school district. Is it a short commute to work? Is it near family? Cheap cost of living for a nice home? Could you move to a better district? Could you get new jobs or transfer?

School districts are a big reason for living in a certain area and making a commute to work. It's all about choices based on your priorities.

I live in a fairly rural area with really good schools. My skills are highly marketable and I could earn $175k a year if I moved to a larger city; however, my standard of living would probably be worse. I don't like traffic. I don't like small homes. I value my time and my 10 minute commute and my daughter can go to a fairly inexpensive Catholic school with amazing test scores.

Change is very scary for a lot of people but once I made the change and sold my home, I never looked back and life has been so much better.

[disneysteve]

I think paying 45K/year for preschool is certifiably insane. Knowing that others are doing so wouldn't make me feel poor at all. It would make me feel sorry for them.

We chose where to live in part based on the quality of the local schools. If faced with the choice of horrible public schools and ridiculously priced private schools, I would move.

[BuckyBadger]

Remember, too, that the biggest indicator of successful children are successful parents.

For preschool I'm not sure I understand the value of so much money being spent. I don't even know if I went to preschool - is that a mandatory thing? - but I certainly know that I spent a lot of time with my parents at that age reading and learning and exploring and experimenting. That's how a child *really* learns at that age.

As long is the child isn't getting murdered and is learning to socialize, I would imagine that you can delay the $45k/year expenditures until after the preschool years...

[riverwed070707]

Agree with all posts here but I also understand the struggle of finding a good school that is also affordable. Having put DD in private school at an early age, I will say that the more expensive the private school, the higher the expectation that you have more and more and more to give so if the tuition scares you, don't ignore it. DD was probably the least weathly kid in her pre-k school. Surrounded by kids of doctors and lawyers and the areas most successful business owners, we budgeted carefully to make it work (and it was worth it!) but it seemed like the donation requests never stopped. Usually there was a minimum or recommended donation for each fundraiser and through the year it added up to be a lot. At the annual auction fundraiser, a parent actually paid $7,000 for the closest parking spot to pick up their kids every day and another paid $5k to have the school's circle drive named after them.

Anywho, if I were in your shoes, I would look for a public charter -- they are open enrollement and free but usually have higher educational standards than your regular public schools. Many even have a math or science focus to promote kids to pursue jobs in those fields. If there isn't one near your house (which I assume you've looked), what about close(or closer) to work? Could always find before and after school care near their school where you can pick them up and drop them off on the way to work.

[Petunia 100]

Sorry, I meant private schools that are not affiliated with religion.

Are there any charter schools in your area?

[creditcardfree]

Without much other thought, I'd move. We have moved three times while our kids have been in school, thanks to the military. We always choose to live where there are excellent public schools. It has always worked for us.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Move. Why are you where you are? We live in a place similar to NY and we choose an expensive suburb that is close because of schools. We couldn't afford the city period.

[MonkeyMama]

Why send your kid to preschool in the first place? You can buy some time by just making this a "kindergarten and beyond" worry.

Other than that, ask around, keep your ears open, and find out what other people do.

We personally did not care about preschool, but needed some part-time daycare with spouse at home. Place #1 was a small in-home daycare and was of exceptional value. She just had a heart of gold. Which is all we really wanted - a place for him to socialize and be watched by a motherly figure. I had a friend at the time who bought into the crazy expensive private preschool and she actually ended up switching her kid over. She was eventually able to see past the hype.

Unfortunately, preschool #1 closed up. When seeking out options the obvious solutions were "parent participation preschools" or "community preschool". (We looked at more daycares but our expectations were too high at that point, and our kids were much older). What we found is a woman who ran a preschool in her home for MUCH cheaper than those "traditionally cheaper" alternatives. She just marketed herself to stay-home moms and ran a healthy business on volume.

{We had never intended to utilize daycare or preschool and my spouse was at home, so price was everything to us. We had not saved up a penny for the expenditure. But we made it work. Our kids had other plans than our own}.

As to public school - we utilize a public charter school. They can be very hard to get into, so admittedly we got lucky. But, it helps *not* to go where everyone perceives is the BEST school. There are certainly other schools that are excellent but just aren't being stampeded by the herd. Actually look under the hood of these schools - don't judge solely by other's perceptions. In our city, most people stampede for kinder but give up after that. So you might have more luck getting child in 1st or 2nd grade. The reality is everyone I know who wanted to get into a particular school eventually did. But only if willing to move kids mid-school-year (if you get on a wait list) or mid grade-school.

Seriously and truly, talk to your neighbors and network. The public charter school my kids attended didn't even exist when they were born. We heard about it early on through the grapevine and were able to secure our children's admission by volunteering during the school's formation.

[snafu]

We all want the best for our children and to be able to give them benefits we didn't have. Giving your child a good education is every bit as important as you believe. While moving is really difficult, it's an option worth considering. There are endless studies that conclude the 1st five years of a child's life set the tone for their attitude and scholastic successes.

The economy has strengthened and there may be more opportunities for all of you in other locations on every front than you and DH have considered. If either you or DH have extended family elsewhere for support, I suggest being in touch for their input and outline of opportunities in their locale. How do you feel about homeschooling? Would it be an alternate to explore?

[feh]

It bums me out when I hear stories such as this. I've been fortunate to live in a state and counties within that state that take public education seriously. Our public schools are very good, so we don't have this dilemma.

Speaking from a position of ignorance, I'd say your best bet is to move.

[Like2Plan]

Move. Why are you where you are? We live in a place similar to NY and we choose an expensive suburb that is close because of schools. We couldn't afford the city period.

LAL,
Do,you live in the Boston area?