Financial Classes

[fruitbowlk]

I didn't grow up poor and I'm not poor now and I don't like dealing with people that are poor minded. What I mean by that is I dislike people that are always talking about how broke they are. Let face it everyone pays bill. If you create bill you will have to pay them. I don't create unnecessary bills for I (cable, credit cards loans etc) so I can travel and buy nice things and eat healthy and buy my child lunch instead of signing up for free lunch. So why should I be judged by someone that spend there money on name brand clothes and eating out every chance they get and going to bars and refuse to save at lease 10 percent of there salary and have no EF or Retirement or car fund etc? I put effort in not being broke, I take classes to learn all I can, I save my money, I started my Retirement plan in my early twenties and I eat at home 95 percent of the time and when I go out to eat I use coupons, I shop on the clearance racks and at consignment sales. So I'm not ashamed that I'm BLESSED and won't let anyone take the great feeling away from me.

[bigdaddybus]

Interesting thread.

I would say I stayed in the same economic class as my parents (2.5X median income for the area) and my wife has moved up a class.(approx median income earners)

What's interesting in our families is that most of the relatives from my side of the family are the same (white collar/good incomes) and most on her side of the family are the same (blue collar/ moderate incomes). My family has a lot of dual income households, hers has a lot of stay at home moms. Her family values time with family over money, mine tends to value making good money and the things that it provides.

I feel blessed to have them all in my life. as a young man I was the entitled/keeping up with the Jones type. I think I have grown with my wife's help to a well rounded mix.

[Fishindude77]

There are good & bad people at all income levels.
Hang out with who you like hanging out with and stay away from who you don't like. Pretty simple stuff.

Also ... be a little more open minded. You're not going to change people and they are not inherently bad people just because the way they look at money is different than yours.

[DaveInPgh]

In honor of Fishindude's resurrection of this 2013 thread.

[Fishindude77]

Opps, sorry !
How do these several year old threads keep showing up under "new posts"?
It's a near daily occurrence.

Cool zombie !

[sv2007]

Okay so recently more and more I find myself not liking the people I meet or hang out with. I am often now on the lookout for new friends and often times I do things solo with my kids and hope to meet new and different stay at home moms. Why?

Did you jump financial classes? I feel like I sometimes don't fit into the new financial class. Is this the way it's going to be? How do you feel jumping classes? Do you fit in or not?

It can be just that those moms have known each other for a while and your, being new, needs a bit more time to join in and feel as comfortable as they.

When I was working from home while taking care of my son (who was 2-3 yr old at the time), I made it a point to bring him to the park to socialize every mornings. I was not really part of the moms/nannies group (just said hi and bye but didn't join their conversations) until when one of the moms just started to watch my son for me while I was on a phone call. After that, I realized that they are really friendly and we had lots to talk about. I even invited a few over for lunch cooking a special Chinese noodle dish that I bragged about. So, it seems that I was what was keeping me from socializing.

I'm not saying this may be you, but it does illustrate that sometimes my personality/pre-assumption is the only thing that keeps me away. There're other mom groups that I didn't even think of joining: mainly the language barrier, but I think they'd be just as nice if I can understand their language. I joined the white (which included mostly whites but the language is English) and Chinese (which speaks Chinese) groups.

A lot of what we discuss doesn't have anything to do with finanicals/money. It's about which dentist are you using for your kid? Gossip about school internal politics (i.e. this teach/that teacher's history). Which day care (basically cheapest best day care, yes, it does exist); kids behaviour (in public and at home), etc. These are conversation that anyone can join; basically if you are in the neighborhood, you'd probably have something to say and want to know something.

So, maybe try again? or keep trying? You can always move the subject to something you like. I talked about cooking a lot because it is one of my interested.

As for different social/economic classes, I think it is actually less segregated than before because property values have risen so much. Very pronounced in the bya area, but also true everywhere based on house price appreciation. I.e. you've got the originals who don't make much money and the newcomers with money, but everybody lives just fine.

But if those folks you talk to are treuly snobs, then I guess maybe go to a different location with the kids? There should be many around town. I think kids should have friends their age, so I'd put a priority in this area.

[sv2007]

Same people have made comments about how they'd never let their kids eat school lunches which is unhealthy and not organic. Or comments about how people feed their kids junk and cheap food. Truth is a lot of people probably are doing the best the can afford.

A different friend talks about how she set aside $250k when her daughter was born from her trust for college. I meant the reality is how can you afford that if you didn't inherit it? It's hard to understand people talking about sales on $300 jackets and stuff when you can't fathom spending that much for a kid?

I find myself trying to avoid some of these people. MM I found myself more and more missing where I grew up. And people wonder why I desire to move back. These are not millionaires next door, rather they are the Joneses.

School lunch isn't too healthy, esp if the kid throws out the fruit/vegetable (they aren't individually selected so you got unripe fruits like green apples or unappetizing greens). It is cheap at $1.75/kid for 1 main course (e.g. a slice of pizza), 1 milk, and 1 fruit/veg, but it isn't healthy.

Instead of telling our son how bad school lunch is, we make it into a treat by letting him pick 1 day to buy lunch (it is almost always pizza day; and their pizza is NOT made there or even heated up there, it's stacked in boxes that's delivered an hour before, so it is cold pizza).

Of course some Indian kids (vegetarians) are getting meat dishes by "forgetting" their packed lunches. I make sure those kids take their pack lunches to the cafeteria; I was recess/lunch volunteer for the first 10 days of school. The things I see is pretty amazing.

As for college savings, I don't think it comes up much (I can't even remember the last time I talked to a friend about it). But if it does, you can always take everything under consideration. BTW, I don't think too many people can swing $250k just any day, even among my friends. Yes, $250k probably isn't hard to them to come up with, but it'll probably mean tapping their house for many. So that may be just for that 1 person; it'll be interesting if it is for all of those folks you meet.

[bigdaddybus]

Interesting thread.

I would say I stayed in the same economic class as my parents (2.5X median income for the area) and my wife has moved up a class.(approx median income earners)

What's interesting in our families is that most of the relatives from my side of the family are the same (white collar/good incomes) and most on her side of the family are the same (blue collar/ moderate incomes). My family has a lot of dual income households, hers has a lot of stay at home moms. Her family values time with family over money, mine tends to value making good money and the things that it provides.

I feel blessed to have them all in my life. as a young man I was the entitled/keeping up with the Jones type. I think I have grown with my wife's help to a well rounded mix.

It brought a smile to my face to read my post from 2013, as my wife and I recently moved out of suburbia and into a rural small town. The older I get the more I value quality of quantity in quite a few things in life

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Bigdaddy, how is it moving closer to family? Are the commutes still okay?

SV2007 I just left the area and have enjoyed it greatly. Much different lifestyle and I prefer it. More my speed now. Although I have made friends my neighbors suck. So even in somewhere I like and enjoy there can be issues. LOL. And most people I knew swung $250k for college tuition upon birth. Most admitted they had trust funds and their kids did too.

[sv2007]

Bigdaddy, how is it moving closer to family? Are the commutes still okay?

SV2007 I just left the area and have enjoyed it greatly. Much different lifestyle and I prefer it. More my speed now. Although I have made friends my neighbors suck. So even in somewhere I like and enjoy there can be issues. LOL. And most people I knew swung $250k for college tuition upon birth. Most admitted they had trust funds and their kids did too.

Having lived in rich-ish neighborhoods and poor-ish neighboorhoods, I think I can understand if someone feels out of place. Everybody drives luxury cars; our next door neighbor bought the same van (as ours) for their nanny to carry their kids around. We used to joke around that we drive what their nannies drive : ) But they were very nice people; in fact, money doesn't come up in conversations.

So, $250k becomes $500k without knowing how much college will cost 18 years from now? It isn't something I'd do personally but I wouldn't be bothered if another person does it. But having the means to do so vs not may be our mental difference; although I'd don't think that it shouldn't be.

We should each live life that we like and within our means; what others do can be taken into considerations but not as an absolute must.

As for trust funds, we also have them. It is a way to protect money from lawsuits. One thing we worry about is lawsuits, and between all the insurances we carry, having some money locked away (irrevocable trusts) is good. It also protects from remarriages for people who likes to divorce.

As for college education, we just plan to pay it out of our taxable accounts. I had wanted to invest in a 529 plan, but wife decided against that. She usually has the final say in finances.

[DaveInPgh]

It also protects from remarriages for people who likes to divorce.

I don't think I have ever met anyone that likes to divorce. That sounds a bit strange to me.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Maybe a better way of saying people who like to be married but ditch it at the first sign of divorce.