Why People Want What They Can't Have

[Doublejm1]

I read an article that argues that we're always driven to want something more, especially when it concerns material possessions. That brand new watch loses its appeal real fast; before we know it, we're angling for a shiny necklace.

I think this explains, in part, why so many of us have the urge to "keep up with the Joneses." Instead of thinking that we already have more than so many people out there, we harp on the fact that others have more than us -- thus, we yearn for that which is unobtainable, or above our means.

What's your take on this? Is it possible for us to reach a point where we're content with the material possessions we own, or do we have an innate need in us to always strive for something better?

[ruffy]

I think human beings are always going to strive for more, even if it has nothing to do with material possessions. As far as wanting stuff goes, I sort of grew out of what other people wanted as a kid and started spending on things I liked like music. I do, however, strive for the better paycheck and so on.

[disneysteve]

One definition of happiness is being satisfied with what you have. I've met many poor people who are happy and many rich people who are miserable. It isn't about money or possessions. It is about satisfaction.

I've gotten to a point where I'm pretty happy with my life and what I've got. I'm pretty low maintenance. I hardly ever buy anything for myself. Yesterday was my birthday and I got exactly zero gifts from my family because they all know there is nothing that I want or need. Wait, my MIL gave me $20 in my card but that was it.

Sure there are things that would probably be nice to have - a bigger tv, a faster computer, a fancier car, etc. but I'm not unhappy because I don't have them. I'd much rather see my investment portfolio growing and know that I'll be able to retire comfortably while I'm still young enough to enjoy life.

[UnknownXV]

I find the happiest people are those who pursue freedom more than material possessions.

[greenskeeper]

considering how much we are bombarded with advertisements on a daily basis for the "latest and greatest" the masses can get sucked into that vortex of keeping up with the joneses.

[ua_guy]

I'm annoyed by the article, actually. The site was horribly clunky and infiltrated by ads, and then the writer described all the situations where we can possibly want something we can't have, and then didn't really get into the "why."

We know people try to keep up with this mythical Jones family, but why? Or, we know people want bigger and nicer things, but why?

Some of the obvious benefits come in the form of additional function, automation, comfort. In general, I believe people are hedonistic, so part of the want is to satisfy our hedonistic desires.

As mentioned above, and to expand, I think we're also dealing with issues of contentment. Not happiness, but contentment. Just because I want a newer/prettier car doesn't mean I'm an unhappy person. Contentment is largely a discipline. It's keeping things, standing by decisions, and not changing course given known or unknown alternatives. A lot of people struggle with this on the chance the alternative *might* be better, and they are poor analysts with regards to net benefit/gain and also understanding of their actual needs.

The other big contributor is insecurity, and it explains why the "journey" is sometimes more exciting than the destination, or having the object of our desire in our posession. We're often more in love with the idea than the object itself, and insecurity is an endless void. It doesn't go away until we make some painful admissions to ourselves or overcome our own judgements. That's why people can cycle through cars, jewlery, watches, etc without flinching. Each one promises the purchase will fill a void that the object itself can't actually fulfill (i.e. an expensive car won't actually make you rich, a coveted piece of designer clothing won't fix a perceptibly ugly face, having the same piece of personal technology as everyone in your office won't make you part of the "in" crowd at work.

$0.02...

[Doublejm1]

I find the happiest people are those who pursue freedom more than material possessions.

I recently read an article that says people value experiences more highly than they do material possessions.