DH just told me he has stage 4 kidney disease

[scfr]

I'm sorry that you are both going through this.

Regarding access to your credit union account, it probably depends on your state's laws and the way the account is set up. If you are really concerned about it and you have the means to do so, consider setting up another account in just your name with enough money to cover one or two months' expenses.

Regarding health insurance, you MAY (it's not automatically guaranteed ... depends on things like size of employer) be able to continue coverage under COBRA. You can read up on COBRA at the Department of Labor web site. You may also want to look in to individual policies. Not that you will want to take out an individual policy right now, but just to know what your options are. (I've never had to deal with anything nearly as difficult as what you are going through, but I do worry less and am better able to deal with tough situations when I know I have options.)

[tulog]

I am on the lease and we have a joint account with a credit union. Will there be any issues if both of our names are on there?...

In a joint account with right of survivorship, the property passes directly to you without becoming part of his estate. In theory, this is all good for you. I would make sure that none of your joint property could be used to pay any of his separate medical bills. Don't pay any of his bills voluntarily from your joint funds. If it becomes necessary to pay a bill, he should pay it from his separate property or from his separate credit card, or if he passes his estate should pay it. If he has credit card debt when he passes, don't pay it. You can, if necessary, settle for pennies on the dollar if you can emphasize during a call to the credit company that there are not sufficient monies in the estate relative to the debts to pay the full amounts due creditors.

In the event of his death you'd present his death certificate to the credit union to become the sole owner. You would have complete responsibility to pay tax for earnings on the account from that point forward.

If the lease is for a specified term the tenancy continues until the end of the lease term, with responsibility for the rest of the lease term passing to the tenant's executor. At the end of the lease term, you can negotiate a new lease for yourself. If he dies in the rental unit, your landlord must disclose the fact of the death to any future renters. Depending on the sensitivity of your area to tenants living in such rentals, you may be able to negotiate to keep your own rental rate lower based on this information.

...He's declining extremely quickly. The bone is now infected in his foot despite all the antibiotics they have been pumping into him. The doctors have no idea why he is being taken down so quickly since he manages his weight and blood sugar excellently.

If he is not feeling well enough to do physical exercise, and despite him managing his weight and blood sugar, his immune system is going to be weak from the lack of physical exercise. Any efforts he can make in this area will be rewarded by improved performance of his immune system. High intensity exercise is best for this purpose.

[hamchan]

He is still lifting weights six days a week. There isn't really any cardio he can do because of the foot infection, which he just found out has reached the bone. The gym has a cardio machine that just uses arms, but he basically just does it long enough to warm up. He is not allowed to do any more walking than is strictly necessary, nor can he use the stationary bike or elliptical or anything like that. And obviously with an open infected wound he will not be swimming either. Any cardio he does has to be done in a seated position which cuts down options a lot.

[debtfreeme]

I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you, DH and DD.

[hamchan]

DH went in yesterday morning for wound care and wound up getting admitted for emergency surgery to drain the infection. So far it is isolated to the fifth toe and metatarsal. They put in a PICC line and he has to infuse antibiotics 3X a day. If the infection does not improve quickly they will be amputating a portion of his foot. He went in to work today and is going to talk to his manager about the possibility of telecommuting until his foot heals.

The amount we are having to spend in copays is ramping up dramaticjally. We have the money for it, but that is hundreds of dollars that cannot be saved or put towards other debts. We are trying to both take time off in November for a short vacation together, but I fear that it just might not be able to happen because of money, his health, or both. I fear that we just waited too long. There is a considerable chance that these antibiotics are going to further damage his kidneys, and unfortunately this whole experience is only strengthening his resolve to not do dialysis. I try to change his mind every day, but it's not working.

[tulog]

You are doing what you can. Some things may be out of your control.

[tulog]

I have one more idea, directed at increasing his will to live, and general fighting spirit.


Testosterone supplementation. A man's test levels naturally fall as they age; a low test level can affect physicality and mood. Supplementing test, for someone with low levels, can be effective. Testosterone implies action, ability, and strength.

[hamchan]

The last time they checked his test levels they were a little higher than the normal ranges, but he has been doing research and thinks it might be beneficial to supplement with it anyway. He is hoping to get his doctor on board to try it.