age and money

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I was contemplating where I am financially and I was wondering if this is how all people feel. In my 20s I didn't worry so much about money because I had so little of it I just worried about staying out of debt and living within my means. Then my income grew and in my 30s (now) I have more to spend and more to save but it feels tighter than in my 20s. Is it in my 40s when I really stop worrying about money because we'll be in a very secure spot?

Do people in their 40s and older feel more secure? Have you reached that sweet spot of knowing you can afford anything you wanted and not worry? That you have all your financial ducks in order?

I feel like we're getting there and are definitely way ahead of the curve and most people our age, but I still feel like we're to quote MMM "surfing the wave and not riding ahead yet."

[moneybags]

Do people in their 40s and older feel more secure? Have you reached that sweet spot of knowing you can afford anything you wanted and not worry? That you have all your financial ducks in order?

Nope! I'm in my 40's. I don't worry about affording anything in the present day, and I have all my financial ducks in order. I don't feel secure because I feel like we need so much money in retirement, which almost feels unattainable. In addition, there are things out of our control like huge market crashes!

[disneysteve]

I was contemplating where I am financially and I was wondering if this is how all people feel. In my 20s I didn't worry so much about money because I had so little of it I just worried about staying out of debt and living within my means. Then my income grew and in my 30s (now) I have more to spend and more to save but it feels tighter than in my 20s. Is it in my 40s when I really stop worrying about money because we'll be in a very secure spot?

Sorry but no. Getting older and accumulating wealth doesn't make you worry less. If anything, I think it makes you worry more. You have more concerns, more responsibilities. Are we saving enough? How will we pay for our child's education? Will we be able to retire when we want to? Is our portfolio allocated properly? What effect will a major market downturn have? When you are young and broke, those things don't matter. A stock market crash doesn't affect you if you have no money invested. When you have 6 or 7 figures invested, however, you are much more concerned about that.

So at 48 years old, do I feel my financial ducks are in a row? Yes. I think we're doing okay and are on track to meet our goals. Does that mean I don't worry about it all though? Absolutely not. Personally, in the past couple of months I've worried about how we are managing since my wife left her job in May. I'm also looking ahead to our daughter starting college next year and worrying about all of the financial implications of that life change. And as my almost 83-year-old mother ages, I worry about the implications of that. Will we need to spend money to help care for her in the future? And professionally, I worry about the future of the medical field. It isn't looking at all promising and I don't know if my job will still exist long enough for me to reach retirement age. As the Affordable Care Act gets rolled out and other changes occur, who knows what I'll be doing 5 or 10 years from now. I doubt that our current practice model will still be viable.

[shaggy]

I was so poor in my 20s, money was a constant worry. One time my then-husband had to sell blood plasma so we could buy food.

You never get over an experience like that. Now that I'm older and have a good income, I still worry that I don't have enough saved and that I will end up broke and eating cat food.

[kork13]

Caveat: I'm only 27, so take my thoughts & experience for what they are (or aren't).

I think having a limited amount of financial stress is good for all of us. If we all felt that life was good, the money was no problem, and we could afford our lives with ease, then we would all be lazy and irresponsible with our money. Just take a look at lottery winners or beneficiaries of large inheritances. So I feel that having some worry about our finances makes us all control our expenses better, save better, and generally think more carefully about how we manage our money. The only time I even want to feel totally secure in my finances without a worry is when I'm about a year out from retirement.

For the time in my life that I'm at, I do feel SAFE (though not secure) in my finances. I make a healthy income that covers my expenses and still allows me to save aggressively, relatively low debt (ignoring the mortgage... that's a beast to look at, even though it's totally reasonable for me), and my expenses are well-controlled. I still have some concerns about my finances (clearing my debt, increasing my savings, and raising my cash reserves, plus the looming specter of the unknowable future), but it's not debilitating or frightening in any way.

If ever you DO feel frightened by your finances, THAT'S when you need to take a hard look, re-evaluate your finances, and possibly get some help in fixing your financial life. Some money stress is good and healthy. Actual fear about money is a BIG problem. (**and I say "you" as a general term, not meaning you specifically, LAL)

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I guess that's it. Our mortgage is a beast but going to get worse as we buy our next home. We aren't done with kids and I worry how we'll afford it. I wonder if we can. I thought as we made more we'd be more relaxed.

Yet in some ways I worry more than before. I wonder if we will know we're saving enough?

[disneysteve]

I thought as we made more we'd be more relaxed.

That would probably only be true if you didn't elevate your spending in the process. Keep your lifestyle stable as your income increases and your worries would likely decrease. The problem is that virtually nobody does that. As we make more, we spend more. Just make sure that you also boost savings along the way too.

[snafu]

I'd describe us as cautiously optimistic. I enjoy the challenges of being mindful of spending reaching/exploring more frugal ways of meeting family goals. We've two sons in university [horrid family planning 20 yrs ago] and so far - so good meeting goals avoiding SLs. Just now I'm fretting more about inches that crept to waist than how investment portfolio is increasing. I'm blaming home made bread which is ridiculously cheap to make but oh so difficult to remove from your waist after 40.

[FrugalSensei]

I don't think the worrying stops, just the focus of the worrying. My poor friend's parents in their early 70's then whamo - the company that the main bread winner retired from said they were stopping the medical insurance benefits!

I echo the thoughts of others that say that some worrying is probably always good for those 'what ifs' in life.

Such is the life of all but the wealthiest

[dawnwes]

No, if anything, I worry far more now.

In my 20s I wasn't married nor did I have children. All the money I made was mine and I didn't need to worry about feeding or educating anyone else. I didn't even give retirement a 2nd thought. I was just starting my career! Granted, my retirement was built in to my benefits, so I did pay into it, but it didn't worry me at all.

We make far more now in our 40s, but I worry about college costs, kids' safety, mortgage payments on the larger house to accommodate said children, retirement looming in the next 20+ years, etc.....

[Caoineag]

That would probably only be true if you didn't elevate your spending in the process. Keep your lifestyle stable as your income increases and your worries would likely decrease. The problem is that virtually nobody does that. As we make more, we spend more. Just make sure that you also boost savings along the way too.

I think this is why I have a contrarian view. While we have had some lifestyle creep, all of that creep was consciously chosen and the savings has accelerated at a far greater rate. I feel like my 20s were tight but that my 30s (early 30s here) has brought breathing room. Also, I don't worry about financial matters, I plan. Its easier for my stress levels to control the things I can and adjust as necessary around the things I can't control.

Now if only I could do that with my job...

[disneysteve]

I think this is why I have a contrarian view. While we have had some lifestyle creep, all of that creep was consciously chosen and the savings has accelerated at a far greater rate.

Same here. When we were in our 20s, we were saving 6% of our take home pay. Now in our 40s, we save 23% of our gross pay - a big difference. There has been lifestyle creep (great term) for sure but it has been done in the context of greater savings as well. I agree that planning is critical but that doesn't stop me from being concerned about the future.

[bennkar]

Living with a financially irresponsible ex, I was unable to start saving until my mid 30's. 15 years (and one divorce) later, I'm saving more than 50% of my take home pay (457 & Roth IRA mostly). I felt safe about 6 years ago, secure maybe 2 years ago (when the mortgage was paid off).

Can I afford anything I want? I guess, but then again my wants are pretty simple so I don't need all that much. Starting September things will be interesting as my retirement plans will be maxed out for this year, and my take home pay will double .

[Jerry91]

People can reach 40 or more and feel secure only if they have managed their money well. They should have a good amount of savings and an emergency fund. Also, in order to feel secure, they should be at the fag end of their mortgage payments/car loans/student loans, etc. You should remember that situation and vary and you won't be able to generalise it by saying that people aged 40 or more are financially secured.

[feh]

Sorry but no. Getting older and accumulating wealth doesn't make you worry less. If anything, I think it makes you worry more. You have more concerns, more responsibilities. Are we saving enough? How will we pay for our child's education? Will we be able to retire when we want to? Is our portfolio allocated properly?

For the most part, I agree with Steve. I'm 47 and will likely retire in the next 5 years. We have no debt, our son's 529 is completely funded, and we've saved a nice nest egg.

What happens is that over time, one concern is simply replaced by another. When you're young, it's saving for a car or house DP. Later, it's funding retirement and kids' education. Near/after retirement, it's wondering about how to make your money last until you kick the bucket.

I could see not thinking about money at all if you get to a place where conservative, passive income provides much more than you need to live on. Given our standard of living, that probably equates to $2.5-3.0 million.