Are you prepared

[cercis]

If your SO leaves you (through death, divorce or other) are you prepared to take over all the bills, etc alone?

Do you know, that even though the judge can divide the debts in the divorce order, the lien owners are not required to abide by that order? If you signed the debt, you can be held accountable. And if your ex does not have a job or cannot be located, your paycheck can be garnished.

This came up on another board where they are claiming that women who work out of the home are inherently in a better position than women who stay at home. I find that a bunch of bull. Neither one is inherently better off than the other. Both have to have planned.

So have you planned?

My plan has always included not taking on as much debt as we technically could. We bought a house that is $40k less than we qualified for. When I stayed at home, I made sure to keep resume building activities going. I made lots of contacts (of course, they were all in a different field and none of them panned out) and I took college classes (again, different field).

For death, my plan has been life insurance and, I'll admit it, social security benefits. I know that if DH was to die today, I would collect almost as much from SS as he currently makes. Between that and the life insurance, I will be in a pretty good position.

Divorce would be harder, but that's where being in the legal field comes in handy. Plus, if he turned into a total cad, his parents and grandparents would make sure that his child support was paid, even if they had to do it themselves. Knowing his mom, she'd even offer to have me move in with her.

[kristinecfp]

Re: Are you prepared

Divorce would be harder...

Good point! I know how to plan for the untimely death of a SO (life insurance, beneficiary designations on assets, etc.), but how do you plan for a possible divorce? With the divorce rate so high these days, seems like you SHOULD plan for the possibility of divorce, but I don't know anyone who does. Food for thought...

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Are you prepared

Hubby and I both came into our relationship after having been burned big time by previous relationships and very open eyed. We ARE a team, but I'm one that always has to know that if necessary I can do it alone. I have to have a reserve to sleep well at night, had to dig out before and always need to know I can do it again.

The main farm is a mutual debt in both of our names, the front 36 acres are in MY name, I had a nest egg that went into it and if absolute worse came to worse this will cover me. This WAS a sticking point early on in the relationship but we've worked it out, I'm one that can't be totally "engulfed" by another person, I need my "out" to be comfortable.

And we've joked that we can't get divorced, someone would end up stuck with all the STUFF!

If God forbid hubby would pass away I would have a widows pension, some things would have to change but I could keep at least part of the farm. If I were to pass away selling the horse herd would make it possible for him to keep the farm.

kj

[Bluezy]

Re: Are you prepared

I am prepared, due to the fact that I refuse to bring a SO into my life and to my Wee CJ's life. We will survive just fine by ourselves.

[sweeps]

Re: Are you prepared

A couple who trusts each other enough to plan ahead for their divorce... Now that is a special couple indeed.

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Are you prepared

Many have prenups to cover this eventuality, it's a sad fact of life in the world today.

I used to say I couldn't even spell divorce let alone get one, that was before the ex's lies and deception almost ruined my life.

Do we have a plan for divorce? NO

What my previous post states is that I need to always know that I CAN care for myself if the need arises

kj

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Are you prepared

I have no plans for divorce, none, it ain't happening! When I said 'till death do us part' I meant it! (so did he!)

But for loss, well Money would be an issue, but the paperwork, wouldn't be any harder than neccessary, I do the paperwork now, I would have access to it then. And while he wouldn't be as easy to do it for me, It is all in one place for him to deal with as needed.

[Lemony]

Re: Are you prepared

I'm a SAHM and if DH died, I'd be just fine while I get over the grief. I probably wouldn't have to go back to work for 4 or 5 years. But if I died, DH would be S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

Divorce is unlikely. We have an agreement that if one of us decides to leave, that person has to take the kids with them. Since neither of us can raise these monsters on our own, we'll never leave.

[Lostsoul33]

Re: Are you prepared

"We have an agreement that if one of us decides to leave, that person has to take the kids with them. Since neither of us can raise these monsters on our own, we'll never leave".

I can so relate to that statement above Lemony.
If hubby died, I would sell the house and I would be okay until the kids were in school. I'm a stay at home mom right now.
If I died (and we just talked about this the other day) he would sell the house and continue to work. He would be okay. Only thing is he wouldn't have me here to keep him in line. This is a guy that when he gets extra money, he thinks of a big purchase to buy. I'm trying to change that mindset and have him thinking that he should be putting it into savings.

[Ima saver]

Re: Are you prepared

Being older, I have thought about this. No chance of divorce, we have been in love too long. I know how to handle the money issues, but I am no good at keeping up a house. I would have to sell this big house with the 2 acre lawn and move to something smaller. I only have a small amount of life insurance on dh so that wouldn't help much. But, I think with our savings, the sale of the house and vehicles and the little social security I would get, I could get by. It would be the loneliness that I could not stand as I have no family and very few friends.
Hubby could keep working so he would be fine, but I am sure he would sell here and go back to Fla. if his father is still alive. Not sure what he would do, guess we should talk about it.