Is saving a compulsion for you?

[Mjenn]

I admit that sometimes I can get a little controlling with my behaviour. In the past I have battled an eating disorder, and I have found my saving is perhaps a healthier way to express control over my life. That said, sometimes it reaches a fever pitch. I become absolutely terrified to actually purchase something.

We have been going back and forth - my husband and I-about renting a new place, everytime I think 'yes, we can do this' I break out into a cold sweat and feel like I am going to throw up. I end up always backing down and saying 'no, I don't want to do this.'

I wonder how much of this is because I am a 'great saver' and how much of this is just a way for me to feel in 'control' over something. I don't spend a lot of money, I have never had any debt, and I have always had enough money to do what I want to do with it (which is usually travel and enjoy a dinner and drinks out now and then, and also get to share experiences with my family.

The thought of getting a bigger house, just to have more space for stuff, has totally thrown me into panic mode. I cannot sleep or do anything. I had to finally say no because, while I totally blame it on the numbers, I just could not physically do it.

Do you think saving can get unhealthy? Become a compulsion? Have you ever sought help?

[Blessed]

I think anything can become a compulsion. I'm a big saver but it doesn't make me feel sick to purchase or spend. My mom has an eating disorder and it started with a very stressful event as a way to control something in the chaos that was happening beyond her control. I really know nothing about this stuff but something you said rang a bell for me. She is a meticulous planner of ever morsel and calorie. Eating in a situation she can't control makes her go into full panic mode before the event happens. That kind of reminded me about what you said about spending money.

However on the other hand if you worked super hard and put tons of effort into saving it makes sense that you would not be so ready to let it go. Are you worried things may come up in the future and you will find a bigger place is more expensive? That is a valid worry if it could leave your family struggling later. Did you grow up in a family that was short of funds? That could color the way one deals with money also.

If this is really a concern to you it may be something you may want to talk to a professional about.

[bjl584]

Sounds like anxiety. It could be money, but it can manifest itself as anything.

Maybe your issue isn't not wanting to spend money but the anxiety or compulsion that is behind it.

[Mjenn]

Sounds like anxiety. It could be money, but it can manifest itself as anything.

Maybe your issue isn't not wanting to spend money but the anxiety or compulsion that is behind it.

It is definitely an anxiety issue - and I have already called to make an appointment with someone, because I think it maybe getting a little out of control. I have struggled with anxiety in the past, but thought I had things under control. Guess not.

But yes, my fear is for the future. I really don't think the pay off is worth the extra expense, and I would rather use the money towards other things. But as my husband rightly points out, when those other things come up, I don't want to spend money on them either.

I did not grow up in a family where money was tight, but I have worked and had expenses - my own horse for example, since I was 14. I had to save and worry about things like the horse's dental care, new shoes and all types of things that 'might be necessary sooner rather than later. It taught me a world of good about how to take care of funds (I paid for it with a job, some inheritence, and some money from my parents, but I was supposed to take part of a lot of the budgeting). I have never really felt comfortable if I didn't know I had a soft cushion of funds to fall into. Strangely my brother is the exact opposite.

ETA: Don't know if it is the source of my recent troubles, but my parents, who were always rather good about saving and not overspending got royally screwed by insurance right before retirement and it almost wiped them dry. Maybe this is a part of that fear?

[Blessed]

That is very possible Mjenn.

[MarryChristopher]

Yes Saving is compulsory for me due to worst financial conditions in our country.

[Jimhassel]

Saving is not a compulsion for me but it certainly has become a habit. Whatever be my earnings, I save a little amount for the leaner times because you never know when you can get fired in such times of recession. It is only after I have kept that aside do I party and eat out although this also draws flak from my loved ones.

[snafu]

Savings has been a habit for me since teen years. I picked 10 % and stuck to the 'pay myself first' philosophy taking 10% off the top of any and all income, no matter the source. There have been times I've had to backslide and transfer some back but that is always accompanied by cut backs and tightening of discretionary spending.

Fact is, unless you're no longer in the workforce, there are always opportunities to earn more income but a lot of life's experiences and opportunities only come once-in-a-while. I suggest trying to base spending decisions on fact rather than emotion. Perhaps write a pro & con outline identifying what the big ticket item gives you and the negatives other than temporary reduction in savings. I think you've agreed, being stuck on emotion isn't very healthy.