Crazy Bachelor Party Costs

[phantom]

My husband was invited to attend the bachelor party of a guy he works with. At first he said he could probably go. Then he got an email from the guy organizing the party that changed his mind.

The guy organizing proposes meeting at the hotel where the wedding will be held and several of the guests are staying for a drink or two, then to taking a limo to a steak house about 30 min. away. From the steak house, they would take the limo to a casino about 10 min. away for more drinks and gambling. Finally, they would take the limo back to the hotel.

The fun comes when you start putting numbers with it. The guy organizing the party would like $75 from everyone for the limo, regardless of whether or not they want to ride in the limo or just meet up later. An entree and a side at the steak house average $70 a person (including tax and tip but not a drink). Add in some drinks along the way, a drink for the groom, and some money for gambling, and the total cost of the evening could easily get to $200 or more.

Luckily, my husband agrees with me that he's better off skipping the party and has already told the guy organizing it that he can't go. So, I don't have to look like a bad guy by telling him no.

But, I'm curious what others here think about the whole thing. Would you spend $200 on a coworkers's bachelor party? How about on a best friend's or brother's? Have you ever spent that much on that sort of thing?

[disneysteve]

Would you spend $200 on a coworkers's bachelor party? How about on a best friend's or brother's? Have you ever spent that much on that sort of thing?

I would't hesitate if it was someone I was close to like a best friend, brother, etc. I wouldn't do it for a casual acquaintance like a co-worker.

Of course, if there was going to be a casino involved, I'd also need a lot more than $200 .

[GREENBACK]

I can't help but wonder if there aren't a couple of hidden costs there It is a bachelor party afterall.

[disneysteve]

We actually ran into this problem a few years ago. A lifelong friend of my wife's was getting married and both she and our daughter were in the wedding party. The problem wasn't the bachelor/bachelorette parties but rather the dinner the night before. Both the couple and most of the wedding party lived out of state (Delaware) but the wedding was being held in Philadelphia. The person making the plans never thought to ask us for advice since we live here. They booked rooms at one of the priciest hotels in town and made dinner plans for Shula's steakhouse which is at the hotel. For those not familiar with Shula's, it is the kind of place where everything is a la carte and a baked potato runs about $7. I don't remember exactly what the tab came to but dinner for 3 of us with drinks, tax and tip was not cheap. Even though we don't live that far away, we opted to spend the night at the hotel so that everyone was together and didn't have to rush in the morning when the girls were all having their hair done onsite.

Were we thrilled with the cost? No. We did it anyway and would do it again. We just wished they would have sought some local advice because we could have recommended equally nice but far cheaper places to stay and dine right in the same immediate area.

[JoshuaHeckathorn]

What people choose to spend their money on and how much they choose to spend is all relative. You might be willing to spend $200 on something else that this guy wouldn't dream spending his cash on. That said, I probably wouldn't join if it was just a co-worker of mine.

[YLTL_Dan]

If it was someone I didn't necessarily like... then yes, $200 is too much for me to go

That being said, it's all relative to how close you are with the person and how much you have to spend. If I was deeply in debt, I'd have a hard time justifying going further into debt for someone's bachelor party. My last two friend's bachelor parties were in Las Vegas and Colorado... both involved flights, hotels, meals, etc but I had the money to do it I was ok with it.

[caderousse]

But, I'm curious what others here think about the whole thing. Would you spend $200 on a coworkers's bachelor party? How about on a best friend's or brother's? Have you ever spent that much on that sort of thing?

Ha ha you have no idea. $200??? I've played the role of best man for a few weddings and had to organize them. I spent much more than that and don't regret a penny. Life is for the living!

Obviously if it's just a friend of a friend I'm likely to spend less and less. But in general, yes I spend money on things I find fun: hanging with friends, celebrating life's big moments and the occasional throw of the dice at a casino

Also, one of the reasons I can spend on stuff like this is because I budget for it! Ramit Sethi calls this "guilt free spending" and I totally am a follower of his advice. I take care of all my savings, goals, bills, etc up front and the money left over is mine to spend on stuff like this.

[edg126]

As everyone else said it's all a matter of preference. I've planned about 4 bachelor parties now (and actually had mine last saturday). I'd estimate at the end of the day everybody spent about $200 each. We always get a bus, and regardless if you use it or not you have to pay, too many people are cheap and would rather drive drunk than pay the 70 for the bus -- which sucked for my dad who was only going to part of the events but still had to pay. Oh well.

When I host I also charge people an extra 20% of the final bill to pay for whoever bails -- I'm not getting stuck with it.

I've been invited to plenty of bachelor parties where they did tons of crap I wasn't into. Golf during the day, fancy steak dinner, then bar. I just tell them I'll meet them at the bar for a few drinks and done.

I plan awesome bachelor parties and everybody has fun, and I try to be cost conscious to a degree, but there's always some people that complain and it's very simple, pay up or don't go -- it never offended me.

[bjl584]

I wouldn't hesitate to spend $200 on a close friend or on family, but probably not for a coworker unless we were really close friends.

My cousin got married a few years ago, and we took him to the Kentucky Derby for the weekend. That was about a $500 trip, but it was well worth it being that it was a blast and that we are really close.

[disneysteve]

I've planned about 4 bachelor parties now (and actually had mine last saturday). I'd estimate at the end of the day everybody spent about $200 each. We always get a bus, and regardless if you use it or not you have to pay, too many people are cheap and would rather drive drunk than pay the 70 for the bus -- which sucked for my dad who was only going to part of the events but still had to pay. Oh well.

When I host I also charge people an extra 20% of the final bill to pay for whoever bails -- I'm not getting stuck with it.

I plan awesome bachelor parties and everybody has fun, and I try to be cost conscious to a degree, but there's always some people that complain and it's very simple, pay up or don't go -- it never offended me.

I think the whole bachelor/bachelorette party concept has gotten out of hand. When I got married in 1992, my bridal party and I went to a local comedy club and dinner. The whole thing cost each person under $50. No bus. No limo. No airfare to Vegas. No strippers. I don't recall what my wife did with her bridesmaids but I'm positive is was also something low key. And all of our friends did similar stuff. It is only in recent years that the whole party industry has come along catering to this and encouraging people to spend thousands of dollars on these parties. Think about it. If every bachelor and bachelorette party attendee is spending $200 and there are 10-12 people involved, that's over $2,000 being blown on these events. Go out to dinner. See a show. Go to a club. Have a couple of drinks. If you want to spend money, give a better gift to the bride and groom.

[YLTL_Dan]

I think the whole bachelor/bachelorette party concept has gotten out of hand. It is only in recent years that the whole party industry has come along catering to this and encouraging people to spend thousands of dollars on these parties.

Most of my bachelor parties these days are with college friends that live all around the country. We do destination parties because everyone has to fly in anyway. Also, they usually double as catch-up time for a bunch of friends that only see each other 1-2 times per year. I don't feel like I've been influenced by anyone or any movie (The Hangover) to spend more than I should... some may have though.