Boyfriend wants to break up over me not wanting a conjoined account

[phez]

Who is right, and why? All comments will be taken into consideration, and thank you in advance.

[wonderfulpittance]

Talk it over. First, what are your reasons for refusing? If he feels that you don't trust him just because you refused to open a joined account, I think you have more problems with your relationship than with your financial issues. Second, why would he want to break up just because you refused?

I suggest both of you to look deeper in your relationship.

[Shewillbemine]

Yup, there is no "right" or "wrong" here. If you both continue to insist that one side is correct and the other is wrong, you have deeper problems than that.

Some topics that would probably be relevant here include: who makes more money, what is your/his credit history, are you embarrassed by your financial situation, etc.

[bjl584]

I've said it before when this comes up, be fully aware of each others finances but do not mix them until you are leagally married.

[disneysteve]

I've said it before when this comes up, be fully aware of each others finances but do not mix them until you are leagally married.

I totally agree. I can't think of a single good reason for boyfriend and girlfriend to have a joint account. I can think of lots of good reasons not to. Wait until you are married.

[NolaP]

You are going to have to have a serious discussion over this one. Breaking up over not wanting to have a conjoined bank account seems pretty ridiculous. It seems to me like having a joint account would just be cause for more trouble in the future, unless this is something you both desire and you are in a very serious and long term relationship. Mixing finances is a tricky business.

[NolaP]

You are going to have to have a serious discussion over this one. Breaking up over not wanting to have a conjoined bank account seems pretty ridiculous. It seems to me like having a joint account would just be cause for more trouble in the future, unless this is something you both desire and you are in a very serious and long term relationship. Mixing finances is a tricky business.

Good luck,

Nola

[couchrobt]

I've said it before when this comes up, be fully aware of each others finances but do not mix them until you are leagally married.

Nothing wrong with trying to be close and very open with each other since you are in the relationship, however, it is practically safe to not mix funds just yet. Just to be safe. Nothing wrong with that.

[gpoitras]

Keep it separate until marriage.

[cypher1]

Keep it separate until marriage.

Agreed! Know people with too many horror stories of breakups, and still dealing with ramifications of joint financial accounts/cell phone plans.

[jpg7n16]

You do realize if you're just dating, any money you put into the account, he can just take and run off - and you have no legal support to sue him for it, because it was a jointly owned account and you were both rightful owners of anything in the account.

Break ups are nasty enough even when you're married. But at least the court can decide how much of the account belongs to who.

There is no divorce court in a breakup. There's just 'who can get to the bank first to screw the other one over'

I can't think of a single good reason for boyfriend and girlfriend to have a joint account. I can think of lots of good reasons not to.

So is this a guy you'd want to marry? If shared finances is so important to him, why not get married and solve the problem? Several people on here (myself included) encourage married couples to share finances and bank accounts.

If you wouldn't marry him (or he wouldn't marry you) then why is he good enough to share all your finances with?

[disneysteve]

I'm curious. Has he given any reason for wanting a joint account? Do you live together? Sometimes when two single people live together, they think it is a good idea to have a joint account to pay joint bills like the rent and utilities. It is a really bad idea, but lots of people think it is a good idea. I'm wondering what reason he has given for feeling so strongly about a joint account.

[Angio333]

You are. I don't think that a couple should have joint accounts or live together until they are married.

[MrPolarZero]

a serious talk would patch things up. Trust me

[cschin4]

Giving you Ultimatums - A Big Red Flag Waving Under Your Nose.