Money and relationships

[midnight]

In your opinion, can a relationship last if the two people have different views about money?

[34saving]

Re: Money and relationships

Sure, as long as they can come to a compromise position that works for both. (Of course finding that position is the hard part.)

[Russell]

Re: Money and relationships

I think its very possible as long as both agree on the long term financial goals. However, if the two people have a completely different outlook on the future it would be very tough.

For e.g. someone at my work lives only in the present, he thinks time and money is there to enjoy yourself now (he's 42). He doesn't have a 401K (never did), they have lots of debt, they buy expensive cars, clothes etc. Whenever I try to talk to him about savings, investments, taxes he makes fun of me saying "look at you, at the age of 30 you're worrying about your retirement...when I was 30 blah blah blah...". I once asked him "so imagine tomorrow you're turning 66 and you have no job because you're too old for someone to hire you. What would you do ? How will you pay the rent that's coming up in 2 weeks ? what's your plan ? because this is what retirement is going to be like" - he thought about it for a second and then said "hmm, I guess if I have no money to live I'll go jump off a bridge, afterall I led a good life until now but anyway I'm not gonna worry about that stuff right now..." *sigh*

So a person like him and person like myself could never get along.

However, DW has the same financial goals as me but she's just not as driven or motivated as me and that's OK because sometimes its nice to be reminded that there's more to life than just the paper chase.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Money and relationships

Well my dh & I have dont view money the same way at all. I am very frugal & he is spend spend spend it does cause problems alot somedays I wonder if its worth it But I have my own goals as far as saving & what I do to achieve them We grew up very differently too my mom was a sahm who could really stretch her money & dh's mom worked 2 jobs her whole life & ended up Bk so we defiently were taught differently when it comes to money.

I do try to get dh to see my ways he has also told me the people he knows have filed BK & live down the street & make alot of money I asked him well arent you thankful we dont have that happen to us & he says ya but its because I am a grinch I said I am grinch?? Well are you thankful I am he says yes he is LOL!!! He does see my ways sometimes but not nearly as much as I would like!!!

[Dingoluv4eva]

Re: Money and relationships

in theory, both people have the same goal.

One of the first theories u learn in "Finance"
is that.

Someone who wants to use all the money today, really has the same goal as someone who wants to use all the money in the future.

Cause both want as much money as possible whether to use it all today or whether to do it all in the future.

The theory is based on the fact, that a person can borrow today, from a bank against future income.

CREDIT in other words.
so as long as the 2 individuals have separate accounts. it should work.
both will strive to do the best they can..

Person A who wants to use as much money today as possible, will try to get the best education, job etc, to be able to maximize his credit.
while Person B will strive for the same, to save as much as possible to have for later use.

[Tree0164]

Re: Money and relationships

Money is the major reason why people get divorce. Of course, it usually has to do with lies about money and lack of communication and respect.

While DH and I don't always see eye to eye on money or our personal finance goals. We had blowout this week on how to pay for our car repairs- $1100. He wanted to whip out the credit card (we keep just in case) and use that because he didn't want dig into the emergency fund. It would bring our efund to levels lower than it needed to be. So we compromised.

1. We used our emergency fund cash
2. We made a plan to add back to the efund at $200 per month for 6 months
3. We were making double payments on our current car loan so this stops it for awhile.

I do the managing of the money on a day to day. I keep him in the loop but ask him how much we have saved-he doesn't know

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Money and relationships

Sure, as long as they can come to a compromise position that works for both. (Of course finding that position is the hard part.)

Yeah that

Course it is easier if you start with similar theories and all, but no one said marriage was easy

[debtfreeme]

Re: Money and relationships

hm...my experience is limited on this one but i choose to date people who have the same thoughts regarding money that i do. I don't want to have my kids grow up as i did financially.