Do people think that you are weird about money?

[alternateme]

I have started to be a lot more concerned about money and how I spend it. My friends have noticed this change and they are beginning to think that I am weird. They say I worry too much, that I am young and can worry about it later and that I should just enjoy myself. Is it really weird to be concerned about money and the future? I am surprised that more of my friends haven't joined me and I am beginning to feel like an outcast. How can i change this perception they have of me?

[disneysteve]

Yes, it is weird to be concerned about money. Those of us who frequent sites like this and care about how we spend our money and how much we save are not the norm in this country unfortunately. Most Americans don't give a darn. That's why there is so much debt and so much consumerism. People want what they want when they want it. They don't care if they can afford it or not. They'll worry about that "later" whatever that means.

I spent months debating my decision to get an iPhone, for example. We earn a six-figure income and save 25% of it but I was worried about the $30/month fee it would bring. Several people thought I was nuts to even be concerned about it. But I wanted to be sure I wasn't just buying a costly toy.

On the other hand, someone I work who earns about 20% of what I earn with has an iPhone (the more expensive model than mine). She recently cracked the screen. Someone told her how to replace it via ebay for under $20. She instead went back to Apple and paid $100. She is already talking about buying the new version of the iPhone when it comes out soon. The girl has no money, not a penny in savings and a fair amount of credit card debt, but she simply doesn't care.

How do you change your friends' perception of you? Stop talking about money with them. Live your life. Let them live theirs. If they invite you to do something that you don't feel is worth the money, tell them you've got your money set aside for something else. Don't say, "I can't afford it" unless that is actually true. Twenty or thirty years from now, you'll be sitting pretty and they'll be working until they drop dead because they didn't see the light like you did.

[maat55]

One of my old golf buddies mentioned one time that he had considered collecting money from the other golfers to pay my membership. I told him I had the money, but different prioritized use for it.

[Hector]

Great advice Steve!

OP, you are on the right track. Dont worry about what others think. In this country, its hard to see a person's real financial wealth from outside because of so many available credit vehicles. Once you reach your retirement age, you will able to retire at proper age because you are aware earlier than most of us and you plan accordingly. At that time, your same friends wont have sufficient money to retire and they might need to work till they can to survive. I know, its hard for most of us to see that far and think about retirement even, but its upto us, how do we wanna live. Do we wanna keep buying stuff and not worry about our future and keep paying interest and keep incurring more debt so that we wont have money for our kids education, their wedding, our retirement and piece of mind or do we wanna retire one day and help our kids with their education?

[snafu]

OP, most other cultures value savings. My relatives think I'm weird for refusing to go into debt but I'm the one they call when they're in financial trouble. I use different words with friends, and avoid spendy situations/events.

[rob62521]

I think what the other posters have said rings true. But, you might as well realize your friends don't have the same ideas and they will find ways to make you come around to their thinking because they want to justify their spending. Look at the state of the economy today -- just like the 1920s when people bought so much on credit and when the stock market crashed, the whole economy suffered. This time it was the housing market. Everything goes in cycles. A smart cookie will have money saved so that when bad times happen, and they will, it won't be a total devastation because you'll have a cushion of saving.

If you read what a lot of the people on this site say or listen to financial folks like Suze Orman or Dave Ramsey, they will tell you that waiting until you are older to save makes it harder to come up with the money when you want to retire.

Larry Winget who is a straight shooter wrote in his last book that if your friends don't have the same financial ideas, maybe it is time to get new friends. I think that is drastic, but don't be surprised as you get older and wiser, you may find different friends who share the same money ideas. It's OK to have friends who don't, just don't succumb to their weedling and teasing...you have to do what is right for you.

[ceejay74]

Oh, absolutely. And I changed my ways in my 30s, so it was a weird change for my friends to see one of them, who was probably the worst with credit cards and frivolous spending at social events, suddenly stop going out a ton, start bringing cash to social events and carefully calculate tab + tip, and talk about saving up to buy something. I've never been teased about it though. I'm quite open about why we needed to change, and I welcome anyone who wants to talk about getting on a written budget. I've talked frugality with several friends who were coming to similar revelations as me, though I don't think they got into as serious an amount of debt.

I only have a few acquaintances who spend crazy amounts of money now. They stick out like sore thumbs. And because I've come to a place where I can gauge how much you could spend in the professions they have, I'm fairly sure their futures are not looking good.

I think you can still be friends with your friends, but don't let them talk you into things you don't want to do. At the same time, make sure you are having some fun. You don't need to obsessively save every penny. Just make sure it's the fun YOU want to have.

[lovcom]

I would not care what others think of my saving/spending habits. You don't have to justify your financial behavior to anyone else. If your friends think that you are "strange" for your habits, then this proves you have the wrong type of friends...friends are replacable, commodities...they are not your family....go find like minded others to hang with...life is too short to hang with the mediocre, the idiots, the losers, and frankly most people are like that....

[swanson719]

Most of my buddies at work make a lot more than I do, but they come to me for financial advice. Don't get me wrong, I have my toys. But I also know enough to invest, save, and live within my means. Most of the time people ask for advice, which I'm young and still learning, so I give basic stuff and refer them to the professionals I use for the more complicated. Like on friend sold his house, and had me review the closing docs. Some of the stuff looked wierd and didn't make sense to me, so I had him ask for an explanation of them from the realtor. Ended up saving $1000 because it was fluff tossed in that most people just sign for anyway.

Saving and being frugal isn't weird at all. It's weird that people are willing to work all their life - literally until death - because they can't wait to have something until they can afford it.

[kenyantykoon]

thinking about money and the future is is a virtue called prudence. It is important to do things with the end in mind; you make better decisions now when you do this. On the other hand if you over so it it could really mess up your life. Do not think about money all the time because it may become and idol like charles dickens' scrooge. If you are thinking that your friends will join you in making good decisions about money, i hate to burst your bubble but you may have to wait a very long time

[TheStreetCeo]

Don't try and change the perception. I would be willing to bet that most of your friends are envious of you and wish they could make the same smart decisions you have.

My friends are the same. I will sell things at my house or create money making ways to purchase a want instead of using my own money. They thinks this is crazy and say it often. however, in time they have co0me to my blog or to me personally and asked questions on how to save or spend money wisely.
Keep on the right track, your track not theirs.

[jasonnoguchi]

I am proud you are amongst the very few people in the world who are actually concerned about the utilization of money. I won't worry about changing their perceptions and they won't see why you should be this concerned for many more years to come but when the next economic crisis hits and those people who used to laugh at you get into deep financial trouble, you will get the last laugh.