**beating my head on the wall**

[irmanator]

I don't know how most of you handle giving advice to hard headed ppl. I tried to help my friend who is complaining that she can't pay her mortgage for feb. but she simply can't give up buying new boyscout camping equipment for her son because he is growing... (and other things she can't give up of a similar nature) I recommeded she come here...... bot gosh she is so stubborn ...(reminds me of when i started coming here) .

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

There is, though, something nearly poetic about buying a tent, sleeping bag, canteen, mess kit, and waterproof matches when one might be losing one's home..... I mean --maybe?

[irmanator]

thats what i said to her she didn't get it.....

[Mike75]

Let her be

You can't help anyone who doesn't want to help herself. All you can do is just make sure that she knows all the consequences of not paying her mortgage... Rest is up to her!

[elessar78]

I wonder about that too. I coach a sports team and, after the fact, I find out that a few parents lost their jobs but are still footing the bill for the sports team (not cheap).

[wnlbutterfly]

Priorities are all messed up in our generation. Some of it is the feeling of entitlement, some is wanting everyone else around you to think you are well off (keeping up with the Jones), and I think the rest is just plain being stupid. I am sure little Johnny will be so proud of his new camping equipment when they have to live out of their car.

I have also felt that the roof over your head should be first on your "to pay" list. You could do without water and electric if push can to shove, but at least you would be INSIDE!

There are always going to be people that don't want to hear real solutions, just like trying to tell someone how to lose weight, they don't want to hear that they have to quit eating donuts and go for a walk.

Now that you know she isn't going to listen, just avoid that topic, you will only be causing yourself grief.

[wincrasher]

Although I agree that paying the mortgage should come first, most people are funny when it comes to their kids.

First, they don't want your advice about it - period. So don't bother.

Second, their priorities aren't really screwed up - their kids are first. They want them to have all the experiences they had as kids (at least the positives) plus get to do the things that they didn't get to do. They don't see that not paying the rent or mortgage this month as conflicting with that priority, even though it does. They probably think it will work itself out.