get a security system?

[arthurb999]

Home invasion is a different category to be sure, and that is much more difficult. I plan for that as well, but so far, I've only addressed burglaries.

You can put your alarm on stay mode (which arms doors and windows only not motions) which will help against that. If they force you to disarm it, there is a distress code you can enter which will appear to have turned the system off but send a distress signal to the monitoring station who will call the police.

[Broken Arrow]

WE have a small fluffy lap dog, but he still barks at stuff. Maybe oen day I can get a larger dog. I really prefer small, but I have known large dogs to be very very loyal and protective.

A large dog that is reasonably trained to bark only at large creatures is ideal, but even a small, hyper one will do. Imagine yourself in the shoes of a would-be burglar. If you're trying to close in on an unfamiliar house, the last thing you want to hear is a dog barking at you.

Conflicting advice on the lights. I read keeping a bathroom light on made them really think you are home.

That's why I made a point to mention it. The light that you should have on every night is the exterior lights, NOT the interior lights. Most people suggest interior lights to make it look like someone is home, but it can backfire because lights also give burglars a clue from the outside as to what you may be doing inside. Did you bathroom light suddenly come on? Great. You may be taking a bath or is on the toilet. That is when you are also most vulnerable and that's when they should move in. How about when your bedroom light suddenly went off? Great. That may mean you're settled in for the night. We'll wait another couple of hours before we move in.

Do you see what I mean? In other words, set exterior lights to come on every night. Interior lights used to make it seem like people are home are fine so long as they are non-specific, such as hallway lights. You can use room lights, but make sure the windows are covered. Please remember that while an unoccupied house is an easier target for burglars, your presence alone is not always enough to deter burglary (as you've stated yourself in your first post). Moreover, if it's a home invasion, your presence is exactly what they want to confirm, because they are also after you.

If someone breaks in, I will be scared so I hope I am not home, but I don't want to leave good stuff around for them either.

I think having good advance preparation will go a long way towards giving you a peace of mind and allow you to work through it at the first sign of trouble.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Goldy1, do you feel some fear every day? I'd say, sure, get an alarm, but also make a deliberate effort to meet and befriend all your closest neighbors and become familiar with when they are generally home. Knowing that someone else is close by and possibly even would call police if they see or hear something suspicious can be a small comfort.

I'm home a lot and so have a kind of familiarity with nearby houses that might make me call police if something seemed wrong. Like one house across the street---they never, ever use their front door and are kind of reclusive as well. If I saw someone jimmying around the front door, I'd be pretty sure something was up. I don't even know those folks, but I might be able to tell when something is askance.

Some other guys on that side of the street have a band and go out of town a lot, loading up a trailer and leaving for a week or more at a time. If I just saw them leave and then saw a moving van pull up, alarms would go off in my head, even if not in their house. Sometimes I hear my next door neighbor's dogs barking their heads off inside their house during the daytime when the owners are gone. I look out to see if someone might be meddling around their house.

All this is just to say that there may be neighbors who are already aware of your house and habits somewhat, and they might already be prepared to call police on your behalf even if you don't know them. If you have an acquaintance with them, the chances that they would intervene goes way up. Once you feel you know them sufficiently, you can offer to keep a casual eye on their place and ask them to do the same for you.

You know, as your child grows older, you will want to have neighbors that he can run to in an emergency, too. You'll teach your child all kinds of things about personal safety, how to call 911, how to be cautious generally, but you'll also need to teach him that there are people who will help him in an emergency: police, e.m.t.'s, firefighters, certain neighbors. So you'll need to have a good idea which neighbors to tell him to run to in an emergency. (Sorry, I know something like that is disturbing to think about when your baby is so completely innocent and helpless.)

Are you spending an awful lot of time with no other adult around? I think if you are already prone to fear or loneliness, a lot of alone time can increase fearfulness. With your baby eight months old now, you could try beginning to get together with a play group. At his age, the play group is even more for the parent than for the baby, I'd say! When I was a stay at home parent of a baby, I loved it, but did miss the company of other adults. Play groups can grow into individual friendships both for the parent and the child. You might have visitors over more often and have cozy, safe places to go visit more often....Hmmm, that might help curb the urge to get carry out food that you mentioned in another thread, too. Having refreshed yourself with a little conversation and entertaining at home (or being entertained in someone else's home) might make you feel less urge to go to carry out restaurants for stimulation and a change of atmosphere.

[MonkeyMama]

I agree with BA's first post.

Debate about monitored security -from my understanding they are pricey and over-rated. My personal understanding was that those are easy to breach (any professional anyway). I personally wouldn't waste my money, home or not. (We installed our own security system, and our neighbors have our cell phone # if they went off while we weren't home. That's the frugal way to do it - and I can assure you our neighbors care about resolving an alarm, more than an alarm company does. They show more concern for our home than any corporation. But I think the point of the matter has been adressed - alarms do not deter professionals). In addition, not very impressed with my employer's security monitoring company.

I live in a "high crime" area. A lot of break ins, but not very many home invasion/armed type crimes.

99% of the time, someone breaks in through an open door or window. I'd say the best advice is not to be an easy target. Also, don't leave boxes in plain sight (like on the curb) that show you have made an expensive purchase. But the most important is to lock your doors and windows. That simple.

Alarm or not, get security stickers for your windows. When we first moved into our home, before we installed our security, I bought some off the internet. Was a real security company, and not obvioulsy "fake." From my experience, people take the sticker seriously! I had quite a lot of friends and professional contractors, etc., take the sticker seriously. Sometimes it would throw me off if they made a comment on our "alarm." Helps not to look confused when someone asks a questions about it (don't blurt out, "what alarm???")

Motion sensing lights are also a good deterrent. Don't leave dark shadows for people to hide in.

When gone for vacations, we set some inside lights on timers. Loud radios work too. (Leave them on a timer - if they are just left on 24/7 - that is a clue you are not home).

ETA: Neighborhood Watch and/or good neighbors, make ALL the difference. We never got a formal watch going in out neighborhood, but our neighbors are just as effective. They are just home a lot and very good at looking out for each other, which gives me the most peace of mind, of everything I listed.

[disneysteve]

I guess it comes down to peace of mind. I would much rather spend $30/month to know that someone will respond if my alarm goes off than spend $30/month to watch a couple of premium cable channels, for example. For less than the cost of one meal out, I get a phone call wherever I am when my alarm goes off. I don't think that is overpriced or overrated.

[Broken Arrow]

On a related note, while amateurs may still sneak around, many professional burglars will now walk straight up to your door in disguise. They may be dressed up as a maintenance man, cable or telephone guy, moving guy, and maybe even you. That way, even if your neighbors detect them, they may not seem suspicious.

So, always be careful when you answer the door.

[lovcom]

We have a policeman in our family; 32 year veteran in the OC.

He said the ONLY homes that get burglarized are those that do not have an alarm system with remote monitoring.

That settles it for me.

[disneysteve]

We have a policeman in our family; 32 year veteran in the OC.

He said the ONLY homes that get burglarized are those that do not have an alarm system with remote monitoring.

That settles it for me.

That simply isn't true. First off, even if a burglar can tell that you have an alarm system, there is no way for him to know whether or not it is monitored. Second, just because there is an alarm system doesn't mean it is armed. As I said earlier, my coworker's neighbor got robbed. They had an alarm system but it wasn't on and they left a window open.

[lovcom]

That simply isn't true. First off, even if a burglar can tell that you have an alarm system, there is no way for him to know whether or not it is monitored. Second, just because there is an alarm system doesn't mean it is armed. As I said earlier, my coworker's neighbor got robbed. They had an alarm system but it wasn't on and they left a window open.

The stickers tell the brand of alarm system and that can determine if the systems can be monitored. I use the word "can be" because a crook has no way of knowing if the people are paying for monitoring or not (optional).

Often burglaries are inside jobs; friends of the family, that sort of thing, so often they know if a family habitually leaves the alarm on or not, if they're home and with this inside info, one can determine a monitored home to be worth the risk of entry.

Most crooks are opportunists, and they want the fast and easy. They are often lazy and this is why a monitored home can be a huge deterrant to most crooks.

I stand by what my cousin the cop claims.

[disneysteve]

Often burglaries are inside jobs; friends of the family, that sort of thing, so often they know if a family habitually leaves the alarm on or not,

That's actually a very good point. If you never set your alarm and go around telling your friends and family as much, you may be asking for trouble.

A lot of crime happens to people who do things to make themselves targets.

[Broken Arrow]

Home defense, and really, self defense in general is an exercise in layered defense. That's because there is no such thing as a silver bullet that will provide maximum protection. Dogs can fail, guns can fail, alarm systems can fail, and most of all, home owners can fail.

I'm sorry to question the credibility of your family, but anyone who tells you that if you just do this One Thing, you'll be fine. That type of misinformation will put you and your family in grave danger.

As for Police Officers, believe it or not, but we are not always subject matter experts, depending on what it is. Yes, I used to be a cop too for what that's worth. Every cop I've known in the force had a specific interest. Some were into gangs, some were into narcotics, some were into SWAT, etc. So, depending on your specific interests, you may know how to do that one thing very well, but then not know a whole lot about the rest.

Typically, when one cop needs more information on something, that's when he or she will turn to another one that does focus into that specialty for advice. But the point is, no, we are not always subject matter experts in every field. My specialty, by the way, was personal self-defense and computer security. It was an odd combination, but there you have it.

[arthurb999]

i agree with the layering....

A good set of locked deadbolts, tough locked doors and windows, an armed alarm system, locked fences, well lit yard, little cover, etc...

Like layers of an onion

[Broken Arrow]

Like layers of an onion

Yeah, that's exactly the analogy. That way, even if one or two layers have been compromised, you still have a third and forth that will hopefully do the trick before they get to the core, which is you.

[Goldy1]

I do go to a first time moms group. I agree I would like to meet more moms on a one on one basis and am workng on that It is better than the couple groups I go out to! I do get some fear if home alone in the dark on occasion.

No, I don't have daily far. I am an avid paper reader and read the crime blog so it gets my wheels turning. I wouldn't think much of it otherwise.
I guess I just know I would never feel the same if it ever happned. I would feel more vulnerable and violated so I want to be proactive!

My dh installed outside lighting which he did not install as motion sensitive. IT is just on all night and on a timer to turn off in the morning.

[Saving_spree]

Security system is good to have.

It helps you have a good nights sleep...