Loan paid and lesson learned

[terces]

Family member who we lent money to 8 months ago finally came through and paid us back. We had given up on ever seeing the money. Big long story but basically he was avoiding us, never calling, constant broken promises of paying us. The only thing we did right was that we had an official contract with him and took posession of several of his prized items.

Lesson learned though... we will never lend out money again....especially to him.

[creditcardfree]

I'm glad you were paid back!

Loaning money to family members or friends changes the relationship, as you discovered. It's better to give it as a gift, or not at all.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

The part about taking possession of several of his prized possessions is interesting. (The nosey part of me would love to know what they were.) Was that written into the contract, or something you agreed on after he failed to hold up his side of the contract? Did he "buy back" those prize possessions with the final payments? Did just take them in lieu of payment? Did you take then and sell them?

I've lent money to family a few times and never had trouble getting paid back as soon as they were able. I've lent money to friends and sometimes the payback was prompt, sometimes slow. The biggest loan I ever made was paid back the fastest--four days later, I think it was. One person gave me her engagement and wedding rings as security, even though I did not ask for them. She turned out to be very slow to pay back. As I knew she'd had a car repossessed in the past, and I knew how she had frittered away money in the past, I had felt sure she would be slow to pay back. I took that into consideration when making the loan.

I've never felt surprised by how anyone has acted when they've borrowed. Everyone was true to their own character. It is true, though, that I do not want to make loans again to the slow payers.

[terces]

Money was lent to my BIL... who unfortunately has a long history with many family members of either not paying or if he did....took forever to pay back. I would have never lent him this money but DH really wanted to help his brother and he did pay us previous money owed. This time BIL did one of those stupid title loans from a sleezy place and got his truck taken away.

BIL wanted to give us the title of his truck for collateral. I figured if we took something physically from him he might realize the loss and pay quicker to get his stuff back. (He is a stuff kind of guy) Not like we are rich...so giving him the money hurt us too. So we took possession of his computer, brand new mountain bike and handgun. All this including claim to his truck was in the contract. If he didn't pay we could sell his stuff.

Yes, I know you should never lend family money. And unforunately this relationship was already strained but DH did what he felt he needed to. What hurt the relationship even more was the constant broken promises and avoidance...... if he was having trouble paying back all he had to do was be honest about it. Instead he treated us like his creditor. No payments were made by him in all this time...we got one lump sum today. We'll see what happens now that this is all done.

[elessar78]

Do you wonder if he got the money to pay you back legitimately? Not like he did something criminal, but any chance that he borrowed it from someone else to pay you back?

What does he do for a living? Is it possible that he came up with the lump sum, because it doesn't sound like the type that can save up. Anyway, of minor concern really, but just curious.

[terces]

You know I wouldn't want to even go there.... He's the type always looking for the deal and the hookup. We never know if he is saying the truth or not. We had actually pretty much written off the debt and were getting ready to sell the stuff. Then the payment happened out of the blue. I'm glad its done and over on our part.