Loaning $ to Family or Friends

[Fern]

Have you ever loaned money to family or friends?

Did you: have a written agreement regarding repayment terms or was it done on a handshake?

Did it work out ok, or was it a bad experience?

[shengmei]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I had WAY TOO MANY bad experiences loaning money.

Just don't do it. Even if you get the money back, you ruin a perfectly good relationship.

[pennywise]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

Do not do it! People like you when the money flows, but when it stops and is time to pay - Gone. I do suggest a written contract so you can enforce the loan. My FAMILY (brothers and sisters) only know me when money is needed. I have a disfunctional family and with the last using by my family I told my spouse I do not want to talk to them. I have worked hard for my money. I am abused when I work, so I deserve what I have. I have sacrificed and saved. And I mean sacrificed. I do not watch TV, I do not take vacations (currently), I do not drink, smoke, go to movies. I am concerned about having food in my retirement. My net worth is >350,000, because I was frugal, smart, and worked hard under hostile conditions. I will NOT touch this savings for school or any reason outside of disability or retirement. That is the purpose of this money. I will attend school like a pauper and save every penny I can. Remember, my spouse, myself are in Doctoral and Graduate studies and the daughter is in private school. That is over $30,000/year in education. But it is our priority. I figure we will have to work until 72, so we might as well have careers that will let us work well (with our minds if God does not give us Alzheimers or a stroke).

[terry1156]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I only loan out money that I don't expect to ever be paid back. That keeps it so there are never any hard feelings. If I expect the money back, then I won't lend it. It is a simple rule that has helped out a number of times.

[tamip]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

Don't do it. My husband and I learned the hard way.

Dh sister needed to borrow $1000. All we had to loan was our vacation money, which I needed back from her in 6 weeks. I told her that if she didn't think she could do that, not to take the money because I had to reimburse our cc for our planned vacation. You guessed it, 6 weeks came and went- nothing. We finally got our money (a year later), and hurt feelings all around. Totally not worth it.

Lesson learned.

[akaivyleaf]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

Never lend more than you can afford to give. If you can't give it to the borrower, don't lend it. If you give it, and they give it back you did good, if not, no heartache on either person's end.

I tell people when they ask to "borrow" money not to lie to me. I'll give it to them, because I've been blessed to do so. If I don't get it back, I know not to give to them again.

Sharon

[miclason]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I do it with my sister or my cousin with closed eyes...on a handshake...we write it down in our notebooks and that is that...I know I'll get it back...for anybody else, I just don't...

I have borrowed money from my ex-husband and paid it back....whenever I KNEW I couldn't pay it back I have asked him up front to give it to me AS A GIFT if he could...(he pays no allimony, so he tends to be "generous" about it...plus, he knows how proud I am and knows I will only ask if I REALLY REALLY REALLY need it!)

I have also served as co-debtor for (very few) friends and my sis...and they in turn have served as co-debtors for me when I needed it...

I have to add that these (friends, sis and cousin) are people that I'd go to hell with/for...and that I know would go to hell with/for me...

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I agree with terry1156. I would loan money to immediate family and have done so only when I feel it is an emergency. That being said I will lend no more than 500 dollars as I am in a tight situation myself. I have only had to make two loans of more than 20 or 30 dollars over the years and both times was repaid.

I don't make loans to friends. That is how people remain friends. I guess I would just give the money if it were life and death. Friends have never asked me for a loan.

[jmjj215]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I don't loan money to friends or family. I'll give it - as long as I'm not giving a drunk a drink - but won't lend it.

[BAGAGT1]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I guess I am lucky, I have loaned substantial amounts to both my parents (>$1000) and my in-laws, and in both cases, I have been paid back in full and on time.

[kzz]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loaned money to our youngest son. He is setting up an automatic deferral from his account to our account the first of the year. (once he is established in his job and gets his next raise) I'm not concerned that he won't follow through on it. He is extremely responsible.

In the near future we may have to loan money to DH's mother. We will put everything in writing and have it notarized at her bank. Once she sells her home we will expect to be paid back.

[kittycat0604]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I loaned money to my sister, and I got the money back even she joked about that should be a gift. I also borrowed money from my parents, I wrote down a note saying how much I borrowed and and what interest I will pay them and when I will pay them back, and I did paid them back with interest on time. I saw too many horrible cases on JudgeJudy/People's Court/..., I will only lend money to people when I am sure I could bear the loss of either the money or the friend(family). One female "friend" of DH want to borrow a significant amount of money (>5000) to buy an apartment in a foreign country, I said to DH if she would agree to write the note and notarize it, I would consider it, and I never heard DH mentions it again, ????

[cercis]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I've borrowed money from family. And I'm paying money back now.

I would loan to family members, but not until I've paid back what I owe (my thinking being that if I had the money to loan, I'd pay off what I'd borrowed). I agree, though, that you should never loan more than you can afford to give away.

[marglo]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I only loan if I can give with no expection of getting it back.

[Luv2shop]

Re: Loaning $ to Family or Friends

I have lost hundreds of dollars lending out money. I don't do it anymore. Most likely if they need to borrow from you, they have no credit or bad credit. Most likely , you won't get it back. I never borrow money from friends or family!